Two More Months!

Scene: Sunday morning, snuggled in bed. Tony is fast asleep, Oliver is waking.

Me: Good morning sweetie. Guess what today is?
Oliver: What?
Me: It's a new month today -- it's now May.
Oliver: (excited) Two more months!
Me: What are you talking about?
Oliver: Two more months until my birthday! I want a Halloween party...

Oh man. Can you tell someone is (and has been) excited for their upcoming birthday...that is still more than two months away!? He's been asking for a Halloween themed birthday party for a couple of months now. Something spooky. He wants to be sure he can bob for apples (like in Curious George's Boofest cartoon), too. What a kid!

Well, it's been over a month since I last posted. Naturally a lot has happened since then. Oliver continues to grow so fast we can barely keep up (and keep him in clothes that fit properly...really looking forward to shorts season). He's enjoying the Saturday morning Korean Heritage Program (we call it Korea School), swimming and Taekwondo. We celebrated his last year as a Cubbie in his AWANA program at church -- Oliver is beyond excited at being a Spark next year! We've been on his first school field trip, seen the play "I Love You, Stinky Face" and enjoyed our first visit to the local ice cream shop. 

For those itching to see a few pictures, here you go!

Two handsome guys Easter morning

We went to our local rec center to see an ice show called "Frozen." What we didn't realize: it was a series of recitals by local ice skating classes, not a true ice show.  Oliver lasted about 40 minutes, but we still had fun!

Silly boy in a tunnel at the playground

Oliver's first school field trip to Coon Rapids Dam was a success!

Every so often Tony and I get to do grown up things. Here is a selfie we sent Oliver while waiting for Mumford and Sons to take the stage. We had a great time!

After the play ended Oliver got a chance to see the characters. His favorite was the dinosaur.

Our local police station held an open house. Naturally the kids were quite curious about the jail and thought it was fun to go inside a cell. Praying he never winds up in a cell for any other reason! 

Cubbies award time!

One of the reasons for the delay in posting (beside the usual busy schedule and minimal personal computer time) is that I've been...struggling. Big time. Since at least August I have had far more down times than up (even though I know God doesn't want this for me, I know my life is blessed, my family is a blessing and Oliver brings a massive amount of joy!). 

For those of you who have known me for a long time, you know depression is something I've dealt with over the years. Using exercise and other tools, and occasionally seeking help when there's a specific issue, I've managed to come out on top.

This time around, I'm just worn out. The down times aren't usually fueled by a specific something. Rather it's a more general "failing across all aspects of my life" kind of thing. Not being the mother I want to be, the wife Tony deserves, the person God wishes me to be. Unsure of what I should be doing career wise. Making poor choices with my physical health (and not feeling well much of the time). Lacking conviction and motivation to make better choices, too. Often feeling exhausted, confused, unable to focus, short tempered...a ball of fun to be around, right?!

I don't have the fight in me to claw my way to the top, nor do I have the clarity to determine the right course or the motivation to get myself there. Some mornings I wake up feeling as though I've been hit by a truck...physically and emotionally. And for seemingly no reason. 

With that, I have finally decided to reach out for help. I pray that the person I meet with tonight is a good fit. I pray that she will have Godly insight into how I should move forward, even if she isn't herself a christian (I am not going through a christian counseling organization). I am thankful for the patience Tony has shown me, and the grace Oliver has given me. But I know it may still be awhile before I start to feel better. In the meantime, prayers are appreciated. And I will try to be better at posting the fun times we have with Oliver, as they are many.  

2029

Tonight we attended Kindergarten Orientation for Oliver's fall class. He was so excited to see his new school (perhaps in part because he will likely get to take the bus at least one way)! The four kindergarten teachers were there and we had the opportunity to meet two of them -- both were very nice. 

I know all parents have the "how did he get so old so fast" moments and this was certainly one for me. I had to hold back tears a number of times (entering the building, seeing 2029 on his packet, etc.). I am holding them back even now!

This ball of energy whose clothes keep getting too small, whose hair is crazy because he is apparently old enough to decide that he wants to grow it "long like Mommy's", who was throwing big words like elementary school around in the car on the way over...just yesterday it seems like we were meeting for the first time. Unable to verbally communicate. He still took bottles at night (and the morning) and was in diapers. And now he's getting ready to be a full time student. For the next 13 (and hopefully more) years. Oh my...the parenting journey continues!

This is my new school!!

A Day in the Life...

Otter is Oliver's special stuffed animal, the one who has gone on many car rides, visited school in Pajama day and is usually found next to Oliver in bed at night. On Friday Oliver decided that Otter should join me at the office while he had a special day with Daddy. Throughout the day I sent them updates on Oliver's day at work. When I got home, Oliver made sure that I had taken good care of Otter throughout the day, then snuggled Otter because he had missed him.

A Day in the Life of Otter at Work

We arrive early to the office, only one co-worker is in. Mom's "desk" is a bit cluttered...this isn't nearly as nice as her last place! But the co-worker is sweet and Mom does have two computer screens...I guess we should get to work.

Time to check out the lab. Mom didn't take a picture of her company's product in use in case there were any proprietary things that shouldn't be shared publicly, but I thought the whole space was super cool. Oliver would love it! Which reminds me...I sort of miss him.

Lunch time selfie! So glad for the break, it's been a busy morning.

This place has a snack table! Yum! Mom, can we can one of these at home??

I'm wiped out. What a day! I'm all bundled up and ready for the drive home. I can't wait to see Oliver!

---

Meanwhile: A Day in the Life of Oliver and Daddy

The morning started off with a little silly time before preschool. This photo is just for Mom!

I had a great day at school so Dad offered me my choice for lunch. Chuck E Cheese it is! So many rides. So much fun!

Look at me! Playing games with Dad, who is having a blast too. This.Is.The.Best.Ever!

Mom and Dad left after dinner for small group, but Sydney came over to play. She snapped this picture of my hanging out playing trucks. What a day! I love it when I get special time with Dad!

Happy Love Day

As Oliver says, HAPPY LOVE DAY! He has been looking forward to this day for awhile now. Oliver enjoys celebrating holidays -- he gets excited, likes to count down to the big day and generally elevates even the most ordinary holiday to something special. Having a child does bring a new level of joy to life!

Pure joy!

Oliver invited Oma to be his special valentine at school this year. While I was sad to miss out, clearly they had a great time. Thank you Oma for sending us pictures!

What an awesome picture of these two valentines!

So focused...if only we could bottle that for things like cleaning up.

Fun activities at the valentines party

An action shot by Oma!

And better late than never, HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR! Nearly a week ago we celebrated the Lunar New Year with a korean and thai dinner, then Oliver tried his Hanbok on again. This may be the last year it fits, but he still looks so very handsome in it!

What a doll!