U.S. Embassy

Oliver has been with us for over 3 days now. We are most certainly in survival mode, and most parents of toddlers would probably have a lot of laughs at our attempt at parenting! We are truly winging it here...and I can't tell you how badly I wish we at least spoke the same language. Sometimes he just gets so frustrated at us because we can't make out what he's saying. It has to be so hard for him. 

Speaking of hard for him, sleeping is probably the time when he mourns the most, usually ending in a tantrum and then sleep. Last night there wasn't a tantrum, but it was even worse as he was just sad and confused and angry (and up until after midnight). So hard. Luckily he just fell asleep for his daily nap without a tantrum or any real fussing! Yeah!!

The first two nights bath time was something he wanted and was excited for. Yesterday we hit the "kiddie" pool, which wasn't as shallow as we would have liked. But, with limited opportunity to help him burn off energy, we figured we'd try it (holding on to him, etc.). He did slip once and got water in his face a few times when he wasn't expecting it. Not sure if that's what changed bath time, but he refused both last night and again this morning. Tonight he's taking a bath no matter what, but we have been trying so hard to be careful of our battles -- we desperately need to build trust, so if he's afraid and we force it, not sure how that will impact our relationship. I guess we will find out.

Today was our U.S. Embassy visit. I won't even start on how our morning went, how long everything takes us, how when Tony suggested running some errands early this morning I panicked and asked him to wait (I don't know how to feed Oliver and I, take my shower and get ready, get Oliver ready and get all of us ready for the embassy by myself!), etc. Bottom line -- we made it to our appointment on time! We got to go to the front of the long line, turn in our cell phones and head upstairs. Oliver was so full of energy he was all over the place in the waiting room! When our turn came we were asked to swear that our answers were truthful (regarding the online forms we completed on our last trip). Tony's fingerprint was taken. Then we "sat" back down (or ran around after a crazy two year old). In just under an hour we were all set! Our visa packet is in hand -- to be opened only by the U.S. officials when we land. We also have his passport! It's a Korean passport, but he will become a U.S. Citizen when the plane hits the ground. Yeah!

Apparently the crazy running around and multiple tantrums didn't deter us enough and we stopped for lunch at a Pork Cutlet and Curry place on our way home (we know he likes crispy meat and rice, and it seems easier to try to eat than soup or noodles served in soup). Our very first attempt at eating out! It went....okay. I honestly don't know how people do this. It was so hard, and tiring, and I basically inhaled what I thought was an okay amount of food while I tried to keep Oliver from getting out of control, out of the seat, or into something he shouldn't get into.

Oliver and I have been bonding pretty well. He and Tony are hot and cold. They have lots of fun times playing together, and sometimes Oliver will go to him for cuddles, kisses (po-pos), let Tony feed him, etc. But he also tends to literally push Tony away or refuse to let him feed, cuddle and kiss him. I'm sure in the long run it will all be okay, but Tony and I both expected that I'd be the one he pushed away. 

Anyway, nap time is only for another hour or so and I could use a minute of rest before we get back to it. And though we are now free to leave the country with Oliver, we are still going to stay through Christmas. A few more quieter days here will be nice, and while our Christmas here won't be much of anything special (I can't seem to find anything special to do, or to eat/cook), it will be nice to be together as a family. I'm pushing for us to try this Seoul Kids Museum tomorrow where they apparently have lots of fun things for kids of all ages -- we could use a new place to burn energy and it is good for Tony and I to try to get used to this whole going out with a kid thing. 

Off to rest! Hope you are all enjoying this wonderful Christmas week. While it doesn't feel like Christmas for us, we are certainly enjoying the best gift we could have asked for.

And Away We Go (aka The Craziest Thing I Think I've Ever Done)

I don't have any news to report on the Final Approval front -- we are still waiting to hear that the court has signed off on our case and that we are legally a family. 

I DO have news, however, on a big decision Tony and I have made.

....We are going to Korea anyway....

Crazy, right? 

• No Final Approval (yet). 
• No scheduled transfer of custody (our agency hasn't been able to coordinate our taking custody yet, which we can do before final approval is issued, so long as we sign a million forms!).
• No place to stay (yet; that's next on our list).
• No appointment at the U.S. Embassy for our Visa Interview.

But we are going anyway. Our hope (and request) is that we can take custody Friday, with our back up request being Monday, allowing us to be a family of 3 on Christmas!

What does that all mean? It means we leave TOMORROW. Yes, that's right. We booked our flights today and board our first leg for a 5:50 a.m. departure tomorrow. Our trek out there will be filled with stops (Denver, San Francisco, Narita (Japan) then Seoul) and will take us about 24 hours of traveling, plus the 15 hours time difference. We land in Seoul Thursday night. 

Thanks to Tony's talent using miles and points, we are flying first class (!) on United for the final 3 legs (including the long trip from CA to Japan). Not necessarily the itinerary we had hoped for, but out of pocket the flights are now about $4400 one way -- in economy -- and even then there's not much available. 'Tis the Season!

I can't say we are as ready as I'd like to be. Nor can I say that I'm comfortable with this crazy plan with absolutely nothing being certain. I'm a planner, after all! I like to have my ducks all in a row...perhaps this is the appropriate introduction to parenthood? :)

So, why the impulsive, very "unlike Tony and Tonya" decision? Why such short notice? 
Basically, we don't want to go any longer without Oliver as a part of our family. While I've been struggling with the ups and downs of this whole process, it has finally caught up to Tony too. Yesterday was brutal as we waited to hear...and heard nothing. He watched as flights kept filling. And we realized that if we didn't fly in the next few days, there would be no way to spend Christmas together. 

We're taking a risk. A pretty big one, actually. With how things have gone for our family during this process, who knows how long the judge will take issuing our final approval! But, we will just have to face the potential consequences when they come...if they come. 

If you are the praying type, please please please pray that all of the pieces fall into place. Specifically:

• All of our flights there go well and we don't miss any connections
• Custody transfer gets arranged and is either Friday (ideally) or Monday
• Final approval is issued this week
• Visa interview is early next week, or Thursday at the latest
• Our visa is issued on the spot and we are cleared to return home on our scheduled flight, Friday, Dec 27th.
• And of course pray for Oliver and his Foster Family. This will be a difficult time for them.

Okay. Well, I better get back to all that needs to be done before we leave! The house isn't ready....car seats aren't installed....packing is nearly done but not fully ready....etc. I will work to keep the blog updated as best I can.

I can't believe this is happening!! 

Update on Initial Approval

We heard back from our agency and it appears we are in the 14 day wait!! I am so relieved. I've been very worried that this final step would drag on and on. Of course our agency also said that while the official wait is 14 days, it is more like 3 weeks between learning of initial approval and hearing that we have received final approval. Bottom line...we will be with Oliver sometime yet this year. 

Of course we thought we'd be with him back in May...or June...or July (you get the idea). Never in my wildest dreams did I think we'd be up against the end of 2014 and still waiting. But the wait is nearly over!

Based on what needs to happen for our final trip, Tony and I will not be booking our flights until we receive the final approval and travel notificiation. At that time, we may leave within a couple of days, or we may find that we have to wait a bit longer in order to get a flight. We will have to wait and see.

So, good news here!

And, as I would hate to have a post with no photos, here are a couple of items we've picked up for Oliver. One we actually ordered on Amazon (after purchasing just the chopsticks in Korea -- left handed as we don't yet know if he is right or left handed (he's used both); now he will have a right and a left so all bases are covered).

Proro is a Korean cartoon; this is a training chopstick and spoon set with a carrying case.

A few toys we picked up on our first trip.
The set of small cars and figures on the left will likely be saved for a later date.

Initial Approval

We (finally) heard from our agency today and we have received initial approval from the court! Actually, we received initial approval on 11/28 (Thanksgiving), but our local agency was closed for the holiday. Now, before you get too excited and before you complete the "when do you leave" question, know this:
We do not know if we are in the 14 day wait OR if the Judge will be taking any additional steps before our case enters the 14 day wait.

That's right. Surprise surprise....we still don't know what's going on! At least we are used to living in the unknown. I'll update when we know more, but until then I will be incessantly checking my email. :)

In other news, the post-Korea cold went from bad to...well...bad. I'm glad we had the long weekend as I needed some quality time not moving around, hunkered under the blankets. However, I also needed to get a lot done in those four days! So, busy times ahead (and still trying to overcome this darn cold). I'd hate to leave on a sour note, though, so check out this handsome guy!

Dad is pushing Oliver on a little plane

We played a lot of in and out of the car.

Court & a General Update

Our Court Appointment

First, thank you to all who have been sending us prayers and kind notes about today. We really appreciate them! When we landed in Los Angeles we learned from our US agency that we were assigned to the more strict judge, the one who has been known to be so thorough as to slow down the process for many families. We didn't know how strict he would be in person, so we've been a bit worried as we've waited for today to come.

This morning we woke up, dressed up and headed downstairs to meet the five other families going to court today. It took nearly an hour in traffic to get to the court house, then we sat in the hall and waited our turn. Surprisingly, Tony was pretty nervous all morning but I wasn't too bad. We did manage to get a photo of us waiting to go in (ignore my crazy hair -- it was promptly fixed after I saw the photo!).

When our turn came, we were called into the room and sat on one side of a long table. Our social worker served as a translator and sat next to us. The Judge was in the front of the room behind a large desk. He seemed friendly and asked us the following questions:

1. Mostly to Tony: Do you speak Korean?

2. Both: Explain what you do for your job in detail.

3. Me: Do you plan to work after you bring the child home? If so, who will take care of him?

4. Tony: How severe is your asthma and when do you have problems with it?

5. Both: How do we resolve conflicts in our marriage?

6. Both, a follow up: When compromise doesn't work, how do we solve conflicts or come to an agreement? (this was a hard one for our social worker to translate; I have a feeling he didn't really get an answer)

7. Have we met our child and how did we feel when we met him.

8. Any final statement for the court?

It took all of 10 minutes, including the difficulty in translation. After we were all done with court, we headed out for a traditional Korean BBQ lunch and a bit of relaxing. 

I know everyone is curious about "what's next" so here is a summary of what should happen:

1. In the next few business days the Judge will issue Initial Approval. When he issues this, a letter is sent to ESWS (the Korean agency), who will then let CHSFS (the US agency) know. We should at that point know if we are in the 14 day wait or if the judge is taking additional action (i.e., recontacting the birth mother) first.

2. There is then a 14 day wait, which is part of the legal system here. So, depending on when Initial Approval is given AND whether the judge is taking additional steps, we could begin our 14 days as early as sometime next week, or it may be an extra week or two.

3. At the end of the 14 days, the judge issues Final Approval. Again, the approval is mailed to ESWS who then contacts CHSFS, so this could take a few days. 

4. CHSFS calls or emails us to tell us we have Final Approval -- and we book our return trip!

As you can see, we don't have a solid idea of how long this will take. We don't know if we will be back in Korea before the holidays, during the holidays or after. We are officially back in the waiting game. However, we are hopeful that the judge will move things along quickly.

A General Update

Our time in Korea has been pretty good. Cold and windy, but otherwise good (and whatever bug I had eased up on Wednesday, so I was thankful for that).  It's a very busy city, with many places open from 10 or 10:30 am until 4 or 4:30 am. Overall it feels safe and most of the areas are clean and well lit. I would never want to drive here, though. Driving seems as crazy or more crazy than New York.

Tony has mastered the subway system, of course! We've also done a lot of walking, shopping (because it's inside) and a bit of sight seeing. One evening we went on a food tour with another couple here to adopt, a mother and daughter that stayed on our floor, and another women here on vacation. We had fun checking out traditional Korean restaurants, wondering through back alleys we would never have found by ourselves, trying a variety of foods we probably wouldn't have tried on our own, and enjoying some of the typical Korean adult beverages. I don't have time to post on all of that now, but here's a photo of our group:

We were also blessed to meet two lovely families staying on the floor with us (including the mother and daughter who came on the food tour). They flew home this morning and I have to admit, the floor is very quiet now. It feels a little lonely! I am so glad we got to know them. 

Tonight we are heading to the North Seoul Tower to check out the city lights, and tomorrow we fly out to Narita for our overnight in Japan (and probably a bit of sushi). There is of course much more I could post, but I'm running out of steam and need to wrap up.  As with most travels, we are looking forward to being back home, back in our own bed, etc. It's strange to leave a place so far from home knowing we will be back soon. 

Our Second Meeting Plus More Photos from the First

Let me start by saying wow....I am so glad I finally got some sleep! Tony and I have been trying to follow the time change rule and have been trying to go to bed at a regular time. Unfortunately I have trouble falling asleep, and we both can't seem to stay asleep. Last night we went to bed just after 10:30 and we managed to fall back asleep after waking up during the night. We didn't get up until 7! Feeling a bit refreshed.

So, it's 7:30 am and nothing here is open yet. Seoul is more of a night city than a morning city, with the nearby Dunkin Donuts being the only restaurant that opens before 8:00 or 9:00. I'm doing a load of laundry (and hoping it turns out. No idea which was the detergent, no idea which of the three slots you put it in....so I put a little in each. No idea how much to use and only a minimal idea of what setting we are washing on!). Drinking the instant coffee and thought I would post a few photos.

Here are a couple of photos from our first meeting that the social worker took. Our first family pictures!

We have learned that when someone takes a picture, he puts his fingers up like this to say "take a picture"

This photo was taken very early in the first meeting. He was just beginning to warm to us.

Yesterday we had some time to explore Seoul before our second meeting. We were up by 4:45 and both really tired, so our adventures began early but groggy. Unfortunately some of the places we planned to visit had listed their hours of operation incorrectly. We arrived and found ourselves with nothing open. But don't worry! The local Costco opens at 8:00 a.m.!! So, on to Costco we went. Tony was pretty excited to check it out. Overall it was similar to ours (though two levels instead of one huge level). Of course some food items are different, but many are the same. They did have a much larger meat section, small liquor section and far more sample stations than I've seen before. We tried their version of pizza (similar but not the same) and a bulgolgi bake in the cafe as well. We didn't buy anything -- hard to lug a Costco sized item around on the subway. But, it was fun to check out both the Costco and another neighborhood.

Our second meeting was at 2:00. We got into the elevator to go down to the first floor, but someone else on board had selected a stop on the third floor. When it opened, Oliver was in the waiting area -- and he recognized us! It was hard not to jump out right then! When we did get back up to see him, we went into a different play room that had a bunch of toys. Our second meeting didn't go as smoothly as our first. To start, he was all over. Literally. He went from toy to toy to toy, never stopping and never wanting to play. He tried to climb on top of a big car (very dangerous) and would not be deterred. He was being very willful and was not as interested in us this time. Honestly, after 20 minutes we were both exhausted!

He did settle down for a few minutes here and there so we could interact with him more directly. He also hit and punched me in the face, threw a full on temper tantrum, ran away from us and would not listen to anyone -- us, the social worker or his foster mom. Overall it was a difficult visit and one that left Tony and I feeling more "uh oh" than "how sweet!". We did get kisses and hugs at the end, but boy are we going to have our hands full. Here are a few photos from the meeting.

He knows how to use the iPhone -- how to select pictures, move between them and enlarge them. Here he is demanding we give him my phone. He was stomping around with his hand up trying to get it.

And here he is still demanding it, getting more and more upset that we aren't giving in.
We can tell he's used to getting things this way.

A moment of quiet interaction. Didn't last long, but it was nice to play with him!

Today we are doing laundry and then going to see one of the temples and some of the historic areas of Seoul.  Tonight we are doing a "Korean Nights" food tour with a few folks that should be fun. Tomorrow we also have the full day to do as we wish. Friday we have our court appointment. We learned that we have the strict judge that often slows the entire process down by weeks and weeks. We are praying that our case is not one of those. 

The Moment

Each parent is blessed with the opportunity of meeting their child for the first time. Regardless of how the child came to be a part of the family, there is that moment when you first lay eyes on them or first feel their skin against yours. For Tony and I, that moment happened today at approximately 9:55 a.m. 

Before I get to the moment, let me talk a bit about getting ready for the big meeting. As previously posted, we brought many gifts with us. Luckily they all fit in our luggage and they made the trip without breaking, leaking or crushing. We got them bagged and ready to go, along with Oliver's elephant back pack full of toys, snacks and more.

Our meeting was scheduled to begin with paperwork at 9:30. Since we were conducting official agency business, we were instructed to dress nicely but in something we could get on the floor and play around in. For this meeting I decided to wear a necklace from my Grandma Ev; we also brought a beanie baby that was given to my during college from my Grams, so both of my grandmother's were part of the big day. 

There are two wonderful, warm and caring families staying on the same floor as us, and one of the women kindly snapped a photo of us just before we went downstairs. Every second that went by brought more anxiety and excitement, and this photo was taken a mere 5 minutes before we met our social worker at Eastern Social Welfare Society. Here we are, one final photo of us before this whole parenthood thing becomes even more real!

We were greeted in the office by Mrs. Shin, who has worked with Oliver and his foster mother since he was first placed in her care. She is a sweet, kind and patient woman and we are so glad to have her involved in Oliver's life. After completing the visa paperwork, we were taken upstairs for the big meeting. We were running a bit ahead of schedule and didn't know they were already here. As the elevator doors opened onto the third floor we saw a woman and child sitting on the couch in the common area. Both faces we had seen countless times before, now here in the flesh. Immediately, his foster mother "introduced" us as Umma and Appa (Mommy and Daddy in Korean), though he didn't react to us much and just wanted to get down and run around. So our moment occurred in the common area of the third floor at Easter Social Welfare Society as we stepped off an elevator. Unexpected, but very welcomed!

We expected him to be timid of us at first, and he was. As much as we wanted to scoop him up and cuddle him, we held back and just stayed near him. The two big ice breakers were stickers and bubbles. He started with the stickers, putting them on his foster mom's face. She was wonderful and kept encouraging him to stick them on us (she encouraged him throughout the meeting to go to us, to play with us, etc.). Once we brought out the bubbles he really starting warming up to us. Here's a very cute photo of him blowing bubbles (in the background you can see his social worker, Mrs. Shin).

Mastering the Art of Blowing Bubbles

Overall, the time together was amazing. I haven't done the meeting justice here, but truthfully I am still a bit under the weather and it's very late here. I'm going to summarize the rest of the meeting and sign off with photos.We get to see him tomorrow for a second (and final) visit. I promise to share more detailed thoughts and emotions in another post soon.

During the meeting we:

- Played more bubbles

- Chewed gum he gave us (should a 28 month old really be chewing gum??)

- Ate the peanut cookie he fed us

- Held him on our laps

- Picked him up

- Were given hugs and kisses...multiple times! (**melted my heart)

- Read a book

- Played with more bubbles

- Rolled a ball, a truck and a car back and forth

- realized how exhausting a toddler is going to be and how willful he is! 

Tony and I are both so happy to finally meet him. I can't wait to see him tomorrow! For now, it's off to bed. Here are the final pictures for tonight. 

Bubbles were a big hit. Thank you Kate for having an extra bottle on hand!

A Final Set

Today we received the final set of photos before meeting Oliver. For some reason we were only sent two photos, both taken on November 7th. I'll admit, knowing we get to meet him face to face in the matter of days made this update less exciting than normal. And while we are on the subject of meeting him, we'll be laying eyes on him in 5 days and 5 hours, or 125 hours. Eek!

So, here are the final photos....the last ones before we know what his voice sounds like. Before we know how big (or small) he is compared to us. Before we see that full head of hair for ourselves. Before our family grows.

28 Months

One Week

Sunday, November 17th, 7:00 pm in Minnesota = Monday, November 18th, 10:00 am in Seoul.
One week.
In one week we will be playing with Oliver for the first time. After waiting so long to meet him, it's hard to believe that this is really happening.

What else is hard to believe? That we will be able to fit everything we need to bring in our luggage. Thanks to Delta's poor customer service, we only get one checked bag each (with the second bag costing a whopping $100 each way. Ouch!). It isn't that I want to bring two checked bags, but with all of the gifts and dress clothes we need to take with us I was hoping that we had the option of a second bag. So, let's just say packing will be interesting!

This weekend I also bought a suit -- my first ever. Honestly, it probably isn't the suit I would have bought for myself had I taken the time to shop for it over the summer. I would have liked something a little nicer, better fitting, etc. But, it get the job done and looks decent enough without any added tailoring. Seeing that we leave Friday morning, and that I never took the time before this past weekend to even glance at suits, I'm happy to have that checked off the to-do list.

So, gifts are done (duty-free booze aside), letters are translated and pasted into cards, travel items have been bought, we both have suits to wear to court. Let the packing begin!

We Have a Court Date!

Monday morning, October 28th. I'm sitting at my desk, anxiety levels already rising as I wait and hope for news. Obsessively checking my personal email. Making sure I didn't miss a phone call. And then I see it. The subject says it all: Court Date Assigned!

Praise God!

It's official. Tony and I have been issued our appointment for the Korean Family Court. We will stand before the Judge and answer questions (via a translator) on Friday, November 22nd at 10:30 a.m.

What does this mean?
It means we leave for Korea on Friday, November 15th. As in 2.5 weeks from now! It also means that we will get to meet Oliver soon -- likely November 18th or 19th. Amazing. 

As some of you know, Tony has become quite the expert at collecting credit card points and airline miles. We have benefited from this on a number of occasions, and will be cashing in all (or nearly all) of them for this first trip to Korea. Flying via miles means we have a bit of a journey ahead of us -- including an overnight in LA on the way there (we might get to see my brother, which would be terrific) and an overnight in Narita, Japan on the way home. And given the time and day difference, our final leg of the return flight departs Japan at 3:30 Sunday afternoon, landing in Minneapolis at 11:30 Sunday morning...all November 24th!

Work on Monday, November 25 might be tough.

When will we get to bring Oliver home?
We don't know when we will be making the second trip, and we won't know until after we return from the first trip. There are a few final steps that must take place in Korea before we are granted final approval. Once we receive final approval, we will book our second trip. We may end up celebrating Christmas in Seoul this year -- or New Year's Eve. But no matter what it means Oliver will be coming home soon.

An important note: until we receive the final approval, we are not allowed to share photos and details in public settings (i.e., Face.book). Legally he is not our child and we are being careful to respect the agencies' wishes (a.k.a. demands). Therefore please continue to keep comments and questions off of any social media sites until Tony and I make the big announcement. Thank you!

In Other News
Our house is full of new carpet! The lower level has been fully carpeted; the upper level has had the old carpet replaced with new. That means we have begun setting up Oliver's room...and just in time! 

We were blessed by a number of friends -- and terrific and tireless In-Laws -- giving of their time and energy to help us with all of the moving of furniture, removing of carpet, pulling of staples, etc. Tony and I alone couldn't have managed the job and we are grateful for everyone's help and support. 

Now, it's back to the grindstone. We have a lot to prepare for in such a short time. It still doesn't feel real!

Photos! Photos!

After a three month hiatus on photo updates, Tony and I are jumping for joy that we were sent an update today! As usual, we received three photos. Surprisingly, however, one of the photos was taken during his September visit -- we didn't know they were even taking photos during the hiatus! In this photo he is wearing a top we sent him (yeah!) and he is opening his birthday package. I am so thankful that the social worker thought to capture this particular visit, even though she didn't have to. It means a lot to me.

The other two photos are from October and you can see how tall he is! 37.4" tall...or as Tony said, "another 11 inches and he'll be able to ride most kid rides at Valleyfair." Here's one of the photos -- see his page for the final one.

I can't wait to meet  him!

Got an Email Today....

....and it made me want to throw my computer out of my office window (instead I loudly muttered in frustration -- my coworker is probably a bit scared of me right now): 

This is a communication to share with you recent proceedings in the Korea Program before they are posted on the Weekly Update on the online Korea Newspage. We did receive Court dates for a few families this morning, but we did not receive dates for you or three others of the families whose Court Submission date was August 30, 2013.  I cannot give any more identifying information about the families/children for whom the Court Dates were issued today other than to share that their Court Submission dates were also on August 30, 2013. I would expect that the rest of this August 30 group (you and three other families) will be received any time now.  Again, we do not have any indication that there is any issue with your case and there have been no supplemental requests from the judge regarding you.)

This is actually the second such email we have gotten since our case was submitted to the Family Court (over 4 weeks ago...but who's counting!). 

In truth, I prefer getting the above message over just twisting in the wind. I'm part of a couple of facebook groups for folks adopting (one is for families through our local agency, the other is for families with our Korean agency (meaning they are from around the world)). When I see that court dates are being issued I begin to check my email constantly, on edge and full of anxiety. So at least I can stop hoping for good news today.

Sorry I don't have better things to share...maybe next time!

A Real Update!

Dear Family and Friends (a.k.a. my patient readers),

It is with joy and a renewed sense of hope that I share our latest news: 
[drumroll please...]

Our file has been submitted to the Korean Family Court! 

This is big news! We are officially in the home stretch of what feels like a never-ending process.

Let me back up for a moment. I must confess that I have not been 100% forthcoming with information these past few months. Back in late April Tony and I were told that our file was being prepared for submission to the Ministry of Health and Welfare (the agency that reviews the files and approves the child for emigration out of Korea). Given the lengthy delays and continued uncertainty families were experiencing, Tony and I decided to keep the information to ourselves (and the Grandparents, of course). There were a few hurdles to overcome before our file could be submitted, and my nerves were at an all-time high for the month of May. 

On May 31st our file was officially submitted to the Ministry. Tony and I (and again, the Grandparents) were so excited! What a way to kick off the summer. We were told that we should be approved in no more than eight weeks, so I developed and maintained an unhealthy attachment to my phone and email as I kept thinking "any minute now" for...well...what turned out to be 12 weeks. 

On August 23rd, while we were pulling out of our driveway to head to the State Fair, we received an email notifying us that the Ministry issued our Emigration Permission Approval. Before the Special Adoption Law went into effect last August, this was the call families waited for. Once the EP was issued, families were expected to hop on a plane and pick up their child. Now, it is just one more step forward.

So, what's next? 
Now we wait for the Family Court to review our file. Once they have reviewed our file, we will be assigned our court date. We have no say in when this date falls, but generally families are given 4-6 weeks notice (sometimes more). The court date indicates when will make our first trip to Korea -- and most importantly when we will get to meet Oliver. We will meet him a day or two prior to our court appointment. 

During our court appointment we will be asked questions by the Judge (through a translator) who will have the authority to approve us or deny us. Luckily there haven't been any families denied by the Judge -- at least that we know about.

Once the Judge issues their approval (which will likely day a few days), a 14-day waiting period begins. When the waiting period is over, we get to bring Oliver home. There are a few other smaller steps after the waiting period is over (interview at the Embassy and I'm sure more paperwork), but nothing major. 

Tony and I currently plan to take two trips -- the first for our court appearance, the second after the 14-day wait is over. Once we are home, there will be some post-placement requirements we have to meet. Social worker visits, letters, etc. But we will be a family. The end is in sight.

So, when we will get to travel?
Good question! I'll be sure to let you know when we find out. Until then, we are keeping our expectations in check and just looking for it to happen sometime yet this year.

We appreciate all of the support, love, prayers and encouragement. I can't wait to give you the next update -- our court (and travel) date!

Love,
Tonya

Monthly Updates Suspended

We received notice today from our local agency (CHSFS) that our Korean agency (ESWS) has announced a temporary suspension in the monthly updates (photos, measurements, etc.). 

We have received written communication from ESWS that there will be no photographs, measurements and/or updates for matched children in the months of August and September in an attempt to focus worker time for Ministry and Court submissions.  This is a temporary hold on updates.  It is anticipated that the extra time used now for the new process will result in a systematic, effective process going forward.  Of course, if there are medical test results or urgent news regarding a child, it will be shared immediately. 

The lack of new photos and updates is crummy news, but at least we know not to expect them. Hopefully this temporary suspension really does free up the workers' time and helps to move families forward in the process.

With any luck we will get other updates during this suspension -- movement of our file, perhaps even a court date. So check back every once in a while just in case!

24 Month Update (a.k.a. New Photos)

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to present a very active two year old Oliver [drumroll please...]!

Looks like he's full of energy.

Such a big boy!

He can work a door handle...guess we better get to kid-proofing the house!

He has grown so much since we first saw the referral. He weighed 7.7 lbs at birth and was about 20.2 inches long. By the time we 'met' him in January 2012 (meaning when we saw his information in the referral packet), he was more than 22 lbs and 29 inches tall. 

Today he has a massive amount of hair, is nearly 32 lbs and is officially over 3 feet tall! He's had a busy couple of years. 

23 Months: He's Nearly 2!

My email stalking has paid off as we just got new photos of Oliver! I can't quite explain how exciting and emotional it is to receive the email (or how frustrating it is when one doesn't arrive when expected). After days (or more) of constantly checking for new messages, when I see the subject line and the sender, my heart leaps. My chest tightens a touch. My eyes widen and sometimes a little tear forms. My breath catches and there's a audible gasp. I can't wait to open the email and yet I often wait for a second, enough time to text or email Tony to have him check his own account too.

Then finally...the reveal. The three pictures. Usually action shots, often not clear pictures of his face. But it's him (except for that one month where I just wasn't sure; see this post for more). And I'm so happy to see him. And so sad to have missed more time with him.

Once we get the photos, there's a flurry of editing, uploading (so we can print off copies), sending them to the grand parents, and of course posting them on the blog! 

This month's photos show him with the items from our 7th care package (not his birthday package, but the one just before that). As Tony knows, I'm a stickler about clean teeth, so it warms my heart that one of the photos is him "brushing" (okay, chewing) with the toothbrush we sent! 

It's hard to believe that next month he will be two. Click over to his page for the other photos we received.

Package #8 and an Update

Since my last post we celebrated Mother's Day. For some of my friends it was their first day celebrating as a Mom (and more than one ended up with sick kiddos! welcome to mommy-hood), and for others it wasn't their first year as a Mom but the first year celebrating with a new little one in the family. Congrats to all of my Mom friends!

I was blessed to celebrate with my Mom in person this year, though earlier in the month when she came in for the adoption shower. We enjoyed luxurious facials (almost two hours of pure bliss) and had our nails done. It was wonderful! On Mother's Day we celebrated with Tony's family, enjoying brunch and some family time -- I think his Mom enjoyed the day. For me it was year #2 as a "kind of mom"...not actively being a Mom to anyone, but yet having this little guy that I already feel protective of, worry about and love deeply. Barring anything completely unforeseen, next year we will (finally) celebrate fully!

There are a few minor updates on the adoption process, though they could change at any time. Things are still very much in flux and I'm trying to take the updates with a grain of salt. More of a "yeah, we'll see what actually happens" kind of attitude. Here are a few things we've learned recently:

1. The family court judges have come together and decided that all families will be required to appear in court (both the adopting mother and father). The first group of families to fall under this decision will begin traveling soon as they have court dates in June. These are some of the families still remaining from 2012.

2. Given the requirement to appear in court, it is believed that we will need to make one long trip (4-5 weeks) or two trips of about 1 week each, with 3-4 weeks in between. Either way, we will only get to see Oliver 2 or 3 times; he won't be able to stay with us in Korea even if we chose to stay for the 4-5 weeks.

After this first group of families goes through the process, more will be known about the travel needs and whether the adoption will be finalized in Korea or here in the U.S. Since the beginning of international adoption in Korea, adoptions have been finalized in the family's home country (and for the U.S. this happens 5-6 months after coming home). With the addition of the Family Court process, it is possible that we'll be able to finalize everything before returning home, which would be fantastic.

So, we continue to wait. Long ago our goal was to celebrate Oliver's 2nd birthday with him here in Minnesota, but we have had to let that dream go. There's just no way we'll be with him for his special day. Therefore, we have put together a 2nd birthday package that we hope will be there in time for his birthday. Here's what the package includes:

• "Good Night Moon" and "Guess How Much I Love You" children's books; both in Korean and both books we also have here in English. We hope that the pictures and overall feel of the book will be similar and might help him feel comfortable as he learns English.
• Remote Control learning toy with songs, numbers, phrases and more
• Puerto Rico frog brought back from a cruise his Oma and Opa went on this past spring.
• Tube of toddler toothpaste (which was actually a shower gift!).
• Happy 2nd Birthday Card. 

Package #8 for Oliver's 2nd Birthday

Poor Simba...he'll just have to wait

What wasn't included? Simba. We were very sad that Simba didn't fit, though we had high hopes of stuffing him in! Instead we will keep it for him and give it to him in person. Or, if the wait is still several months long, we will try to send just Simba to him (he might fit if he's the only thing in the bag!). 

I could barely seal the bag!

I never thought I would have to stuff so much into one small bag. Package #8....wow!

Adoption Shower

Over a year ago, when Tony and I shared our news with his family, one of the first things they said was that they would like to throw us a shower to celebrate our new little one. I was so touched that they wanted to do this! Throughout our journey to parenthood there have been a number of things I've mourned. One of them was the opportunity to share in the various aspects of having a baby that most of my women friends have gotten to experience (and talk about with other moms). While there's little I can do to experience pregnancy or to have my own "birth story," celebrating with an adoption shower was just what I needed (and wanted)! Plus, let's be honest. A shower is far easier than growing and delivering a child! 

Fast forward to Sunday, May 5th. Adoption shower day! Hosted by four fabulous women: Kris (Tony's Aunt), Sarah (Kris' daughter-in-law and the one who bravely offered her home as the location), Britta (Tony's cousin/Kris' daughter), and Kristina (Kris' other daughter-in-law). Here's a photo of the lovely hostesses:

Left to Right: Kris, Sarah, Tonya, Britta, Kristina

Joining in the Minnesota celebration was a lone Missouri representative...my Mom (a.k.a. Oliver's Nana). I was so excited to have her visit, and so glad she could be part of the shower. Here's a photo of the "Moms": Barb (a.k.a. Oliver's Oma; Tony's Mom), the mom-to-be, and Debbie (my mom!):

Left to Right: Barb, Tonya, Debbie

There were quite a number of people at the shower and Sarah was an unflappable hostess! The food was plentiful, the decorations personal and adorable, and everyone was having a great time. As I've posted a few times recently, Tony and I have been on a roller coaster lately and it's been difficult to keep things moving, putting one foot in front of the other. This shower, and the chance to celebrate with and be encouraged by a mass of people who love our family, means more to me than words can express. Tony and I are truly blessed.

And Oliver...he's truly spoiled! Here are just a few photos of what our family and friend's generosity looks like:

Duplos!

Bath toys (we got a lot of those!)

His first fishing rod

We're going to start him early...

Now he can look like dad with his own flannel shirt

Hand knit socks, made by a friend. Very special!

He now has at least 6 different hats!

Outdoor fun!

Last but not least, flannel pants so he can lounge with us in style

Not only did we get a chance to celebrate Oliver's (eventual) arrival, but we had an opportunity receive so many blessings from so many people. Amazing. Thank you to all who were able to join in the festivities! I know that most of my family and some of my friends live too far away to make the trek north, but we're also appreciating all of your support and encouragement during this roller coaster ride, too. 

Oliver is certainly loved!

**Note: there are photos with actual attendees featured (not just me and gifts!), but not everyone likes to have their photo up online (sorry, Becca...I didn't ask you first! You're such a good friend, I figure I can buy you a drink next time we go out!).