On Your First Day

My Dear Oliver,

Today I saw you off to your first day of Kindergarten. Just two years ago we brought you to preschool, speaking and understanding limited English and not yet fully attached to Dad and I. We were all uncertain, not quite ready. 

Then today...you were excited and confident as you climbed onto the bus. We've been getting ready for this day for nearly a week -- making sure you knew how to buy your milk, ask for help and introduce yourself to your new friends. We picked out your first day outfit together (a rarity, since you usually say it's my choice). We went through your backpack and lunch box to make sure you knew what you were bringing with you. 

You went off and did a terrific job!

I, on the other hand, held back tears on the drive over to Oma's. Held back tears (ok...a few escaped) after we waved good-bye. Worried about how you were doing when school started, how lunch went and if you ate okay. Whether you behaved during the long day. Hoping you made it to the bathroom on time, washed your hands, treated your teacher and classmates with respect.

Yet when I saw you tonight at your Taekwondo class you were focused. Well behaved. You flashed me a big smile then went right back to work. You even earned another stripe on your way to your yellow belt.

You amaze me. 

Clearly I should have trusted that you could handle this big day. God is in charge after all.

Dad and I have big dreams for you, our young kindergartner. We pray you will enjoy school, love learning and trying new things. We hope that you find good friends who will help you be the best person you can be. We are excited to find you reading a book to yourself, researching a topic just because you're interested, and taking part in something bigger than yourself because you have a passion for it. I'm glad to be on this journey with you.

Thank you for being a wonderful son.
Love,
Mom

P.S. How can a school offer chocolate milk and think that any kid is going to chose the healthier white milk? Let's add that to the "working on it" list...

Proud to be in kindergarten!

Oliver insisted on a photo op with Otter.

Waiting with Oma to head to the bus stop.

A rainy first day.

Oliver earning his second stripe -- one more and he can test for his yellow belt.
What a big day!

Party Animal

It’s official: we have a party animal on our hands! Since Oliver celebrated his birthday with family on July 7, he has been to five (5!) birthday parties – including his own friend party. Let’s dive into that one first.

Getting ready for the party!

Oliver’s 5th Birthday, Friend Edition:

Oliver asked to invite five of the neighborhood kids over for a bike party (riding their bikes around, racing, etc.). Knowing it would be hot and that kids can only ride their bikes for so long, we decided to add in a bit of water-related fun as well (sprinkler, water guns and water balloons). We have yet to have lovely weather for any of his outdoor parties (crazy humidity and fog the first year; hot and extra windy last year; super humid and hot this year), but we make the best of it. Due to the heat the bike racing only lasted about 20 minutes and they weren’t really interested in the cake and ice cream. They all had a blast with the water fights, though! Oliver had fun and we enjoyed the simplicity of it all.

On your mark, get set....GO!!!!

Oliver requested a chocolate cake that looked like a bike wheel. I gave it my best!

Summertime fun

Oliver wasn't interested in the cake during the party, but devoured it once he cooled off inside afterwards!

The Other Four Parties

For the first time, Oliver’s preschool classmates opted to invite the entire class to their birthday parties. All three of the classmates’ parties indicated that parents could just drop the kids off or stick around. Of course they were also three days in row. The most recent party was for our neighbor and good friend, luckily a week after the first three. Here’s the breakdown:

Party #1: Thursday afternoon at Chuck E. Cheese (I left for a while but then came back to hang out for the last half. Oliver and I played a few games together!)

Party #2: Friday evening at Hy-Vee, where the kids got to make a personal pizza and decorate cupcakes (I stayed in the store and browsed. I GOT TO BROWSE!!).

I stopped by to see how it was going and Oliver got so excited to show me his cupcake. Note: after this photo was taken the jar of sprinkles made their way to Oliver....icing was never visible again!

Party #3: Saturday afternoon, a backyard party that included games and a huge bouncy house (Tony and I dropped him off and came back at the end…it was marvelous).

Party #4: Sunday afternoon, backyard party with a pool and cool Star Wars cake. The party went almost an hour after it was supposed to end, so I’d say the kids were having a good time.

Oliver has now seen the other side of birthday parties – exciting, big to-dos with lots of people. I am thankful that until now our simple home parties have sufficed…but I have a feeling all of that will change next year.

Up next: A big event this weekend will officially give Oliver a new Aunt! Tony’s brother, Mike, will be marrying Holly in a small family wedding on Saturday. The family is growing!

Happy 5th Birthday

Happy Birthday Oliver!

At long last it is July 7....and Oliver is now five years old! He has been waiting for this day since Christmas and is so excited it is here. When I say excited, I'm not joking. He was up at 2:40 this morning, unable to sleep -- finally dozing off again at 4:45 for a little "nap" before getting up to leave for the day. Here's a selfie from this morning. along with a photo of him goofing off:

To celebrate his birthday we had family over tonight for a pizza dinner, gift opening and birthday dessert. Oliver requested carrot cake (note: he refuses to eat carrots in any other form). Not just any carrot cake, and not the beautiful three layer carrot cake I've made before. He demanded requested the "exact same cake my friend from book club brought over that one time." Fortunately she was willing to share the recipe (thank you, Annette). 

The lego set he has been wishing for!!

Uh...what is this?

He gets such a kick out of these books!

A super big lego set!! Thanks Oma and Opa!

Tony made Oliver his very own portable lego table. What a special gift!

His requested carrot cake, still in the pan (per his instructions). Very yummy!
Sorry that the candle is turned around...

I think tomorrow will feature playtime with lots of new toys...

On Sunday we will have a few of Oliver's neighborhood friends over to celebrate with a bike and water party -- bike races and games, cake and gifts, then cooling off with a variety of water-related activities. He set the guest list and theme, and even picked out the cake: a homemade chocolate cake that looks like a bike wheel. Such a cutie!

One thing is for certain: I don't take these birthdays for granted. Having the opportunity to celebrate his birthday is such a gift (even if it means being exhausted from a sleepless night). While I never forget how he joined our family or the first part of his life in Korea, birthdays and holidays bring it to the forefront of my mind. I am thankful beyond words that I get to be his mom. I pray that his birth mother and foster mother are healthy and full of joy. That his foster family remember him on this day and enjoy warm, funny memories without too much sorrow. And I thank God for bringing Oliver, born Chae Ha Lim, into the world and into our home. 

Happy birthday to my amazing, smart, funny, handsome boy.

Is He Breathing? And Happy Fourth!

Ok, here's the truth: this post has been started and stalled numerous times. Now it has to cover multiple topics (sorry!) ... been living life in the busy lane here.

Is he breathing?

That's the question Tony and I have been asking ourselves every night since Oliver's surgery. It has been nearly one month since Oliver had his tonsils and adenoids removed and *wow* -- it has changed his nighttime breathing dramatically! He went from a snoring machine / heavy breather to being so still and quiet we regularly check to be sure he is, in fact, still breathing.

Pretty amazing. Night time breathing aside, he seems to be fully recovered. I'm sure there is still a little healing going on back there, but he isn't in pain and he's enjoying all the crunchy and hard foods he couldn't have during his recovery. 

His recovery was full of ups and downs -- as expected. There was the "wonderful" 2:30 am wake up morning that I won't forget anytime soon, lots of refusals to eat or drink (a common issue when he doesn't feel well), and approximately 20 viewings of the Angry Birds mini episodes blu-ray. Here are a few moments to share:

Not done!!
Apparently he wasn't quite ready for me to clean those cake batter bowls.

A gift from Nana: a lego set Oliver didn't think was for sale yet. Score!

Said lego fully assembled, mostly by myself (for 7 and older). But Oliver was loving everyone moment!
When did legos get so scary?!

Happy Fourth!
Oliver enjoyed celebrating America's birthday this weekend -- so did we. It was a busy and full weekend. So busy, and focused on enjoying the moment, I didn't really capture it on film. A few highlights though:
- Friday night painting party: painted the new outdoor shed....a color that is darker than we meant it to be (painting party #2 coming soon).
- A night away at a waterpark hotel just north of us. Oliver had a blast playing in the waterpark and the family activity area. He also liked having his own big bed (a pullout). Tony won with this last minute getaway!
- Outlet mall shopping
- Hunting for and finding a caterpillar egg on a milkweed leaf; now we wait
- Fireworks on the driveway
- Grilling two nights in a row
- Playing in the sprinkler, water table and sand box. I did get a picture of that lovely (and messy) combo:

Making sand pants....also filled his hair with sand. Not so easy to get out!

Now that the holiday weekend is over we are getting ready for Oliver's 5th birthday. Oliver has been with our family longer than he lived in Korea, but getting to celebrate his birthday with him HERE is something I cherish. The two birthdays we celebrated without him were bittersweet; now they are just sweet...and crazy!

To celebrate we will have family over on the big day (Thursday) and a small friend party on Sunday. Oliver requested a party with just the neighbor kids and wants a bike theme -- bike races, a cake that looks like a bike wheel, and we will cool off with the slip n' slide and maybe water balloons. Should be a blast!

Two Big Days

Day One: Last Day of Preschool / First Day as a Kindergartner
We had a wonderful, exciting, emotional day on Wednesday as we celebrated the last day of school for Oliver -- and his official move forward to kindergarten. The day began with chocolate chip pancakes (guess who picked that!) and a few before school photos:

At 11:00 Tony, Oma, Opa (who took time from work to come for the party) and I had the opportunity to spend some time with Oliver and his class as they celebrated the year. The kids sang songs....during which I may have been seen wiping tears away as the kids sang about how ready they were for kindergarten. We saw a fun slide show and then each child received a certificate from their teachers. 

We ended the party with snacks and a photo booth. I think this is my new favorite picture:

Oma and Opa got in on the fun too:

The day of celebration continued with lunch at one of Oliver's favorite places, a trip to the toy store, play time at the park with his classmates, ice cream at our local ice cream shop, play time with the neighbors, another favorite pick for dinner and a late bedtime. Whew, what a day!

Day Two: The Not-So-Fun Way to Kick Off Summer Break
After a day filled with fun, all sorts of favorite foods and treats, and a late bedtime, Day Two was a day we were all dreading. Thursday morning found Oliver wide awake at 5 am, wanting to open a toy we bought the day before. The toy was meant to help provide distraction from the fact that Oliver wasn't going to be allowed to eat or drink and that we would be heading to the hospital for an afternoon tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy. He was a trooper all morning, not once complaining about being hungry and not even whining.

We arrived at the hospital around noon and were brought back to his room at about 12:30. He and Otter both got into their special jammies and got to watch a little TV while we waited for the doctor. We were so impressed with Oliver. He was calm, brave, loving and funny. 

Tony and I were with him when he feel asleep, then just had to sit. And wait. And wait. Finally after what felt like forever, the doctor came in to tell us that the surgery went well, that we had made a good decision in getting them removed, and that Oliver would be in once he had woken up in recovery. Then we waited and waited...and waited some more.

Finally, they brought in a disoriented and scared Oliver. They had given him some more medication in the recovery room, so he fell asleep pretty quickly. He probably slept for another hour before the nurse was able to get him to wake up some.

Once awake, we hung out for a while, waiting for his tummy to settle. We finally headed for home just before 7:00. Oliver was an awesome wheelchair driver and was such a sweet patient. The nurse was amazing as well. I don't think we could have asked for a better experience.

Oliver slept on the way home and kept sleeping on the couch once we got home. We finally work him up just before 10:00 so we could give him his medication. We were up until about midnight, then back up again at 5:30 this morning. Recovery so far is about what you'd expect -- painful but at least he isn't too sick from the anesthesia. He's a stubborn one when it comes to drinking or eating or enjoying cold treats when he has a sore throat, so keeping him hydrated is going to be tough. But after two big days, looks like a lot of couch time is in our near future.

I hope your summer vacations are off to a better start! Soon enough Oliver will be enjoying his -- and hopefully will be feeling better overall once he's fully healed. 

Two More Months!

Scene: Sunday morning, snuggled in bed. Tony is fast asleep, Oliver is waking.

Me: Good morning sweetie. Guess what today is?
Oliver: What?
Me: It's a new month today -- it's now May.
Oliver: (excited) Two more months!
Me: What are you talking about?
Oliver: Two more months until my birthday! I want a Halloween party...

Oh man. Can you tell someone is (and has been) excited for their upcoming birthday...that is still more than two months away!? He's been asking for a Halloween themed birthday party for a couple of months now. Something spooky. He wants to be sure he can bob for apples (like in Curious George's Boofest cartoon), too. What a kid!

Well, it's been over a month since I last posted. Naturally a lot has happened since then. Oliver continues to grow so fast we can barely keep up (and keep him in clothes that fit properly...really looking forward to shorts season). He's enjoying the Saturday morning Korean Heritage Program (we call it Korea School), swimming and Taekwondo. We celebrated his last year as a Cubbie in his AWANA program at church -- Oliver is beyond excited at being a Spark next year! We've been on his first school field trip, seen the play "I Love You, Stinky Face" and enjoyed our first visit to the local ice cream shop. 

For those itching to see a few pictures, here you go!

Two handsome guys Easter morning

We went to our local rec center to see an ice show called "Frozen." What we didn't realize: it was a series of recitals by local ice skating classes, not a true ice show.  Oliver lasted about 40 minutes, but we still had fun!

Silly boy in a tunnel at the playground

Oliver's first school field trip to Coon Rapids Dam was a success!

Every so often Tony and I get to do grown up things. Here is a selfie we sent Oliver while waiting for Mumford and Sons to take the stage. We had a great time!

After the play ended Oliver got a chance to see the characters. His favorite was the dinosaur.

Our local police station held an open house. Naturally the kids were quite curious about the jail and thought it was fun to go inside a cell. Praying he never winds up in a cell for any other reason! 

Cubbies award time!

One of the reasons for the delay in posting (beside the usual busy schedule and minimal personal computer time) is that I've been...struggling. Big time. Since at least August I have had far more down times than up (even though I know God doesn't want this for me, I know my life is blessed, my family is a blessing and Oliver brings a massive amount of joy!). 

For those of you who have known me for a long time, you know depression is something I've dealt with over the years. Using exercise and other tools, and occasionally seeking help when there's a specific issue, I've managed to come out on top.

This time around, I'm just worn out. The down times aren't usually fueled by a specific something. Rather it's a more general "failing across all aspects of my life" kind of thing. Not being the mother I want to be, the wife Tony deserves, the person God wishes me to be. Unsure of what I should be doing career wise. Making poor choices with my physical health (and not feeling well much of the time). Lacking conviction and motivation to make better choices, too. Often feeling exhausted, confused, unable to focus, short tempered...a ball of fun to be around, right?!

I don't have the fight in me to claw my way to the top, nor do I have the clarity to determine the right course or the motivation to get myself there. Some mornings I wake up feeling as though I've been hit by a truck...physically and emotionally. And for seemingly no reason. 

With that, I have finally decided to reach out for help. I pray that the person I meet with tonight is a good fit. I pray that she will have Godly insight into how I should move forward, even if she isn't herself a christian (I am not going through a christian counseling organization). I am thankful for the patience Tony has shown me, and the grace Oliver has given me. But I know it may still be awhile before I start to feel better. In the meantime, prayers are appreciated. And I will try to be better at posting the fun times we have with Oliver, as they are many.  

2029

Tonight we attended Kindergarten Orientation for Oliver's fall class. He was so excited to see his new school (perhaps in part because he will likely get to take the bus at least one way)! The four kindergarten teachers were there and we had the opportunity to meet two of them -- both were very nice. 

I know all parents have the "how did he get so old so fast" moments and this was certainly one for me. I had to hold back tears a number of times (entering the building, seeing 2029 on his packet, etc.). I am holding them back even now!

This ball of energy whose clothes keep getting too small, whose hair is crazy because he is apparently old enough to decide that he wants to grow it "long like Mommy's", who was throwing big words like elementary school around in the car on the way over...just yesterday it seems like we were meeting for the first time. Unable to verbally communicate. He still took bottles at night (and the morning) and was in diapers. And now he's getting ready to be a full time student. For the next 13 (and hopefully more) years. Oh my...the parenting journey continues!

This is my new school!!

A Day in the Life...

Otter is Oliver's special stuffed animal, the one who has gone on many car rides, visited school in Pajama day and is usually found next to Oliver in bed at night. On Friday Oliver decided that Otter should join me at the office while he had a special day with Daddy. Throughout the day I sent them updates on Oliver's day at work. When I got home, Oliver made sure that I had taken good care of Otter throughout the day, then snuggled Otter because he had missed him.

A Day in the Life of Otter at Work

We arrive early to the office, only one co-worker is in. Mom's "desk" is a bit cluttered...this isn't nearly as nice as her last place! But the co-worker is sweet and Mom does have two computer screens...I guess we should get to work.

Time to check out the lab. Mom didn't take a picture of her company's product in use in case there were any proprietary things that shouldn't be shared publicly, but I thought the whole space was super cool. Oliver would love it! Which reminds me...I sort of miss him.

Lunch time selfie! So glad for the break, it's been a busy morning.

This place has a snack table! Yum! Mom, can we can one of these at home??

I'm wiped out. What a day! I'm all bundled up and ready for the drive home. I can't wait to see Oliver!

---

Meanwhile: A Day in the Life of Oliver and Daddy

The morning started off with a little silly time before preschool. This photo is just for Mom!

I had a great day at school so Dad offered me my choice for lunch. Chuck E Cheese it is! So many rides. So much fun!

Look at me! Playing games with Dad, who is having a blast too. This.Is.The.Best.Ever!

Mom and Dad left after dinner for small group, but Sydney came over to play. She snapped this picture of my hanging out playing trucks. What a day! I love it when I get special time with Dad!