Home & More Photos

Tony and I made it home safely and without delay on Sunday. We left Japan at 3:30 pm Sunday and, after about 12 hours in the air, landed in Minneapolis at 11:00 am Sunday. Neither of us slept on the plane and we both tried to stay awake until a reasonable bed time, meaning we were up for about 30 hours. Yuck! We both worked Monday so we jumped right into the thick of things. Unfortunately I woke up sick Tuesday morning (and thanks to a heavy work load at the office and a few comments from the boss about the difficulty of my absence, no opportunity to stay home). Between jet lag, illness, thanksgiving travel and more...I am only now able to sit down and post a few more photos from our stay.

So, let's go back in time...back to Korea. Now that we are home I have better access to the photos Tony took, so we will begin with a few pictures from our first meeting with Oliver:

That's me, photo bombing my own son!

So happy we had interactive time during our first meeting.

The elephant backpack was a hit! He didn't want to leave it with us. He is so cute.

And our second meeting:

We played in-and-out, in-and-out of the car quite a bit.

A little Daddy and Oliver time

When we weren't visiting with Oliver or going to court, we were able to play tourist. We made our way to a number of areas of Seoul, mostly via the subway. Seoul is a massive city, and a beautiful combination of old and new. We would be walking down a multi-lane, busy street lined with tall modern skyscrapers and boom -- there's a temple. Amid the modern, there's the historic and traditional with cars driving by and all. What a sight! In general the people were friendly and the city was reasonably clean and safe. English was not a common second language, but for the most part we managed okay. Here are just a few photos from our trips around the city:

This temple compound was very large, and just on the edge of a bustling business district.
The mountains are in the background. 

Part of the same temple compound. Beautiful and peaceful.

The North Seoul Tower sits on top of a mountain right in the middle of the city.
We didn't go up into the tower, but from the area around the tower you can see a vast amount of the city.
 It was a great spot to get an idea of just how large the city is. 

A view from the top

Tony and I had a lovely Thanksgiving with family. Unfortunately we have not yet heard any update on our family's case, so we are still waiting for initial approval. Given the holiday and now the weekend, we are hopeful for news early next week. In the meantime we are both looking to start feeling 100% again -- jet lag for both of us, and for me this cold that doesn't want to ease up.

I hope you have all enjoyed Thanksgiving and are having a wonderful weekend!

Eating in Korea

When Tony and I travel we always enjoy trying some of the local foods. Actually, one of my favorite things to do in a new country is visit the local grocery store. I find it fascinating! Heading to Korea, however, I was pretty nervous about what foods we would be eating. While I do like to try new foods, I also prefer to “play it safe” and eat things that I can identify, etc.  In many Asian cultures, the foods are less identifiable, at least to my Midwestern USA eyes.

I have been to a couple of Korean restaurants in the US and Tony’s family sometimes makes Korean food, so I am familiar with a few basis such as Bulgogi, Bibimbap, Japchae and Mandu. My goal for this trip was to keep an open mind and to try street food – a very common thing here, especially in the evenings. So, here are a few things I tried (I’m sorry that I don’t have photos of these, though I am sure an internet search will turn up plenty):

Bibimbap: I got to try this a few times, both in the hot stone bowl (dolsot bibimbap) and without. It is basically a rice dish with a small amount of meat and a variety of vegetables, with a spicy red pepper paste on top. I prefer the stone bowl version as the rice gets crispy and there is a soft egg on top that mixes with the spicy red pepper paste nicely.  Very similar to what I’ve had in the US and one of the easy introductions to Korean cuisine.

Bulgogi: We had this twice – once where it was made and served for us, and once where we cooked it at the table. The meat is sliced extremely thin, thinner than I’ve seen in the US. In general I find it kind of bland. They don’t marinate it in any seasonings, but rather you are to eat it with the assorted kimchi sides (and since I can’t stand kimchi, I end up eating it plain). It was fun to cook it up on our table though, and again it’s an easy introduction to Korean food.

Makgeolli: this is an alcoholic drink, similar to beer or soda. Sweet, bubbly and easy to drink. I think it’s pretty yummy, and apparently it has some health benefits to it (minerals, fibers and active enzymes). Yum!

Soju: this is a must try and a very common drink among Koreans. A bottle of soju is cheaper than soda or water! It has a higher alcohol content than beer or wine, but less than hard alcohol. Unfortunately it doesn’t have much flavor and while I don’t mind it, I don’t love it.

Koong Joong Tteokpoki: Served on a portable burner in a large pot, it is a braised dish of sliced rice cakes, meat/seafood, egg and seasonings like chili (spicy) or bean (more savory) paste. There is also a common version served as street food without all of the meat and seafood. This is where eating gets more adventurous! There are fish cakes, squid (with the little suckers), mussels and more. I ate it all except the mussels, since I don’t care for them and there weren’t too many too go around. Interesting and I know I could eat it again if needed – though I think I liked the bean paste more than the chili paste.

Saengseon Gui: grilled fish, in this case mackerel. Not a big fish fan, but this was decent. It comes as a whole fish, sliced in half. So you pick the meat away from the bones, dip it into a sauce and eat it (all with chopsticks, of course!).

Haemul Pajeon: a form of the Korean pancake made with egg, flour and green onion. Seafood was added to the one we tried. I didn’t love the seafood, but the rest was very tasty.

Mandu: we had several varieties – steamed and fried, filled with a variety of things. Pretty yummy!

Bungeo-bbang: street food! And so very yummy, I could eat these all the time. Fried bread (chewy and a bit sweet) filled with sweet red bean paste and shaped like a carp. Served warm. Perfect for a dessert girl like me! And you can get 3 good sized fish for 1,000 won ($1).

Toast: another street food and another “five star” rating from me. These are little pieces of a sweet chewy bread with an egg in the middle (cooked). Served warm the savory from the egg and the sweet from the bread are a great combo. Also very warming on a cold night. One toast is 1,000 won and they are sold at the same stands as the bungeo-bbang.

We’ve also tried some snacks (no idea what they are; sold like chips in the convenience store), buns (dough filled with meats or sweets), soups (served with meals and I have no idea what they are), tofu (part of the food tour….and it was just regular tofu) and more. We also tried McDonalds and Burger King – both have a bulgogi burger that Tony really likes. Seoul has a lot of fast food restaurants with menus similar but different to what we have in the US. There are also so many coffee shops. You can easily see 5 shops in one building with 3 of them being coffee shops. Coffee is a bit more expensive here, but on par with what we are used to.

While I was nervous about eating here in Seoul (and we did avoid many places without a menu in English), I have found several things I enjoy. Maybe now I will feel more comfortable looking through the Korean cook books I have at home! Now we are off to the airport. Tony is excited to check it out – apparently it’s one of the top airports in the world (with a golf course, movie theater and more AT the airport!). Now it is on to Japan for our overnight, then back to Minnesota.

Court & a General Update

Our Court Appointment

First, thank you to all who have been sending us prayers and kind notes about today. We really appreciate them! When we landed in Los Angeles we learned from our US agency that we were assigned to the more strict judge, the one who has been known to be so thorough as to slow down the process for many families. We didn't know how strict he would be in person, so we've been a bit worried as we've waited for today to come.

This morning we woke up, dressed up and headed downstairs to meet the five other families going to court today. It took nearly an hour in traffic to get to the court house, then we sat in the hall and waited our turn. Surprisingly, Tony was pretty nervous all morning but I wasn't too bad. We did manage to get a photo of us waiting to go in (ignore my crazy hair -- it was promptly fixed after I saw the photo!).

When our turn came, we were called into the room and sat on one side of a long table. Our social worker served as a translator and sat next to us. The Judge was in the front of the room behind a large desk. He seemed friendly and asked us the following questions:

1. Mostly to Tony: Do you speak Korean?

2. Both: Explain what you do for your job in detail.

3. Me: Do you plan to work after you bring the child home? If so, who will take care of him?

4. Tony: How severe is your asthma and when do you have problems with it?

5. Both: How do we resolve conflicts in our marriage?

6. Both, a follow up: When compromise doesn't work, how do we solve conflicts or come to an agreement? (this was a hard one for our social worker to translate; I have a feeling he didn't really get an answer)

7. Have we met our child and how did we feel when we met him.

8. Any final statement for the court?

It took all of 10 minutes, including the difficulty in translation. After we were all done with court, we headed out for a traditional Korean BBQ lunch and a bit of relaxing. 

I know everyone is curious about "what's next" so here is a summary of what should happen:

1. In the next few business days the Judge will issue Initial Approval. When he issues this, a letter is sent to ESWS (the Korean agency), who will then let CHSFS (the US agency) know. We should at that point know if we are in the 14 day wait or if the judge is taking additional action (i.e., recontacting the birth mother) first.

2. There is then a 14 day wait, which is part of the legal system here. So, depending on when Initial Approval is given AND whether the judge is taking additional steps, we could begin our 14 days as early as sometime next week, or it may be an extra week or two.

3. At the end of the 14 days, the judge issues Final Approval. Again, the approval is mailed to ESWS who then contacts CHSFS, so this could take a few days. 

4. CHSFS calls or emails us to tell us we have Final Approval -- and we book our return trip!

As you can see, we don't have a solid idea of how long this will take. We don't know if we will be back in Korea before the holidays, during the holidays or after. We are officially back in the waiting game. However, we are hopeful that the judge will move things along quickly.

A General Update

Our time in Korea has been pretty good. Cold and windy, but otherwise good (and whatever bug I had eased up on Wednesday, so I was thankful for that).  It's a very busy city, with many places open from 10 or 10:30 am until 4 or 4:30 am. Overall it feels safe and most of the areas are clean and well lit. I would never want to drive here, though. Driving seems as crazy or more crazy than New York.

Tony has mastered the subway system, of course! We've also done a lot of walking, shopping (because it's inside) and a bit of sight seeing. One evening we went on a food tour with another couple here to adopt, a mother and daughter that stayed on our floor, and another women here on vacation. We had fun checking out traditional Korean restaurants, wondering through back alleys we would never have found by ourselves, trying a variety of foods we probably wouldn't have tried on our own, and enjoying some of the typical Korean adult beverages. I don't have time to post on all of that now, but here's a photo of our group:

We were also blessed to meet two lovely families staying on the floor with us (including the mother and daughter who came on the food tour). They flew home this morning and I have to admit, the floor is very quiet now. It feels a little lonely! I am so glad we got to know them. 

Tonight we are heading to the North Seoul Tower to check out the city lights, and tomorrow we fly out to Narita for our overnight in Japan (and probably a bit of sushi). There is of course much more I could post, but I'm running out of steam and need to wrap up.  As with most travels, we are looking forward to being back home, back in our own bed, etc. It's strange to leave a place so far from home knowing we will be back soon. 

Our Second Meeting Plus More Photos from the First

Let me start by saying wow....I am so glad I finally got some sleep! Tony and I have been trying to follow the time change rule and have been trying to go to bed at a regular time. Unfortunately I have trouble falling asleep, and we both can't seem to stay asleep. Last night we went to bed just after 10:30 and we managed to fall back asleep after waking up during the night. We didn't get up until 7! Feeling a bit refreshed.

So, it's 7:30 am and nothing here is open yet. Seoul is more of a night city than a morning city, with the nearby Dunkin Donuts being the only restaurant that opens before 8:00 or 9:00. I'm doing a load of laundry (and hoping it turns out. No idea which was the detergent, no idea which of the three slots you put it in....so I put a little in each. No idea how much to use and only a minimal idea of what setting we are washing on!). Drinking the instant coffee and thought I would post a few photos.

Here are a couple of photos from our first meeting that the social worker took. Our first family pictures!

We have learned that when someone takes a picture, he puts his fingers up like this to say "take a picture"

This photo was taken very early in the first meeting. He was just beginning to warm to us.

Yesterday we had some time to explore Seoul before our second meeting. We were up by 4:45 and both really tired, so our adventures began early but groggy. Unfortunately some of the places we planned to visit had listed their hours of operation incorrectly. We arrived and found ourselves with nothing open. But don't worry! The local Costco opens at 8:00 a.m.!! So, on to Costco we went. Tony was pretty excited to check it out. Overall it was similar to ours (though two levels instead of one huge level). Of course some food items are different, but many are the same. They did have a much larger meat section, small liquor section and far more sample stations than I've seen before. We tried their version of pizza (similar but not the same) and a bulgolgi bake in the cafe as well. We didn't buy anything -- hard to lug a Costco sized item around on the subway. But, it was fun to check out both the Costco and another neighborhood.

Our second meeting was at 2:00. We got into the elevator to go down to the first floor, but someone else on board had selected a stop on the third floor. When it opened, Oliver was in the waiting area -- and he recognized us! It was hard not to jump out right then! When we did get back up to see him, we went into a different play room that had a bunch of toys. Our second meeting didn't go as smoothly as our first. To start, he was all over. Literally. He went from toy to toy to toy, never stopping and never wanting to play. He tried to climb on top of a big car (very dangerous) and would not be deterred. He was being very willful and was not as interested in us this time. Honestly, after 20 minutes we were both exhausted!

He did settle down for a few minutes here and there so we could interact with him more directly. He also hit and punched me in the face, threw a full on temper tantrum, ran away from us and would not listen to anyone -- us, the social worker or his foster mom. Overall it was a difficult visit and one that left Tony and I feeling more "uh oh" than "how sweet!". We did get kisses and hugs at the end, but boy are we going to have our hands full. Here are a few photos from the meeting.

He knows how to use the iPhone -- how to select pictures, move between them and enlarge them. Here he is demanding we give him my phone. He was stomping around with his hand up trying to get it.

And here he is still demanding it, getting more and more upset that we aren't giving in.
We can tell he's used to getting things this way.

A moment of quiet interaction. Didn't last long, but it was nice to play with him!

Today we are doing laundry and then going to see one of the temples and some of the historic areas of Seoul.  Tonight we are doing a "Korean Nights" food tour with a few folks that should be fun. Tomorrow we also have the full day to do as we wish. Friday we have our court appointment. We learned that we have the strict judge that often slows the entire process down by weeks and weeks. We are praying that our case is not one of those. 

The Moment

Each parent is blessed with the opportunity of meeting their child for the first time. Regardless of how the child came to be a part of the family, there is that moment when you first lay eyes on them or first feel their skin against yours. For Tony and I, that moment happened today at approximately 9:55 a.m. 

Before I get to the moment, let me talk a bit about getting ready for the big meeting. As previously posted, we brought many gifts with us. Luckily they all fit in our luggage and they made the trip without breaking, leaking or crushing. We got them bagged and ready to go, along with Oliver's elephant back pack full of toys, snacks and more.

Our meeting was scheduled to begin with paperwork at 9:30. Since we were conducting official agency business, we were instructed to dress nicely but in something we could get on the floor and play around in. For this meeting I decided to wear a necklace from my Grandma Ev; we also brought a beanie baby that was given to my during college from my Grams, so both of my grandmother's were part of the big day. 

There are two wonderful, warm and caring families staying on the same floor as us, and one of the women kindly snapped a photo of us just before we went downstairs. Every second that went by brought more anxiety and excitement, and this photo was taken a mere 5 minutes before we met our social worker at Eastern Social Welfare Society. Here we are, one final photo of us before this whole parenthood thing becomes even more real!

We were greeted in the office by Mrs. Shin, who has worked with Oliver and his foster mother since he was first placed in her care. She is a sweet, kind and patient woman and we are so glad to have her involved in Oliver's life. After completing the visa paperwork, we were taken upstairs for the big meeting. We were running a bit ahead of schedule and didn't know they were already here. As the elevator doors opened onto the third floor we saw a woman and child sitting on the couch in the common area. Both faces we had seen countless times before, now here in the flesh. Immediately, his foster mother "introduced" us as Umma and Appa (Mommy and Daddy in Korean), though he didn't react to us much and just wanted to get down and run around. So our moment occurred in the common area of the third floor at Easter Social Welfare Society as we stepped off an elevator. Unexpected, but very welcomed!

We expected him to be timid of us at first, and he was. As much as we wanted to scoop him up and cuddle him, we held back and just stayed near him. The two big ice breakers were stickers and bubbles. He started with the stickers, putting them on his foster mom's face. She was wonderful and kept encouraging him to stick them on us (she encouraged him throughout the meeting to go to us, to play with us, etc.). Once we brought out the bubbles he really starting warming up to us. Here's a very cute photo of him blowing bubbles (in the background you can see his social worker, Mrs. Shin).

Mastering the Art of Blowing Bubbles

Overall, the time together was amazing. I haven't done the meeting justice here, but truthfully I am still a bit under the weather and it's very late here. I'm going to summarize the rest of the meeting and sign off with photos.We get to see him tomorrow for a second (and final) visit. I promise to share more detailed thoughts and emotions in another post soon.

During the meeting we:

- Played more bubbles

- Chewed gum he gave us (should a 28 month old really be chewing gum??)

- Ate the peanut cookie he fed us

- Held him on our laps

- Picked him up

- Were given hugs and kisses...multiple times! (**melted my heart)

- Read a book

- Played with more bubbles

- Rolled a ball, a truck and a car back and forth

- realized how exhausting a toddler is going to be and how willful he is! 

Tony and I are both so happy to finally meet him. I can't wait to see him tomorrow! For now, it's off to bed. Here are the final pictures for tonight. 

Bubbles were a big hit. Thank you Kate for having an extra bottle on hand!

On Our Way

Yesterday morning we boarded our flight to Los Angeles. The first leg of this once in a lifetime journey. The flight was, thankfully, uneventful. Here's a photo of us getting ready to board:

Please excuse the photos I post while away. I'm using my phone and have limited editing options! Anyway, we were happy to get to spend time with my brother while in Los Angeles. He was an excellent tour guide! We saw Santa Monica beach, Rodeo Drive, and a few fun neighborhoods. It was so much fun seeing him!

Now we are waiting to board our flight to Seoul. Middle seats for nearly 14 hours. Possible migraine thanks to the two adult beverages I had last night (2 in several hours, so it's frustrating that my head is being awful today). But in the end we will be on Seuol. And we will be meetng Oliver. Please pray for a safe journey and that we arrive feeling healthy!

A Final Set

Today we received the final set of photos before meeting Oliver. For some reason we were only sent two photos, both taken on November 7th. I'll admit, knowing we get to meet him face to face in the matter of days made this update less exciting than normal. And while we are on the subject of meeting him, we'll be laying eyes on him in 5 days and 5 hours, or 125 hours. Eek!

So, here are the final photos....the last ones before we know what his voice sounds like. Before we know how big (or small) he is compared to us. Before we see that full head of hair for ourselves. Before our family grows.

28 Months

One Week

Sunday, November 17th, 7:00 pm in Minnesota = Monday, November 18th, 10:00 am in Seoul.
One week.
In one week we will be playing with Oliver for the first time. After waiting so long to meet him, it's hard to believe that this is really happening.

What else is hard to believe? That we will be able to fit everything we need to bring in our luggage. Thanks to Delta's poor customer service, we only get one checked bag each (with the second bag costing a whopping $100 each way. Ouch!). It isn't that I want to bring two checked bags, but with all of the gifts and dress clothes we need to take with us I was hoping that we had the option of a second bag. So, let's just say packing will be interesting!

This weekend I also bought a suit -- my first ever. Honestly, it probably isn't the suit I would have bought for myself had I taken the time to shop for it over the summer. I would have liked something a little nicer, better fitting, etc. But, it get the job done and looks decent enough without any added tailoring. Seeing that we leave Friday morning, and that I never took the time before this past weekend to even glance at suits, I'm happy to have that checked off the to-do list.

So, gifts are done (duty-free booze aside), letters are translated and pasted into cards, travel items have been bought, we both have suits to wear to court. Let the packing begin!

Gifts, Procrastination and Plans

Just over one week ago we were issued our court date, and in less than two weeks we will meet Oliver for the first time. Tony and I are very excited! We are also very busy preparing for the trip. 

While I am not a procrastinator by nature, I will admit that I have put off doing nearly all things related to the adoption (except for the paperwork, which always seems to be needed "ASAP" and, as it turns out, is something I'm especially good at doing). I simply couldn't bring myself to purchase cute items for Oliver's room, shop for an outfit to wear to court, buy the gifts we would be needing on this first trip. Truthfully, it was emotionally painful to be actively preparing for something that could, in reality, never come to fruition. Thanks to good old facebook I have often been reminded that I am way behind what all of the other parents are doing (thanks, social media!). 

Now the time has come and I am paying the price for my previous procrastination. One area that has been particularly stressful is the gift giving. In Korean culture gift giving is an important component of social interaction and showing respect and appreciation. Our agency provided us with some suggestions, but it's still a challenge to know what the right gift will be for everyone. In addition, how can we adequately express our appreciation with material items? After much hemming and hawing, shopping and googling, we are pretty much done. I just hope we have chosen wisely!

For the Foster Family, we have put together a mix of items: a Coach Purse and a Lancome Gift Set for the Foster Mother; Twins Hats and a bottle of bourbon or whiskey (to be purchased duty-free at the airport) for the Foster Dad and Brother; and some gifts for the family -- a jar of local honey, a box of Godiva mixed chocolates, a bottle of Centrum Silver, Pistachios and mixed nuts (we have been told nuts are expensive in Korea and that they make a good gift). In addition we have a letter translated that we will paste into the card.

Gift for the foster family

For the Social Worker we have the same Lancome Gift Set as we are giving to the Foster Mom, a scented candle and a box of Godiva mixed chocolates. We will also paste a letter into the card.




For the Agency Staff we are bringing an assortment of office supplies, instant Starbucks coffee and a big bin of biscotti. 

*must refrain from eating the biscotti myself!

Finally, the easiest gift is the donation to the Agency along with a letter (translated) of thanks to the director. 

Whew! Now, fitting all of this in our luggage is going to be a challenge. I have absolutely no idea how we are going to make it all work! Good thing the guest house has a washer and dryer, I may not be able to fit very many clothes!

Now that the gifts are pretty much done, it's on to other details that need to be worked out. I don't know how much planning Tony and I can do before we arrive in Korea. I know we will have some time to be tourists, but we are unsure of when we will need to be available for Agency business (i.e., meeting with the Director, having lunch with the agency, possibly seeing Oliver a second time, etc.). I do know that I will in fact get to see my brother while we are in LA (yeah!), and I'm looking forward to that. We have some shopping to do for ourselves (many women wear suits to court -- I should have shopped for one a long time ago; we need a few travel-related items, etc.). And we are still working to get things settled in our newly carpeted house. So the Meyers' home is a busy place!

Before I sign off for the day, please know that Tony and I won't be posting anything about our trip on Facebook -- and it is doubtful that we will have the opportunity to put together nice email updates for everyone. I will try to update the blog if time allows, so check here for updates while we are away. Thanks!