The Sad State of Christmas in Our House

For several very good reasons, Tony and I decided to scale back Christmas at the house this year. I did put a few decorations up, but we skipped the exterior Christmas lights, I haven't baked a single Christmas treat, and biggest of all...we don't have a Christmas tree. Even Tony has commented that by not having a Christmas tree, it's hard to get into the spirit of the season. I suppose I could have agreed to buy an artificial tree this year, but if I did that I wouldn't be able to convince Tony to get a real tree in the future. 

So, instead of our traditional, beautiful tree, I put a tree skirt around our norfolk pine (each Christmas I put the tiny ornaments on, but I really miss our personal ones!). We also have so few gifts! My family gifts have already been mailed or ordered, and we are waiting until we return to buy gifts for the bigger Meyers/Lofgren Christmas celebration. As for Oliver's gifts, we will bring a few with us and will likely have that be all this year. 

This morning I realized that no matter how things fall into place, at this point there is no possible way we will be celebrating Christmas at home (unless the unthinkable happens and we don't get our final approval...not something I want to even consider). So next year we will have to go all out -- can't wait!

Saturday night Tony and I enjoyed what will be our last date night for awhile. We had dinner at Piccolo, a quaint restaurant in South Minneapolis with a very interesting dinner. The waiter snapped a picture of us, and though it didn't turn out very well (hello red eye!), the dining room was so small that it didn't feel right asking him to try again and disrupting the other diners a second time. So here's a black and white version of us getting ready to enjoy our final date night meal before we officially become parents:

Hopefully I'll be back with good news soon!

Friends and Blessings

Our friends have truly blessed us (and continue to bless us). Each time I turn around there's a friend offering us clothes, sharing the apps that keep their little ones happy on long trips, giving us a word of encouragement, passing along a little this or that to help us out, and more. We even had a full crew on hand to help us paint Oliver's room (back in May). And last week a friend gave us an activity pack to bring along for the plane ride home (or whenever we need it). It's perfect! Very thoughtful...and already kid tested! 

This past weekend I sat down with the clothes friends have passed down, along with the clothes we were given at the shower. The clothes filled his floor and then some -- and my heart was filled with appreciation. For our friends, they probably didn't think too long about passing along these clothes. Maybe they were even happy to have them out of their house. For me, their gift has been a major help in preparing us for the unknown. It's allowed me to feel reassured and (at least a tiny bit) prepared. We now have enough clothing in a couple different sizes to get us through the short term, until we get back home and are able to better know what sizes work best. A small thing to our friends, but a huge thing to us. 

As we continue to prepare to bring Oliver home, we also continue waiting for word on the final approval. It's not yet been 14 days, so I'm enjoying a break in the usual email obsession and anxiety that comes with expecting an email "any second now." Instead I can obsess about whether we have enough toys to get us started, what we are going to get everyone for Christmas, how I'm going to get things set up properly at work, and so on. Plenty to worry about -- but also trusting God that His hand is on the situation and that if I just keep plugging away things will be okay in the end.

One Week

Sunday, November 17th, 7:00 pm in Minnesota = Monday, November 18th, 10:00 am in Seoul.
One week.
In one week we will be playing with Oliver for the first time. After waiting so long to meet him, it's hard to believe that this is really happening.

What else is hard to believe? That we will be able to fit everything we need to bring in our luggage. Thanks to Delta's poor customer service, we only get one checked bag each (with the second bag costing a whopping $100 each way. Ouch!). It isn't that I want to bring two checked bags, but with all of the gifts and dress clothes we need to take with us I was hoping that we had the option of a second bag. So, let's just say packing will be interesting!

This weekend I also bought a suit -- my first ever. Honestly, it probably isn't the suit I would have bought for myself had I taken the time to shop for it over the summer. I would have liked something a little nicer, better fitting, etc. But, it get the job done and looks decent enough without any added tailoring. Seeing that we leave Friday morning, and that I never took the time before this past weekend to even glance at suits, I'm happy to have that checked off the to-do list.

So, gifts are done (duty-free booze aside), letters are translated and pasted into cards, travel items have been bought, we both have suits to wear to court. Let the packing begin!

We Have a Court Date!

Monday morning, October 28th. I'm sitting at my desk, anxiety levels already rising as I wait and hope for news. Obsessively checking my personal email. Making sure I didn't miss a phone call. And then I see it. The subject says it all: Court Date Assigned!

Praise God!

It's official. Tony and I have been issued our appointment for the Korean Family Court. We will stand before the Judge and answer questions (via a translator) on Friday, November 22nd at 10:30 a.m.

What does this mean?
It means we leave for Korea on Friday, November 15th. As in 2.5 weeks from now! It also means that we will get to meet Oliver soon -- likely November 18th or 19th. Amazing. 

As some of you know, Tony has become quite the expert at collecting credit card points and airline miles. We have benefited from this on a number of occasions, and will be cashing in all (or nearly all) of them for this first trip to Korea. Flying via miles means we have a bit of a journey ahead of us -- including an overnight in LA on the way there (we might get to see my brother, which would be terrific) and an overnight in Narita, Japan on the way home. And given the time and day difference, our final leg of the return flight departs Japan at 3:30 Sunday afternoon, landing in Minneapolis at 11:30 Sunday morning...all November 24th!

Work on Monday, November 25 might be tough.

When will we get to bring Oliver home?
We don't know when we will be making the second trip, and we won't know until after we return from the first trip. There are a few final steps that must take place in Korea before we are granted final approval. Once we receive final approval, we will book our second trip. We may end up celebrating Christmas in Seoul this year -- or New Year's Eve. But no matter what it means Oliver will be coming home soon.

An important note: until we receive the final approval, we are not allowed to share photos and details in public settings (i.e., Face.book). Legally he is not our child and we are being careful to respect the agencies' wishes (a.k.a. demands). Therefore please continue to keep comments and questions off of any social media sites until Tony and I make the big announcement. Thank you!

In Other News
Our house is full of new carpet! The lower level has been fully carpeted; the upper level has had the old carpet replaced with new. That means we have begun setting up Oliver's room...and just in time! 

We were blessed by a number of friends -- and terrific and tireless In-Laws -- giving of their time and energy to help us with all of the moving of furniture, removing of carpet, pulling of staples, etc. Tony and I alone couldn't have managed the job and we are grateful for everyone's help and support. 

Now, it's back to the grindstone. We have a lot to prepare for in such a short time. It still doesn't feel real!

The Roller Coaster, Reflections & Things I'm Thankful For

Roller Coaster 
I've started, deleted and re-started this post a number of times now. I just can't quite find the proper way to express how I am feeling, what I am thinking and what is (or isn't) happening in the world of "bringing Oliver home." 

As with any roller coaster, this journey has had it's highs and lows (with more to come, I'm sure). Last week, getting the new photos, I felt a surge of happiness and hope. But by Friday afternoon, after another week of no news on our court date, I began to feel deflated. Hopeless.

Yesterday several families were given court dates (shared on facebook) -- families whose paperwork went to the Family Court on the same day as ours. Tony and I were both full of excitement and anticipation. My heart was racing. I checked my email constantly. I kept checking my phone for a possible missed call. 

Unfortunately, there was no phone call. No email. Nothing.

I feel crushed. People say to be patient, to trust in God's timing, that it will all be worth it in the end. And yes, those things are absolutely true. I know they are true. However, knowing and feeling are two different things! And right now I'm feeling very very low. The "can't stay awake, can't get out of bed, crying spontaneously in the car" kind of low. 

Reflections
These feelings are not helped by the fact that it is October. It has been five years since Tony and I began the journey to add to our family. In those five years friends have had one, maybe two (or more) children. Friends have gotten married....and pregnant. Life has continued, as it is destined to do. Yet in many ways I've been in limbo for so much of the past five years. My patience has been tried and testing time and time again. I am tired of being patient! (for a recap of our journey, you can see this blog post from September 2012: click here)

Well, enough Debbie Downer for one morning! Hopefully the "what I know" will win out over the "how I feel" and I'll start to perk up again soon.

Thankful
On to something more upbeat. There are a number of things I've discovered or experienced recently that I'm very thankful for. 
1. The Delay Start feature on our washing machine
2. Keypad lock for the front door -- no key needed!
3. Working with a local carpet installer instead of a big box store -- not only is it great to use a local person, but it also allows us to do sections at a time instead of the whole house
4. Being able to run outside (rain recently forced me back to the gym and the treadmill...I forgot how much more enjoyable an outdoor run is to an indoor/treadmill run)
5. The anti-slip product you can place under bathroom rugs so they stop sliding around all the time.

Well, that's all I have for now. Hopefully the next post will include a court date and travel plans!

Photos! Photos!

After a three month hiatus on photo updates, Tony and I are jumping for joy that we were sent an update today! As usual, we received three photos. Surprisingly, however, one of the photos was taken during his September visit -- we didn't know they were even taking photos during the hiatus! In this photo he is wearing a top we sent him (yeah!) and he is opening his birthday package. I am so thankful that the social worker thought to capture this particular visit, even though she didn't have to. It means a lot to me.

The other two photos are from October and you can see how tall he is! 37.4" tall...or as Tony said, "another 11 inches and he'll be able to ride most kid rides at Valleyfair." Here's one of the photos -- see his page for the final one.

I can't wait to meet  him!

Numbers Don't Lie

Our local agency has this little area on the side of their Korea News Page that tracks the basics: number of families home, number waiting to travel, number waiting for referrals. It's not always up to date, but I noticed today that they had a September 30th date on there.

You may recall from this time last year that adoptions came to a grinding halt, with families no longer traveling to bring home their children, and the rest of the families being left to wait and wonder. So as you consider the below information, keep this in mind: all but maybe one or two families who took placement in 2012 did so before mid-October of 2012. 

As of September 30, 2013 (numbers are for families working with Children's Home only; not Korea-wide):
Placements in 2013: 6 children in 6 families
Placements in 2012: 82 children in 82 families
Placements in 2011: 94 children in 94 families

In addition, there are currently 73 families that have accepted a referral and are waiting to travel. Luckily Tony and I are pretty far along in the process, but we still don't know when we'll be heading over there. Never in our wildest dreams did we think we'd be childless in October 2013 -- and now we are facing a possible childless Thanksgiving 2013. Ouch.

This information is not "new" to me, but it hit me in a new way today. All of those children still waiting. All of those foster families that didn't anticipate parenting this long. All of the time passing by. There is certainly no shortage of things to pray about.

Got an Email Today....

....and it made me want to throw my computer out of my office window (instead I loudly muttered in frustration -- my coworker is probably a bit scared of me right now): 

This is a communication to share with you recent proceedings in the Korea Program before they are posted on the Weekly Update on the online Korea Newspage. We did receive Court dates for a few families this morning, but we did not receive dates for you or three others of the families whose Court Submission date was August 30, 2013.  I cannot give any more identifying information about the families/children for whom the Court Dates were issued today other than to share that their Court Submission dates were also on August 30, 2013. I would expect that the rest of this August 30 group (you and three other families) will be received any time now.  Again, we do not have any indication that there is any issue with your case and there have been no supplemental requests from the judge regarding you.)

This is actually the second such email we have gotten since our case was submitted to the Family Court (over 4 weeks ago...but who's counting!). 

In truth, I prefer getting the above message over just twisting in the wind. I'm part of a couple of facebook groups for folks adopting (one is for families through our local agency, the other is for families with our Korean agency (meaning they are from around the world)). When I see that court dates are being issued I begin to check my email constantly, on edge and full of anxiety. So at least I can stop hoping for good news today.

Sorry I don't have better things to share...maybe next time!

Conference Time, Painting, Moves and Waiting

I'm officially in the midst of the busiest stretch of the year work-wise as we gear up for our Annual Conference. This is my 10th conference (and my 3rd as the sole conference manager), and as usual it's down right crazy -- compounded this year by the departure of one of my coworkers (her last day will be the conference). Two more weeks and I will be home free -- the event is October 10th. I can't wait!

On the home front I've been spending much of my spare time painting -- lots and lots of painting. I'm nearly done, just one more session! Then we will be ready to carpet. Pretty soon we will be able to get Oliver's bedroom all set up. Yeah!

While we are still waiting to learn our court date from the Family Court, we are feeling rather grateful right now to have our case completely through the Ministry of Health and Welfare. Just this week our local agency informed us of some changes taking place with the Ministry. Changes that will no doubt cause a pretty big slowdown for families that are waiting to receive their Emigration Permission. 

Here are the details (copied from the Agency's update, word for word):

Korea Ministry of Health and Welfare Move 

It has been confirmed that the Ministry is moving its offices from Seoul to the new city of Sejong about 2 hours outside of Seoul.  The latest report is that this move will take place in the month of November and possibly as early as October.  It is estimated that the move will have a delaying effect on the emigration permission issuance process, but that has not been addressed officially by either the Ministry or the Korean agencies with whom Children's Home works.  We will continue to monitor the situation and inform you accordingly. 

Korea Ministry of Health and Welfare Staffing Rotation 

Although not confirmed by the Ministry directly, it is being reported by  the Korean agencies that there will also be a rotation of staff in the Ministry at the end of this year or the beginning of next year.  Again, the specific timing around this is unknown. We will continue to monitor the situation and inform you accordingly.

Sejong is a planned city established to contain various government agencies. I'm not sure if the agency staff will live there or commute there -- I hear it is a 90 minute train ride. Either way, it's a big change for a large number of individuals and families. 

We are so glad to be through the Ministry, but my heart goes out to the families still waiting. Hopefully we will have good news about our case soon --- stay tuned!

Chuseok

Somehow we are already more than half way through September. It's been a busy few weeks since my last post, both at work (our big annual conference is just over 3 weeks away) and at home (spending lots of time in the lower level cleaning, prepping and painting). We are frantically trying to complete the work on our lower level as we need to install carpeting -- downstairs (new) and upstairs (replace current) before we travel to Korea. We are actually getting close, though it still feels far away!

We have not yet received a court date, though we have been assured that the court has not requested any additional information nor have they expressed any questions or concerns. I think Tony and I are both doing okay with this particular wait and just hope to learn more in the next two or three weeks.

What we do know: no additional court dates will be assigned this week as Korea celebrates Chuseok, meaning all offices are close from September 18-20 (and remember they are 14 hours ahead of us, so it's already the 18th there). 

Chuseok is basically the Korean Harvest Festival, a time to celebrate good harvest, visit ancestral hometowns and share in large feasts and parties. I think it is, in many ways, similar to our Thanksgiving. Lots of food. Lots of family. Often a bit of travel.

This year Chuseok is on September 19, meaning that the holiday begins on the 18th and ends on the 20th. Ancestors are an important part of the Korean culture, so many families travel to pay their respects, visit tombs and even preform ancestral worship rituals. There are also traditional foods and games that apparently play a big role in the celebration, though I don't know if that's just the internet talking or if families really do keep to tradition during this time.

With any luck the courts will be feeling festive and full of family love next week and we'll hear about a court date! Maybe not. We are trying to be patient and know you are too. 

I'll keep you posted!

Anniversary Getaway

It's hard to believe that Tony and I have been married for 7 years, and that we've known each other for over 15 (and only disliked each other for about 3 of those years). What a journey we've had, and what a crazy year we have ahead of us!

Less than two weeks ago Tony and I decided to head out of town to celebrate our Anniversary. We had some airline miles to use (that won't help us with the Korea trips) and I've been itching to get out of town. Plus, the daily issues of both home construction and adoption drama coupled with busy schedules had us both needing a small escape.

We flew out extra early Thursday and came back extra late last night (Sunday) for a lovely 4 days/3 nights in Chicago. Tony booked our room through this fancy credit card travel program, so our home base was the Trump International Hotel right along the river. As part of the travel program deal we were treated to a yummy welcome (the chocolates were part of the program; the chocolate covered berries painted with gold were for our anniversary):

 

However, the best surprise was the upgrade. We expected a king room with a city view, hoping to be upgraded to a river view. Unfortunately no river view rooms were available, so instead we were upgraded to a SUITE! The suite is listed on their site as starting at 1,200SF...bigger than apartments Tony and I have lived in! It.Was.Beautiful. A bathroom with shower was right by the front door; a full kitchen (all of the Trump rooms have full kitchens, so this wasn't just for the suite); a dining area; a large living room with fireplace and work area. 

This is a photo from the Trump website; our room was actually reverse and just a bit different (work area was beyond the fireplace; sofa was against a wall). But it gives you an idea of the space. Photo taken from the dining area.

Photo taken from the chaise lounge across from the desk; windows behind me. 

Then through the door was the Master Suite, which included a very large bathroom (the deep bath tub was great!); a dressing and make up room; and an extra large bedroom and sitting area. 

This is a photo from the Trump website; our bathroom room was actually reverse of this. Behind the frosted glass is the business area of the bathroom. And yes, there is a TV in the mirror.

The photo doesn't quite do the bedroom justice, but as you can see it is quite luxurious.

This is the dressing and makeup room; there is a large closet just to the right and a full mirror between that and the bathroom (hard to fit it all in)

Unbelievable! The lovely accommodations aside, Tony and I really enjoyed the weekend. We saw a couple of friends (once on purpose; once in a "it's a small world" encounter), ate good food, did a little biking and a lot of walking, caught the Air part of the Chicago Air & Water show, ate more good food, saw "We're the Millers" (very funny), enjoyed some adult beverages, ate even more, and did a lot of relaxing. It was great. 

On Thursday night we stumbled upon a USO concert and got a chance to step into the gunner position of an armored humvee. Here's a cell phone photo one of the army guys snapped for us:

Tony took (literally) hundreds and hundreds of pictures; these are all the ones I have on my phone...sadly mostly of the room, but I deferred to Tony's more professional camera and photo-taking skills for the rest.

Now, back to the real world!

The "No Update" Update

I'm feeling a case of "bad blogger" coming on! I'm sorry for my absence, though truthfully there's not been much to post since the last entry. Tony and I have seen no movement in our case, and the updates we've received haven't been as positive as we'd like.

The good news: there are now a few families home with their children. That's BIG progress, of course, considering that these families thought they would be home to celebrate Christmas together last year. And there are a group of families who have been assigned court dates for the end of August, meaning they should be home with their children in late September or early October.

The not-so-good news: there are still a lot of families waiting for movement. In addition, it seems that the Ministry and the Courts are still working out various kinks, implementing new restrictions and limitations, and the Court is taking it's summer break from today through August 11th. 

On the home front, I've been struggling. Ready to throw in the towel. Frustration at an all-time high, coupled with a constant panic of "I don't think I'm ready for this / the house isn't ready for this / how do we do this parenting a toddler thing" line of thinking. I've also been trying to push ahead on the things we can work on now (purchasing items, finishing the lower level so we can carpet and get Oliver's room ready, etc.). And we've tried to take advantage of the time we have as a party of two and grabbed some lovely meals out on the town. 

Beyond that, nothing new to report here. As soon as there is, I'll be sure to share. 
Enjoy the last couple of days of July!

Happy 2nd Birthday!

Oliver is officially 2 years old -- a growing and active little boy! To celebrate we enjoyed a small family dinner (Uncle Mike, Oma and Opa were on hand) complete with an ice cream cake and gifts. It wasn't exactly a kid-focused party (the guys did a bourbon tasting and enjoyed a pre-dinner cigar), but it was a good distraction from what could have been a rough day.

When we celebrated his first birthday last summer (see this post), we had high hopes that his second birthday would be a big bash here in town. If not a big bash, at least a quiet bash with our newly home son. Not having him here makes it bittersweet and we really hope his foster family treated him to a special day. Since we didn't have a cute little boy to take photos of, you'll have to be entertained by other shots:

Oliver and his gifts!

Oma & Opa with the "loot": a remote control car, beret and Leapfrog Laptop from them and Simba from us

Tony picked out the cake: a DQ Ice Cream Cake. Maybe next year I can do something homemade!

In other news, Tony and I drove down to St. Louis over the 4th of July. It was great to see family and friends. For the 4th, we headed to the Webster Groves fair (one we frequented when I was young) for rides and fireworks. Tony, who has a fear of carnival rides, was convinced by our niece and nephew to give the Tilt-a-Whirl a try. Here are a couple pre-ride shots as they get ready to tilt and whirl!

Ian's ready to go and Brooke is cuddled up next to Uncle Tony

Everyone is excited!

In addition to seeing family and friends, we also brought back my nephew's bedroom set for Oliver to use. Our little one now has a twin size captain's bed with drawers on one side and an open little person play area on the other; a mattress; a chest of drawers; a book shelf; and the necessary safety gates for the bed. He also has a box full of GeoTrax train supplies to set up underneath is bed. Very cool! We are happy to have some of the essential items (plus the trains). Now we just need to finish our lower level enough to be able to get the house carpeted so we can set everything up!

I hope you all had a great 4th of July holiday and that the summer is going well. 

Probably a Taboo Subject, But Posting it Anyway

Sometimes I wonder how the emotions of the adoption journey that I'm on compare to those a first-time expectant (a.k.a. pregnant) woman experiences on her journey. Kind of a taboo subject, I know, but something that's been on my mind (and filling me with guilt) for a long time now. As this blog is for my own musings, I thought I would just go for it. 

I wonder, does she, like me, feel generally disconnected from her coming child, someone she's not yet met and only seen in pictures (albeit our photos are a bit less alien-looking than hers)? Or does feeling the baby move and knowing that life is growing within her create a strong emotional connection right off the bat?

Does she have a few moments of overwhelming positive emotion (desire to meet them, 'love' for them, excitement about their arrival), but typically finds herself just fulfilling items on a to-do list? Or is she swooning with love and excitement and anticipation most of the time?

Does she feel isolated and unsupported, even though those around her are trying to encourage and offer their love and support? Or is there some kind of primal connection that happens among women once you become pregnant, like joining a secret society?

For years I imagined how wonderful it would be to have life growing inside me (morning sickness, swelling body, etc., aside). How connected I would feel -- feeling a love for the unborn child that was unmatched to anything previously experienced…a continuous and strong love. 

But now? I have to admit that I often feel….removed from the whole situation. Disconnected. I have never seen (let alone felt) Oliver move, heard him make noise, touched him, smelled him. For as much as I get all caught up in the emotion of receiving the photos, in actuality I don't know much of anything about him. I know stats -- height, weight, a few details about what he can do. Is that how it is for an expectant mother, too? She has an ultrasound and is over the moon with excitement and is filled with emotion, but then finds the excitement and emotion fading as daily life takes over again?

For as emotional as some of our friends and family are about the adoption and the wait, I generally feel bogged down. And nervous! Bogged down with endless decisions that I feel unprepared for (what car seats to get? what size clothes will he need? what baby proofing do we really need to do? where are we going to put his toddler dishes? what about diapers? what will we tell him when he asks about his birth family or foster family? how will we answer the tough adoption questions?). Bogged down by the endless waiting…only to be told to wait more. And nervous about what kind of parent I am going to be and how bringing a child into our family will change things (I know that expectant women feel this too!).

My Mother-in-Law, who is beside herself with excitement and anticipation, told me recently that she's so excited for us because she knows what's coming. She knows how Oliver will change (and improve) our lives. She knows what that love feels like and how it will fill us up to overflowing. Perhaps that's it right there. As a non-parent, and as a person with little to no interaction with kids, I have no idea what to expect (or do once he's here). Absolutely.No.Idea.

And truthfully, I can't wait for her to be proven right. I've said it before and I will say it again -- I don't "do" change very well. And this is a MAJOR change. I also know that when situations are tough, I raise my defenses by disconnecting myself, emotionally, as much as possible (and when I let my guard down, you can find me crying in the ladies room at work, or in my car driving to the grocery store, as those are the two places it seems to happen most). Maybe I would have done this during a pregnancy, too. Who knows!

But I cannot wait to feel for this little boy what my heart desires to feel -- love, unending love. 

For a recap of how we came to be where we are today, here's a link to something I posted in August 2012 that summarizes our journey. Click here to read it.

23 Months: He's Nearly 2!

My email stalking has paid off as we just got new photos of Oliver! I can't quite explain how exciting and emotional it is to receive the email (or how frustrating it is when one doesn't arrive when expected). After days (or more) of constantly checking for new messages, when I see the subject line and the sender, my heart leaps. My chest tightens a touch. My eyes widen and sometimes a little tear forms. My breath catches and there's a audible gasp. I can't wait to open the email and yet I often wait for a second, enough time to text or email Tony to have him check his own account too.

Then finally...the reveal. The three pictures. Usually action shots, often not clear pictures of his face. But it's him (except for that one month where I just wasn't sure; see this post for more). And I'm so happy to see him. And so sad to have missed more time with him.

Once we get the photos, there's a flurry of editing, uploading (so we can print off copies), sending them to the grand parents, and of course posting them on the blog! 

This month's photos show him with the items from our 7th care package (not his birthday package, but the one just before that). As Tony knows, I'm a stickler about clean teeth, so it warms my heart that one of the photos is him "brushing" (okay, chewing) with the toothbrush we sent! 

It's hard to believe that next month he will be two. Click over to his page for the other photos we received.

Stripes

Memorial Day weekend, 2013, will go down in the history books as the weekend of stripes. Blessed by good friends who are creative, willing to help, dedicated and just generally awesome, we set aside some time over Memorial Day weekend to plan and paint the room that will be Oliver's. Lacking a desire to do any interior designing as well as experience painting anything beyond a solid color, I desperately needed help.

Enter Kate (creative team lead and experienced painter), Julie (pretty darn creative too, and experienced painter) and Rachel (amazing team encourager and experienced painter). Saturday morning brought brunch and sketching (by Kate) as we brainstormed some fun ideas to decorate Oliver's wall. Our inspiration: his Pottery Barn Kids bedding:

The Madras Quilt; Planning to partner it with navy black out curtains

The Plan: Paint three of the walls a light tan; paint the accent wall a light blue. Add stripes. STRIPES? I couldn't fathom how to paint vertical stripes on a wall. I'm sure there are a million online tutorials on how to do it, but if I was left to my own devices the decorating would have ended with tan and blue!

Saturday was our planning, purchasing and primary painting day. I will say, painting a room with four people goes much faster than my doing the second coat solo. Good thing I had my trusty audio book to keep me company!

The Stripes: After the walls dried and frog tape was purchased, we reconvened Monday afternoon to begin laying out the stripes. I'll admit -- panic ensued when our trusty creative director texted that she couldn't make it. What? The designer of the whole plan wouldn't be there? Oh no... but as luck would have it, Julie knew exactly what to do too. Whew. Double whew! She had us drawing lines in no time flat. 

The drawing of the lines was pretty easy, thanks to a few levels and eager participants. Deciding what colors go where...let's just say I'm extra thankful to some creative helpers! After a long tapping session we got down to business, painting all sorts of fun colors. 

When Tony initially saw the taped and painted wall, I think he was a touch leery about the how the whole thing would look. He kept saying "those are some bright colors". Early Tuesday morning I couldn't wait, so before he was even out of bed I had all of the tape removed. Wow! Amazing! And Tony agrees.

Here's the full wall -- sorry that the colors are off and the overhead light is playing into the photo.
It's the best I could do with a cell phone camera. You get the overall idea, though.

What a fun room this will be for a little boy! I cannot wait to meet him and get to know him -- once we know more about his interests and likes, we plan to add more themed stuff in his room. For now, we'll keep the decorations simple and let this awesome wall be the focal point.

Navy, green, orange, red and bright white -- all excellent matches with the bedding.
Now it's time to find some furniture!

Thank you! Thanks again Kate, Julie and Rachel (and Jen...while you couldn't be in there person you were there in spirit!). You blessed Tony and I with your willingness to help and I am so very grateful.

Package #8 and an Update

Since my last post we celebrated Mother's Day. For some of my friends it was their first day celebrating as a Mom (and more than one ended up with sick kiddos! welcome to mommy-hood), and for others it wasn't their first year as a Mom but the first year celebrating with a new little one in the family. Congrats to all of my Mom friends!

I was blessed to celebrate with my Mom in person this year, though earlier in the month when she came in for the adoption shower. We enjoyed luxurious facials (almost two hours of pure bliss) and had our nails done. It was wonderful! On Mother's Day we celebrated with Tony's family, enjoying brunch and some family time -- I think his Mom enjoyed the day. For me it was year #2 as a "kind of mom"...not actively being a Mom to anyone, but yet having this little guy that I already feel protective of, worry about and love deeply. Barring anything completely unforeseen, next year we will (finally) celebrate fully!

There are a few minor updates on the adoption process, though they could change at any time. Things are still very much in flux and I'm trying to take the updates with a grain of salt. More of a "yeah, we'll see what actually happens" kind of attitude. Here are a few things we've learned recently:

1. The family court judges have come together and decided that all families will be required to appear in court (both the adopting mother and father). The first group of families to fall under this decision will begin traveling soon as they have court dates in June. These are some of the families still remaining from 2012.

2. Given the requirement to appear in court, it is believed that we will need to make one long trip (4-5 weeks) or two trips of about 1 week each, with 3-4 weeks in between. Either way, we will only get to see Oliver 2 or 3 times; he won't be able to stay with us in Korea even if we chose to stay for the 4-5 weeks.

After this first group of families goes through the process, more will be known about the travel needs and whether the adoption will be finalized in Korea or here in the U.S. Since the beginning of international adoption in Korea, adoptions have been finalized in the family's home country (and for the U.S. this happens 5-6 months after coming home). With the addition of the Family Court process, it is possible that we'll be able to finalize everything before returning home, which would be fantastic.

So, we continue to wait. Long ago our goal was to celebrate Oliver's 2nd birthday with him here in Minnesota, but we have had to let that dream go. There's just no way we'll be with him for his special day. Therefore, we have put together a 2nd birthday package that we hope will be there in time for his birthday. Here's what the package includes:

• "Good Night Moon" and "Guess How Much I Love You" children's books; both in Korean and both books we also have here in English. We hope that the pictures and overall feel of the book will be similar and might help him feel comfortable as he learns English.
• Remote Control learning toy with songs, numbers, phrases and more
• Puerto Rico frog brought back from a cruise his Oma and Opa went on this past spring.
• Tube of toddler toothpaste (which was actually a shower gift!).
• Happy 2nd Birthday Card. 

Package #8 for Oliver's 2nd Birthday

Poor Simba...he'll just have to wait

What wasn't included? Simba. We were very sad that Simba didn't fit, though we had high hopes of stuffing him in! Instead we will keep it for him and give it to him in person. Or, if the wait is still several months long, we will try to send just Simba to him (he might fit if he's the only thing in the bag!). 

I could barely seal the bag!

I never thought I would have to stuff so much into one small bag. Package #8....wow!

Adoption Shower

Over a year ago, when Tony and I shared our news with his family, one of the first things they said was that they would like to throw us a shower to celebrate our new little one. I was so touched that they wanted to do this! Throughout our journey to parenthood there have been a number of things I've mourned. One of them was the opportunity to share in the various aspects of having a baby that most of my women friends have gotten to experience (and talk about with other moms). While there's little I can do to experience pregnancy or to have my own "birth story," celebrating with an adoption shower was just what I needed (and wanted)! Plus, let's be honest. A shower is far easier than growing and delivering a child! 

Fast forward to Sunday, May 5th. Adoption shower day! Hosted by four fabulous women: Kris (Tony's Aunt), Sarah (Kris' daughter-in-law and the one who bravely offered her home as the location), Britta (Tony's cousin/Kris' daughter), and Kristina (Kris' other daughter-in-law). Here's a photo of the lovely hostesses:

Left to Right: Kris, Sarah, Tonya, Britta, Kristina

Joining in the Minnesota celebration was a lone Missouri representative...my Mom (a.k.a. Oliver's Nana). I was so excited to have her visit, and so glad she could be part of the shower. Here's a photo of the "Moms": Barb (a.k.a. Oliver's Oma; Tony's Mom), the mom-to-be, and Debbie (my mom!):

Left to Right: Barb, Tonya, Debbie

There were quite a number of people at the shower and Sarah was an unflappable hostess! The food was plentiful, the decorations personal and adorable, and everyone was having a great time. As I've posted a few times recently, Tony and I have been on a roller coaster lately and it's been difficult to keep things moving, putting one foot in front of the other. This shower, and the chance to celebrate with and be encouraged by a mass of people who love our family, means more to me than words can express. Tony and I are truly blessed.

And Oliver...he's truly spoiled! Here are just a few photos of what our family and friend's generosity looks like:

Duplos!

Bath toys (we got a lot of those!)

His first fishing rod

We're going to start him early...

Now he can look like dad with his own flannel shirt

Hand knit socks, made by a friend. Very special!

He now has at least 6 different hats!

Outdoor fun!

Last but not least, flannel pants so he can lounge with us in style

Not only did we get a chance to celebrate Oliver's (eventual) arrival, but we had an opportunity receive so many blessings from so many people. Amazing. Thank you to all who were able to join in the festivities! I know that most of my family and some of my friends live too far away to make the trek north, but we're also appreciating all of your support and encouragement during this roller coaster ride, too. 

Oliver is certainly loved!

**Note: there are photos with actual attendees featured (not just me and gifts!), but not everyone likes to have their photo up online (sorry, Becca...I didn't ask you first! You're such a good friend, I figure I can buy you a drink next time we go out!).