Questions & (an attempt at) Answers

In recent months the number of questions Tony and I have received seems to have grown exponentially. I get it. We did tell everyone last year that "we'll know more in early 2013." Hey, that's what we were told! 

Trust me folks. There aren't two people in this little circle of craziness that want answers more than Tony and I! So, what do we know? Not much. And often what we know one day (or for a few weeks) changes suddenly. See this post for what the process used to be, before the new Special Adoption Law was put into place in August 2012: click here.

I thought it might be worthwhile to attempt to answer some of the questions we've been getting lately (for broader information about adoption and more, check out the FAQ page).

Question: How do they decide when it's your "turn" to go?   Travel dates are determined by two factors. First, the date your acceptance of the referral arrived in Korea (our date is February 17, 2012). Second, if your child has special medical needs that require immediate attention (i.e., organ transplant or other operation). Special needs children are moved ahead in line for obvious reasons.

Question: When do you get to travel to Korea? When will Oliver be coming home?   We can honestly say that we have no idea when we will be given the "green light" to travel. What we do know is that the final group of families that were part of the 2012 quota will be the first to travel; there will be then be at least one more group traveling before our turn comes up, maybe more.

Question: How are groups determined? Why don't you know what group you will be in?   Families are submitted to the Ministry (in Korea) for the initial approval in batches, just to make things easier. They are called "groups" and they range in size and composition. Each group will include families from around the world and who are using a variety of agencies. The Ministry will then, literally, take a stack of the file folders and leave the rest for the next round. As a result, there's no way to know how many families the Ministry will review at once and how we will fall in the mix. The families are selected based on the criteria noted in the question/answer above.

Question: Are the North Korea / South Korea tensions slowing things down?   No. It is not having an impact at this time and is not currently of serious concern to the local or Korean agencies. Everyone is, of course, keeping an eye on things.

Question: So what is creating the slow down?   As referenced in a number of previous posts, there is a Special Adoption Law that was passed in Korea in 2011, which created changes for both domestic and international adoptions. As of August 2012 it became an active law. Without getting into great detail, the bottom line is that the law adds a court step to the process (among other smaller changes). The Korean Family Court now reviews all adoption cases. The Family Court has been working to determine the best way to review the cases, hence the stoppage/slow down in international adoption. 

Question: Would it help if I contact my Senator? Write a letter to someone?   I feel blessed to have friends and family who are willing to help! Unfortunately, there's not much to be done right now. There are lots of folks advocating for the children and families, but ultimately we all just need to be patient. There are some cultural factors at work here as well, so it is important for us as pro-active Americans to remember that Korean culture is very proper and highly values tradition, honor, appearances, etc. So to have "loud" Americans telling them what do...well, that's not been helpful in the past and we've been encouraged to show restraint!

Question: Can you bribe someone or find another way to outsmart the system?   Nope! While bribery or other methods might work for some countries, Korea is a by-the-book country. We have to wait our turn. (and yes, Tony and I have been asked that question!)

I do wish I had more concrete answers, but we truly do not know what will happen. There are numerous possibilities being debated by the four Family Court judges who are working on the international adoption cases and we just have to wait for them to make a final decision. In the meantime, we are happy to see Oliver growing and thriving -- at least according to his photos. We pray for peace, comfort and patience for everyone involved (from the waiting parents and foster families to the agencies and judges). 

We appreciate that the wait isn't easy for our friends and family, either, so thank you for being patient too! 

Package #7

Our seventh package will be making its way to our agency today, and hopefully will head to Korea soon. I came across so many cute clothes recently that I spent 20 minutes trying to decide what to buy (and what would fit in a one gallon zip top bag). I finally settled on:

- a cute pair of spring shorts with two matching polo tops

- a PJ set with a "Sleepy Monster" t-shirt, shorts and pants (all very soft and cozy)

We are also sending a few more useful items:

- toddler toothbrush (I'm hoping he'll take after me and enjoy flossing and brushing!)

- toddler forks and spoons

Finally, we have a note to the Foster Mom.

We hoped to include a stuffed frog from Puerto Rico that Tony's parents brought back, but the bag was stuffed. Next time! 

More on the North Korea Situation

Today our agency posted the following update, which I thought might be helpful for some of those worry-prone folks out there (a.k.a. the grandparents! and others too). Tony and I were discussing the situation earlier this week and while we are both concerned and scared, we also realize that the threats are nothing new. We continue to hope that these also amount to a whole lot of nothing, as they often have in the past. 

The below is copied from the weekly update page on our agency's website.

April 11, 2013: Response to Inquiries About North Korea Situation


This addition to the Weekly Update is in response to the recent news surrounding North Korean threats to South Korea and the United States.


Although ongoing media coverage of the situation on the Korean peninsula and government rhetoric is concerning, there is presently no imminent danger on the Korean peninsula.  The U.S. Department of State has not issued any Travel Warning against travel to or in the Republic of Korea (South Korea).  We continue to follow the U.S. Department of State and the U.S. Embassy in this regard.
 
All children in care, the caregivers and the Korean agencies are secure and there is presently no need for them to take any action in response to any threat. 


Please note that all children in care of the Korean agencies are under the guardianship of those agencies.  They are Korean citizens and most have not been issued emigration permission.  The care and the safety of the children is the highest priority of the Korean agencies. 
 

Without any intent of minimizing the current situation, but to provide perspective, it is important to note that there have been threats and/or incidents annually between North and South Koreas for several years recently and although unpredictable and frightening due to the unknowns at the time, these past episodes have subsided and not prevented families from traveling to pick up their children.
 
 

We will continue to monitor the situation and share program-related news with you accordingly.

21 Month Update

The last couple of weeks have been busy, though not particularly noteworthy. We are continuing to work on our lower level (door installation has been the primary focus lately), some spring cleaning has been done (even though it doesn't feel like spring yet), and we celebrated Easter with Tony's family. 

On the adoption front, we don't have much to report. As of this morning it does not seem that any of the remaining 2012 families have cleared the court portion of the process, so everyone is still waiting.

I'm sure you've seen the news coverage on North Korea and the threats and insults that are being made daily. Just today the North Koreans have suggested that all foreigners leave South Korea for their own safety. Many worldwide leaders and analysts suggest that the threats are empty -- and there is a history of empty threats being made. And while I am slightly concerned about what this could mean for the families currently in process to adoption, as well as families like ours, I am trying not to worry about it too much (yet). I pray that the threats are in fact empty and that tensions calm down soon.

But now to the good news -- Oliver is 21 months old and looks happy and healthy! We just received an update today and were glad to have photos showing him with our two most recent packages (package #6 and package #5). The books (and the pen he is playing with in the other photos) didn't come from us, but the cell phone, cds, blanket and monkey did.

It is nice to see that he does in fact receive our packages (though the first one was sent to our agency in mid December, so apparently it took awhile to get there!). Plus, he is so cute and we actually have some great shots of his face. Click over to the Oliver page for all of the images!