Father's Day and a Quick Catch Up

Happy (belated) Father's Day! I pray that all Fathers, Grandfathers, Father-Figures, Mentors and Role Models had a fantastic day Sunday. I am grateful to have a number of terrific men in my life to honor on such on occasion:

My Father: well, that's pretty obvious! The man who has been there day in-day out, regardless of how terrible my teenage attitude was or how tired he felt from a long day at work. Thanks, Dad!

My Father-in-Law: the man who helped shaped my husband, who is a fantastic Opa to our son, and who welcomed me into the family with open arms. He's also great at helping us fix things. All-in-all I'd say I'm pretty lucky to have married into such a loving family!

Dan: it feels strange to call him my step-father, as he entered my life when I was well into my 20's. Nonetheless, he's become a father-figure to me, is a wonderful Pawpaw to all of the grandkids and is a blessing to all of us. 

Grandpa: while he is in heaven rejoicing with the Father, I will always cherish the love, patience and advice he generously gave me. I wish that he could have been part of my life as Tony and I married, and that he could have met Oliver. It's been a long time since he passed away but I still miss him.

Tony: the new dad on the block. Witnessing his love grow for Oliver, his parenting skills sharpen, and his excitement over sharing his own hobbies and joys with Oliver touch my heart. After our journey, just seeing him cuddle with Oliver on the couch is a welcomed sight and blessing. Here are two pictures from last week when Tony and Opa took Oliver to a small pond for his first fishing experience (at least his first with us):

So, Happy Father's Day! Not just to those who are traditional Dads, but to all men who positively shape and mentor the younger generation. THANK YOU!

In Other News:
It's a big and busy week in the Meyers' house. Tony has been away on a work trip since Monday morning, returning Thursday afternoon. Aside from our trip to St. Louis, this is the longest Oliver and Tony have spent apart -- and the longest we have been home and Daddy has been away. Oliver is managing okay though he clearly misses Tony and frequently comments that Daddy went on a airplane or that Daddy is working. So far things are going okay, though I am eagerly waiting for my helpmate to return! I don't know how single parents do it...

This Friday marks 6 months as a family of 3 (we took custody on December 20). We have our 6 month post-placement visit with our Social Worker as well as our first family photo session. I'm looking forward to getting the social worker visit (and paperwork) over with, but am very excited for the photo session. Yeah!

We are also in our final weeks with a two year old. Oliver's third birthday is July 7th and will be here before we know it. After celebrating his first two birthday without him, we are over the moon happy to be able to celebrate this one with him. Now, hopefully that means he will be out of his trying twos soon!

Reflections

Recently I was scrolling through many of our Oliver photos: ones we were sent during our wait; the 400+ photos the foster family gave to us when we took custody; ones we took at our first two meetings; and the photos from our time in Korea after we took custody. Much of our time right now is spent living in the moment and planning for the next, but as I scrolled through all of the photos I had an opportunity to once again reflect on Oliver's journey and all of those involved in his still-young life.

In the photos from his foster family we can clearly see that he was loved and adored. This family welcomed him in, met all of his needs, showered him with love and affection, and offered themselves fully to this little boy that would only be in their home for a couple of years (though they likely thought it would only be a year when they first brought him home). They loved him even though they knew it was just for a short time. What an amazing gift and blessing. I will forever be grateful for their family. At the same time, I am sad that we didn't get to spend those first two and a half years with him. I am also sad that he had to say goodbye to his Umma, Appa and brother -- and they had to say goodbye to him. Heartbreaking all around.

Back to the photos, his foster family included a few baby pictures that I am so happy to have (we received one hard copy baby photo early on but that is all we had). Let's flashback...

My heart lurches out of my chest when I see this picture 

What a cutie!

Check out that hair and those chubby cheeks and arms! 

Seeing his baby pictures is also a good reminder of yet another person who has had a large amount of influence over the direction of his life: his birth mother. I don't mention her much in the blog, but she is always part of Oliver's story, life and who he is. I often wonder how she is doing, if she thinks of him often, if she is happy and healthy. I wonder what she looks like, if some of Oliver's habits and traits mimic hers. Curious but grateful for the opportunity to become Oliver's Mom. I can't imagine my life without him!

As I looked at the photos from our time in Korea, it feels like so long ago (but has been less than six months). I've posted about our experiences while we were in Korea, our flight(s) home and the first few weeks / months as a family of three. Of the joys and challenges, of my own struggles with depression, of the sleep deprivation and aggression issues, of the sweet moments and some of our family's firsts.

But this time as I scrolled through the images I thought more about how we have changed. Not about the emotions and specific experiences, but how the three of us have grown together as a family. Oliver's ability to make this major life transition has been incredible. While not without bumps and bruises (physical and emotional), he has generally maintained his happy and energetic personality. In these early photos I can almost feel the uncertainty we all had around each other: two new parents who didn't know what to do and a little one who had didn't really know what was going on. No way to communicate verbally. Us not knowing him and him not knowing us. All of us trying to make the best of what was, quite honestly, a scary, brutal and tough situation. 

Fast forward to today. Not even six months later and we have seen remarkable changes. While Tony and I are still new to parenting and have much to learn (and many more mistakes to make), we are finally all three comfortable with one another. I can't tell you how good that feels. We are still getting to know Oliver, and he us, but we feel like a family. My heart melts on a daily basis at how wonderful he is….I often think I will just burst with love for him. He is beginning to settle in more both at home and with us in general. I'd like to think he is really feeling like our son; and I know that Tony and I are really feeling like his parents. Some things which were nearly untenable before are now manageable and even fun, like our Minnesota Zoo outing over Memorial Day weekend.

Oliver's language continues to grow at a rapid pace. He's even counting! The other night I heard him count for the first time (Tony has heard it several times before). He was counting how many times he poured water over his bath toys: "One, two, three, four, six, twelve, twelve, twelve, twelve." So darn cute! He has also been using "coming" a lot lately, as in "race car coming," "police car coming," etc., as he moves his cars around on the floor. 

Oliver has been loved by many in his nearly three years. I am grateful for each person that has loved him. I don't think he would be doing so well with this transition if it had not been for how he spent the first two and a half years of his life. So much has changed (and will continue to change). I am so happy to be the family that we are today.

Memorial Day Weekend

I'm nearly caught up on our photos and will be back to regular posting soon! Our Memorial Day weekend was fun and busy -- Oliver got to ride his Strider bike outside for the first time, we tested out our new (used) burley and biked to the local park, BBQ'd, made our first family trek to the Minnesota Zoo and enjoyed a lot of family time. Here are a few pictures from the big weekend.

I'm not sure which he liked more: riding his bike outside or wearing his Cars elbow pads, knee pads and gloves!

At the Minnesota Zoo. He was a little unsure of the goats....if only they would hold still!

This kid loves tractors and got a kick out of riding this out to the family farm area of the zoo. 

An old tractor for the kids to climb on. Perfect!

The zoo has a great playground. Between the playground and tractors, I think Oliver enjoyed those more than the animals on this trip.

Hooray!

A day at the zoo wouldn't be complete without a bit of a meltdown. Dad captured Oliver's frustration as I had to tear him away from one thing in order to move on to the next. He bounced back quickly though.

We ended our zoo day with pizza for dinner, and Oliver got to make his own. He had a blast!

Here he is cheesing it up!

10 Pictures from Easter

We finally downloaded all of our camera pictures and I now have photos from Easter Sunday. I posted about Easter here but didn't yet have all of the pictures to go with it. Below are ten photos of Oliver's first Easter here in Minnesota. The day before we dyed a dozen eggs. On Easter, we started the morning with an egg hunt at home, went to church (no photos there but he enjoyed his class), then we headed to Tony's Aunt and Uncle's place for the family meal, playground time and another egg hunt. He had a great time! 

He seemed to have fun, though it was hard to explain to him what we were doing.

He was patient, but I think he enjoyed playing with the egg tongs more!

The Easter Bunny left two gifts: the first was a Mr. Potato Head

Hunting for eggs (all of his dump trucks had something for him)

Opening gift #2: sidewalk chalk

Ready for church!

My two handsome men!

Fun on the playground

Jammin'!

A second egg hunt and even more Easter loot!