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We are home!

22 hours of travel with a sick child but we are finally home. Overall the trip went better than we thought it might; not great but not a nightmare either. The flight from Seoul to Dallas takes over 13 hours. Oliver was a handful when awake and refused to play with any toys or play any imaginary games. Luckily he slept for a few hours. I will admit that I had my first mommy meltdown ... Crying included. Nothing like crying into my toddler's shoulder after he hit me and pulled my hair to humble me! Here's a picture of him exploring the remote. 

When we arrived in Dallas Oliver became a US citizen! Once we deplaned we were routed to the non-US citizens line, then escorted into a small office for processing. I guess the paperwork will be mailed to us later, but there was no fanfare and we were on our way. We didn't have much time in Dallas but right before we boarded Tony took this picture:

It filled us with hope for a smooth flight home. Boy were we wrong! It was a very tough trip home. We all survived, though, and luckily no one was in the row in front or behind us. 

When we came home Tony's parents and my friend Becca surprised us with balloons, an It's a Boy sign out front, meals in freezer, gift card, groceries, homemade cookies and a cute display:

Oliver had fun exploring the house and didn't fall asleep until almost 3am. Today he slept most of the day. If he wasn't sick we would have worked harder to keep him awake but poor guy is so tired he just keeps laying down. He's actually already asleep again. Here's one final shot that Tony took tonight:

Right now it's hard to know how many of our issues are related to illness, the transition, grief or just being a toddler. Hopefully over the next few days he starts to feel better and feel more comfortable. That's it for now. We are still laying low with Oliver not feeling well, but can't wait to get his reaction to the large amount of snow we have!!

Thankful

Oliver's temp is finally down! And he is still sleeping, something he didn't do much of yesterday with all of his coughing. We are so relieved and grateful. Since he's not up yet we don't know how he's doing otherwise, but the fever breaking is an answer to prayer. 

We've received so many wonderful and sincere offers of help--thank you! I'm not ignoring the offers, just a bit preoccupied with everything here to think too far ahead. Once we get back we will likely take you up on the offers! 

One final note, today Oliver (or rather ChaeHa) becomes a U.S. citizen. So wonderful!

And a photo to close us out (watching The Lion King in korean):

P.S.  A big shout out to our awesome neighbors for plowing our drive. THANKS!

Christmas Day

 Christmas Day is winding down. Unfortunately Oliver is still pretty sick, and now he hates taking his medicine too (so much so he gets himself so worked up he can't hardly keep it down). Ugh. So hard on him ... and on new Mom and Dad. Both our Moms have helped, but it's scary being away from home and unable to really communicate with Oliver.

We are praying for a Christmas miracle that he wakes up fully healthy tomorrow, since we are set to head to the airport at 2:00.  Please pray!

As for Christmas, a few gifts were left for Oliver this morning. He was scared of opening them at first, but with a little help from Tony he warmed up for the last two. 

We also enjoyed a traditional Christmas cake -- Oliver got a little too (it's nearly the only thing he would eat today...yet another "winning " parent move). 

I hope you had a great Christmas! We are going to sneak a bit of packing in and then I need to crash. Hardly any sleep last night because of the poor sick little one. 

Low Key Day -- Update

Our low key day in turned into a trip back to the agency to see the doctor. Oliver's temp went up and I couldn't tell if the cough med had a fever reducer, so I was pretty worried. I emailed our local social worker to see if she knew what the cough medicine had or what we should do if he got more sick. She suggested seeing their doctor. With Christmas tomorrow we felt it best to go in. When Tony got back (with larger diapers, a traditional korean Christmas cake and the yummy street food fish) we headed out. 

The doctor says he has a cold with a fever. No ear infection or other worry.  He gave us three medicines (getting these through Dallas Thursday will be interesting. The bottles are handwritten and they didn't have any paperwork to give us!). 

We are back home and the fever has broken. He ate a good meal and has been playing again. And still coughing. :(

Nothing like being sick in a foreign country to scare a new parent!

Low Key Christmas Eve

NOTE: Due to a technical issue, some of my posts are being published out of order. This one was originally written and thought to be published on Tuesday morning.

It's nearly 1:00 on Christmas Eve afternoon. We had planned to go to the children's museum today, but Oliver woke up stuffy and has been coughing a fair amount. His appetite and energy level is much lower too. So it's a low key day in for us. 

Tony is amazing at finding what we need. Thanks to my mom's suggestions we knew what to look for and Tony headed to the drug store for children's cough and cold. No idea what brand it is, but the pharmacist spoke enough English that he could get us the right meds and he wrote the dosage in the box for us. 45 minutes later, here's the little guy:

I'm enjoying all of the snuggles though would give anything for him to feel better. Seems I have a touch of the bug too, unfortunately. Since he likes to share all of our drinks, it's no surprise. 

We had some major grieving after nap time yesterday. Just heartbreaking. Sobbing and wailing for a long time. And a lot of moments where he seems sad throughout each day. 

Most of the time -- when he's feeling good -- we just have non stop energy. 

Tony has been amazing at taking care of us both. He's been all over town for food, diapers, clothes, blanket, luggage, meds and more. And today he came back with egg toasts for Oliver and I (the street food I really liked...still wishing I could get another fish but haven't found any yet). And Tony has made or gone out to get nearly every meal for us. I could not do this without him and feel so blessed to be in this with him. 

 If Oliver feels better tomorrow we might try the children's museum, but we will see. Otherwise it will be a quiet Christmas in too. We brought a few gifts but we don't have a good way to make it more Christmasy here. Tony did buy enough food to keep us in rice and meat for far longer than we will be here, and I'm sure he'll cook up something yummy for us (we've had lots of meat and rice, which Oliver seems to love, so we eat it often. He pigs out on it, even using his Pororo Chopsticks sometimes)!

I wish you all a great Christmas Eve!

U.S. Embassy

Oliver has been with us for over 3 days now. We are most certainly in survival mode, and most parents of toddlers would probably have a lot of laughs at our attempt at parenting! We are truly winging it here...and I can't tell you how badly I wish we at least spoke the same language. Sometimes he just gets so frustrated at us because we can't make out what he's saying. It has to be so hard for him. 

Speaking of hard for him, sleeping is probably the time when he mourns the most, usually ending in a tantrum and then sleep. Last night there wasn't a tantrum, but it was even worse as he was just sad and confused and angry (and up until after midnight). So hard. Luckily he just fell asleep for his daily nap without a tantrum or any real fussing! Yeah!!

The first two nights bath time was something he wanted and was excited for. Yesterday we hit the "kiddie" pool, which wasn't as shallow as we would have liked. But, with limited opportunity to help him burn off energy, we figured we'd try it (holding on to him, etc.). He did slip once and got water in his face a few times when he wasn't expecting it. Not sure if that's what changed bath time, but he refused both last night and again this morning. Tonight he's taking a bath no matter what, but we have been trying so hard to be careful of our battles -- we desperately need to build trust, so if he's afraid and we force it, not sure how that will impact our relationship. I guess we will find out.

Today was our U.S. Embassy visit. I won't even start on how our morning went, how long everything takes us, how when Tony suggested running some errands early this morning I panicked and asked him to wait (I don't know how to feed Oliver and I, take my shower and get ready, get Oliver ready and get all of us ready for the embassy by myself!), etc. Bottom line -- we made it to our appointment on time! We got to go to the front of the long line, turn in our cell phones and head upstairs. Oliver was so full of energy he was all over the place in the waiting room! When our turn came we were asked to swear that our answers were truthful (regarding the online forms we completed on our last trip). Tony's fingerprint was taken. Then we "sat" back down (or ran around after a crazy two year old). In just under an hour we were all set! Our visa packet is in hand -- to be opened only by the U.S. officials when we land. We also have his passport! It's a Korean passport, but he will become a U.S. Citizen when the plane hits the ground. Yeah!

Apparently the crazy running around and multiple tantrums didn't deter us enough and we stopped for lunch at a Pork Cutlet and Curry place on our way home (we know he likes crispy meat and rice, and it seems easier to try to eat than soup or noodles served in soup). Our very first attempt at eating out! It went....okay. I honestly don't know how people do this. It was so hard, and tiring, and I basically inhaled what I thought was an okay amount of food while I tried to keep Oliver from getting out of control, out of the seat, or into something he shouldn't get into.

Oliver and I have been bonding pretty well. He and Tony are hot and cold. They have lots of fun times playing together, and sometimes Oliver will go to him for cuddles, kisses (po-pos), let Tony feed him, etc. But he also tends to literally push Tony away or refuse to let him feed, cuddle and kiss him. I'm sure in the long run it will all be okay, but Tony and I both expected that I'd be the one he pushed away. 

Anyway, nap time is only for another hour or so and I could use a minute of rest before we get back to it. And though we are now free to leave the country with Oliver, we are still going to stay through Christmas. A few more quieter days here will be nice, and while our Christmas here won't be much of anything special (I can't seem to find anything special to do, or to eat/cook), it will be nice to be together as a family. I'm pushing for us to try this Seoul Kids Museum tomorrow where they apparently have lots of fun things for kids of all ages -- we could use a new place to burn energy and it is good for Tony and I to try to get used to this whole going out with a kid thing. 

Off to rest! Hope you are all enjoying this wonderful Christmas week. While it doesn't feel like Christmas for us, we are certainly enjoying the best gift we could have asked for.

Welcome to Parenthood

NOTE: Due to a technical issue, some of my posts are being published out of order. This one was originally written and thought to be published on Sunday morning.

Well, Tony and I have been parents for two nights now. Thanks to jetlag we are up early today (even though he didn't go to sleep until midnight!) but yet we are so tired. And his diaper must have leaked in the bed! 

We are vying for parents of the year as we've been to McDonalds twice (he likes mcnuggets, but we don't really give him fries....he gets fruit -- and it's the only menu nearby with kid friendly food that we can read), he burnt his finger on a light bulb, I got poop all over me, he peed on the bathroom floor, and we learned he isn't used to having jeans against his legs (they must put him in two layers). Oh, and he has a big appetite!

I finally know he seems to be a 3T and is skinnier than he appeared with all those layers. 

And now I have to run. No time! He's getting antsy so we are going to check out the pool. More to come!

I'm a Mom

!!!!

Here's our final pre-parenthood photo :

It's official! We have final court approval, all of the agency paperwork in hand and the visa interview scheduled Monday afternoon. We also have OUR SON!

He's napping now and Tony is scouring he city for diapers (they didn't give us any and we can't easily find what size he's in either). The custody transfer was highly emotional. When we arrived at the agency we completed some paperwork and learned that we have the final approval from the court. Then we went upstairs to see Oliver and receive a prayer by the head of the agency. When we saw Oliver he literally ran down the hall to us calling out for Appa and Umma (dad and mom). Wow!

The Foster Mom was very emotional during the prayer. Clearly this was very hard for her. We hugged a couple of times and I am so grateful to have met her. Her son also came (her husband is ill so he couldn't come). 

She brought three big bags of stuff. Toys, favorite books, favorite snacks and drinks, a few clothes, a pair of shoes and more. She also gave us some photos of him at different ages, a USB drive (haven't looked to see what's on it yet), his hanbook (first birthday costume) and a bible from their pastor. Even some socks for Tony and I. She sent wipes but no diapers so assuming it was overlooked. She really tried to get us set up! Very touching. 

Our goodbye was so hard. Her adult son was just as emotional as she was. We shared the van with another family and their son was calm and quiet. Oliver wailed, flailed, screamed and sobbed the majority of the drive. We are back now and he finally fell asleep. Before that, I snapped this picture. 

I don't know what the next few days will be like, but we are praying that God will help ease the pain this transition is causing and that He will help guide Tony and I. We will need a lot of help!

Merry early Christmas! 

P.S.  We aren't quite ready to make the news public so we are still keeping it off. Facebook. 

Travels and Nerves

I'm in a taxi heading to our hotel, full of exhaustion, anxiety, a queasy stomach from the exhaustion and anxiety, and a whole lot of nervousness and feelings of being ill prepared for tomorrow morning. 

Our travels today went as well as we could expect. One close call on a connection and one delayed flight, but we made it (and so did our bags)! Our second two flights were in first class, including the 11+ hour trek. Here's a picture of Tony and I toasting before take-off. Also a picture of the comfort kit full of helpful goodies for the long flight. I loved the lay flat seats! I couldn't sleep too soundly but did get some rest. 

We won't get to the hotel until almost midnight. We will need to head to the agency early tomorrow as we need to be there by 10:30. I am utterly terrified of what is about to happen, and sad for the loss Oliver and his foster family are facing. A little exited too, but as I type this fear and uncertainty are outweighing joy and excitement. 

We are still praying that our final approval comes this week so we can do the visa interview Monday. I will update more when I can. 

Wednesday Morning Update

When I finally crawled into bed at midnight last night, we were packed but still didn't have a hotel booked or any other details worked out. The alarm went off at the inhuman time of 2:45 am and the 24+ hours of travel began. 

We pulled out of our driveway at 3:36; still no details worked out but now our first hotel choice came back fully booked. We got to the airport and checked in...then finally booked a hotel! Whew. One major detail down! Our first flight to Denver was 100% full and we were in the back row (so no recline and not comfortable enough to sleep). We landed on time and I'm now sitting in Denver airport waiting to go to San Francisco. 

When we landed Tony and I had two emails from our agency director. The first asked for our hotel details. The second one provided us with our schedule in Korea. 

The current plan, as coordinated on our behalf, is for us to take custody of Oliver Friday at 11:00! Then we are off to the U.S. Embassy for our visa interview on Monday at 1:00. We didn't get final approval today and can't do the visa interview until we get that. So keep praying!

Off to catch the second flight. 

And Away We Go (aka The Craziest Thing I Think I've Ever Done)

I don't have any news to report on the Final Approval front -- we are still waiting to hear that the court has signed off on our case and that we are legally a family. 

I DO have news, however, on a big decision Tony and I have made.

....We are going to Korea anyway....

Crazy, right? 

• No Final Approval (yet). 
• No scheduled transfer of custody (our agency hasn't been able to coordinate our taking custody yet, which we can do before final approval is issued, so long as we sign a million forms!).
• No place to stay (yet; that's next on our list).
• No appointment at the U.S. Embassy for our Visa Interview.

But we are going anyway. Our hope (and request) is that we can take custody Friday, with our back up request being Monday, allowing us to be a family of 3 on Christmas!

What does that all mean? It means we leave TOMORROW. Yes, that's right. We booked our flights today and board our first leg for a 5:50 a.m. departure tomorrow. Our trek out there will be filled with stops (Denver, San Francisco, Narita (Japan) then Seoul) and will take us about 24 hours of traveling, plus the 15 hours time difference. We land in Seoul Thursday night. 

Thanks to Tony's talent using miles and points, we are flying first class (!) on United for the final 3 legs (including the long trip from CA to Japan). Not necessarily the itinerary we had hoped for, but out of pocket the flights are now about $4400 one way -- in economy -- and even then there's not much available. 'Tis the Season!

I can't say we are as ready as I'd like to be. Nor can I say that I'm comfortable with this crazy plan with absolutely nothing being certain. I'm a planner, after all! I like to have my ducks all in a row...perhaps this is the appropriate introduction to parenthood? :)

So, why the impulsive, very "unlike Tony and Tonya" decision? Why such short notice? 
Basically, we don't want to go any longer without Oliver as a part of our family. While I've been struggling with the ups and downs of this whole process, it has finally caught up to Tony too. Yesterday was brutal as we waited to hear...and heard nothing. He watched as flights kept filling. And we realized that if we didn't fly in the next few days, there would be no way to spend Christmas together. 

We're taking a risk. A pretty big one, actually. With how things have gone for our family during this process, who knows how long the judge will take issuing our final approval! But, we will just have to face the potential consequences when they come...if they come. 

If you are the praying type, please please please pray that all of the pieces fall into place. Specifically:

• All of our flights there go well and we don't miss any connections
• Custody transfer gets arranged and is either Friday (ideally) or Monday
• Final approval is issued this week
• Visa interview is early next week, or Thursday at the latest
• Our visa is issued on the spot and we are cleared to return home on our scheduled flight, Friday, Dec 27th.
• And of course pray for Oliver and his Foster Family. This will be a difficult time for them.

Okay. Well, I better get back to all that needs to be done before we leave! The house isn't ready....car seats aren't installed....packing is nearly done but not fully ready....etc. I will work to keep the blog updated as best I can.

I can't believe this is happening!! 

The Sad State of Christmas in Our House

For several very good reasons, Tony and I decided to scale back Christmas at the house this year. I did put a few decorations up, but we skipped the exterior Christmas lights, I haven't baked a single Christmas treat, and biggest of all...we don't have a Christmas tree. Even Tony has commented that by not having a Christmas tree, it's hard to get into the spirit of the season. I suppose I could have agreed to buy an artificial tree this year, but if I did that I wouldn't be able to convince Tony to get a real tree in the future. 

So, instead of our traditional, beautiful tree, I put a tree skirt around our norfolk pine (each Christmas I put the tiny ornaments on, but I really miss our personal ones!). We also have so few gifts! My family gifts have already been mailed or ordered, and we are waiting until we return to buy gifts for the bigger Meyers/Lofgren Christmas celebration. As for Oliver's gifts, we will bring a few with us and will likely have that be all this year. 

This morning I realized that no matter how things fall into place, at this point there is no possible way we will be celebrating Christmas at home (unless the unthinkable happens and we don't get our final approval...not something I want to even consider). So next year we will have to go all out -- can't wait!

Saturday night Tony and I enjoyed what will be our last date night for awhile. We had dinner at Piccolo, a quaint restaurant in South Minneapolis with a very interesting dinner. The waiter snapped a picture of us, and though it didn't turn out very well (hello red eye!), the dining room was so small that it didn't feel right asking him to try again and disrupting the other diners a second time. So here's a black and white version of us getting ready to enjoy our final date night meal before we officially become parents:

Hopefully I'll be back with good news soon!

Mail, Gifts and More

Yesterday, Oliver received his first official package here at home! 

Nana and Pawpa sent a little bit of love up from St. Louis...in the form of a warm, fuzzy jacket (bought with the plane ride in mind), a handsome blue flannel shirt and a brand new pair of jeans. Oliver will be stylin! 

Yesterday brought a second Oliver-related surprise, this one from my office. They found a beautiful hand painted map of South Korea, framed and ready to be hung in his bedroom. A wonderfully thoughtful gift and a great send off from my two co-workers!

I was recently asked if there is a way for someone to get email updates when I publish a new post. As it turns out, there is! On the right side of the page there is a "Follow Me" box. Enter your email in the box, confirm the request email you are sent and voila! Next time I publish a post you'll get an email with the post (it might take a little while, but it will come through eventually). 

Well, back to obsessively checking my email! Hope to have good news soon. Stay warm!

Friends and Blessings

Our friends have truly blessed us (and continue to bless us). Each time I turn around there's a friend offering us clothes, sharing the apps that keep their little ones happy on long trips, giving us a word of encouragement, passing along a little this or that to help us out, and more. We even had a full crew on hand to help us paint Oliver's room (back in May). And last week a friend gave us an activity pack to bring along for the plane ride home (or whenever we need it). It's perfect! Very thoughtful...and already kid tested! 

This past weekend I sat down with the clothes friends have passed down, along with the clothes we were given at the shower. The clothes filled his floor and then some -- and my heart was filled with appreciation. For our friends, they probably didn't think too long about passing along these clothes. Maybe they were even happy to have them out of their house. For me, their gift has been a major help in preparing us for the unknown. It's allowed me to feel reassured and (at least a tiny bit) prepared. We now have enough clothing in a couple different sizes to get us through the short term, until we get back home and are able to better know what sizes work best. A small thing to our friends, but a huge thing to us. 

As we continue to prepare to bring Oliver home, we also continue waiting for word on the final approval. It's not yet been 14 days, so I'm enjoying a break in the usual email obsession and anxiety that comes with expecting an email "any second now." Instead I can obsess about whether we have enough toys to get us started, what we are going to get everyone for Christmas, how I'm going to get things set up properly at work, and so on. Plenty to worry about -- but also trusting God that His hand is on the situation and that if I just keep plugging away things will be okay in the end.

Update on Initial Approval

We heard back from our agency and it appears we are in the 14 day wait!! I am so relieved. I've been very worried that this final step would drag on and on. Of course our agency also said that while the official wait is 14 days, it is more like 3 weeks between learning of initial approval and hearing that we have received final approval. Bottom line...we will be with Oliver sometime yet this year. 

Of course we thought we'd be with him back in May...or June...or July (you get the idea). Never in my wildest dreams did I think we'd be up against the end of 2014 and still waiting. But the wait is nearly over!

Based on what needs to happen for our final trip, Tony and I will not be booking our flights until we receive the final approval and travel notificiation. At that time, we may leave within a couple of days, or we may find that we have to wait a bit longer in order to get a flight. We will have to wait and see.

So, good news here!

And, as I would hate to have a post with no photos, here are a couple of items we've picked up for Oliver. One we actually ordered on Amazon (after purchasing just the chopsticks in Korea -- left handed as we don't yet know if he is right or left handed (he's used both); now he will have a right and a left so all bases are covered).

Proro is a Korean cartoon; this is a training chopstick and spoon set with a carrying case.

A few toys we picked up on our first trip.
The set of small cars and figures on the left will likely be saved for a later date.

Initial Approval

We (finally) heard from our agency today and we have received initial approval from the court! Actually, we received initial approval on 11/28 (Thanksgiving), but our local agency was closed for the holiday. Now, before you get too excited and before you complete the "when do you leave" question, know this:
We do not know if we are in the 14 day wait OR if the Judge will be taking any additional steps before our case enters the 14 day wait.

That's right. Surprise surprise....we still don't know what's going on! At least we are used to living in the unknown. I'll update when we know more, but until then I will be incessantly checking my email. :)

In other news, the post-Korea cold went from bad to...well...bad. I'm glad we had the long weekend as I needed some quality time not moving around, hunkered under the blankets. However, I also needed to get a lot done in those four days! So, busy times ahead (and still trying to overcome this darn cold). I'd hate to leave on a sour note, though, so check out this handsome guy!

Dad is pushing Oliver on a little plane

We played a lot of in and out of the car.