Update on Initial Approval

We heard back from our agency and it appears we are in the 14 day wait!! I am so relieved. I've been very worried that this final step would drag on and on. Of course our agency also said that while the official wait is 14 days, it is more like 3 weeks between learning of initial approval and hearing that we have received final approval. Bottom line...we will be with Oliver sometime yet this year. 

Of course we thought we'd be with him back in May...or June...or July (you get the idea). Never in my wildest dreams did I think we'd be up against the end of 2014 and still waiting. But the wait is nearly over!

Based on what needs to happen for our final trip, Tony and I will not be booking our flights until we receive the final approval and travel notificiation. At that time, we may leave within a couple of days, or we may find that we have to wait a bit longer in order to get a flight. We will have to wait and see.

So, good news here!

And, as I would hate to have a post with no photos, here are a couple of items we've picked up for Oliver. One we actually ordered on Amazon (after purchasing just the chopsticks in Korea -- left handed as we don't yet know if he is right or left handed (he's used both); now he will have a right and a left so all bases are covered).

Proro is a Korean cartoon; this is a training chopstick and spoon set with a carrying case.

A few toys we picked up on our first trip.
The set of small cars and figures on the left will likely be saved for a later date.

Initial Approval

We (finally) heard from our agency today and we have received initial approval from the court! Actually, we received initial approval on 11/28 (Thanksgiving), but our local agency was closed for the holiday. Now, before you get too excited and before you complete the "when do you leave" question, know this:
We do not know if we are in the 14 day wait OR if the Judge will be taking any additional steps before our case enters the 14 day wait.

That's right. Surprise surprise....we still don't know what's going on! At least we are used to living in the unknown. I'll update when we know more, but until then I will be incessantly checking my email. :)

In other news, the post-Korea cold went from bad to...well...bad. I'm glad we had the long weekend as I needed some quality time not moving around, hunkered under the blankets. However, I also needed to get a lot done in those four days! So, busy times ahead (and still trying to overcome this darn cold). I'd hate to leave on a sour note, though, so check out this handsome guy!

Dad is pushing Oliver on a little plane

We played a lot of in and out of the car.

Home & More Photos

Tony and I made it home safely and without delay on Sunday. We left Japan at 3:30 pm Sunday and, after about 12 hours in the air, landed in Minneapolis at 11:00 am Sunday. Neither of us slept on the plane and we both tried to stay awake until a reasonable bed time, meaning we were up for about 30 hours. Yuck! We both worked Monday so we jumped right into the thick of things. Unfortunately I woke up sick Tuesday morning (and thanks to a heavy work load at the office and a few comments from the boss about the difficulty of my absence, no opportunity to stay home). Between jet lag, illness, thanksgiving travel and more...I am only now able to sit down and post a few more photos from our stay.

So, let's go back in time...back to Korea. Now that we are home I have better access to the photos Tony took, so we will begin with a few pictures from our first meeting with Oliver:

That's me, photo bombing my own son!

So happy we had interactive time during our first meeting.

The elephant backpack was a hit! He didn't want to leave it with us. He is so cute.

And our second meeting:

We played in-and-out, in-and-out of the car quite a bit.

A little Daddy and Oliver time

When we weren't visiting with Oliver or going to court, we were able to play tourist. We made our way to a number of areas of Seoul, mostly via the subway. Seoul is a massive city, and a beautiful combination of old and new. We would be walking down a multi-lane, busy street lined with tall modern skyscrapers and boom -- there's a temple. Amid the modern, there's the historic and traditional with cars driving by and all. What a sight! In general the people were friendly and the city was reasonably clean and safe. English was not a common second language, but for the most part we managed okay. Here are just a few photos from our trips around the city:

This temple compound was very large, and just on the edge of a bustling business district.
The mountains are in the background. 

Part of the same temple compound. Beautiful and peaceful.

The North Seoul Tower sits on top of a mountain right in the middle of the city.
We didn't go up into the tower, but from the area around the tower you can see a vast amount of the city.
 It was a great spot to get an idea of just how large the city is. 

A view from the top

Tony and I had a lovely Thanksgiving with family. Unfortunately we have not yet heard any update on our family's case, so we are still waiting for initial approval. Given the holiday and now the weekend, we are hopeful for news early next week. In the meantime we are both looking to start feeling 100% again -- jet lag for both of us, and for me this cold that doesn't want to ease up.

I hope you have all enjoyed Thanksgiving and are having a wonderful weekend!

Our Second Meeting Plus More Photos from the First

Let me start by saying wow....I am so glad I finally got some sleep! Tony and I have been trying to follow the time change rule and have been trying to go to bed at a regular time. Unfortunately I have trouble falling asleep, and we both can't seem to stay asleep. Last night we went to bed just after 10:30 and we managed to fall back asleep after waking up during the night. We didn't get up until 7! Feeling a bit refreshed.

So, it's 7:30 am and nothing here is open yet. Seoul is more of a night city than a morning city, with the nearby Dunkin Donuts being the only restaurant that opens before 8:00 or 9:00. I'm doing a load of laundry (and hoping it turns out. No idea which was the detergent, no idea which of the three slots you put it in....so I put a little in each. No idea how much to use and only a minimal idea of what setting we are washing on!). Drinking the instant coffee and thought I would post a few photos.

Here are a couple of photos from our first meeting that the social worker took. Our first family pictures!

We have learned that when someone takes a picture, he puts his fingers up like this to say "take a picture"

This photo was taken very early in the first meeting. He was just beginning to warm to us.

Yesterday we had some time to explore Seoul before our second meeting. We were up by 4:45 and both really tired, so our adventures began early but groggy. Unfortunately some of the places we planned to visit had listed their hours of operation incorrectly. We arrived and found ourselves with nothing open. But don't worry! The local Costco opens at 8:00 a.m.!! So, on to Costco we went. Tony was pretty excited to check it out. Overall it was similar to ours (though two levels instead of one huge level). Of course some food items are different, but many are the same. They did have a much larger meat section, small liquor section and far more sample stations than I've seen before. We tried their version of pizza (similar but not the same) and a bulgolgi bake in the cafe as well. We didn't buy anything -- hard to lug a Costco sized item around on the subway. But, it was fun to check out both the Costco and another neighborhood.

Our second meeting was at 2:00. We got into the elevator to go down to the first floor, but someone else on board had selected a stop on the third floor. When it opened, Oliver was in the waiting area -- and he recognized us! It was hard not to jump out right then! When we did get back up to see him, we went into a different play room that had a bunch of toys. Our second meeting didn't go as smoothly as our first. To start, he was all over. Literally. He went from toy to toy to toy, never stopping and never wanting to play. He tried to climb on top of a big car (very dangerous) and would not be deterred. He was being very willful and was not as interested in us this time. Honestly, after 20 minutes we were both exhausted!

He did settle down for a few minutes here and there so we could interact with him more directly. He also hit and punched me in the face, threw a full on temper tantrum, ran away from us and would not listen to anyone -- us, the social worker or his foster mom. Overall it was a difficult visit and one that left Tony and I feeling more "uh oh" than "how sweet!". We did get kisses and hugs at the end, but boy are we going to have our hands full. Here are a few photos from the meeting.

He knows how to use the iPhone -- how to select pictures, move between them and enlarge them. Here he is demanding we give him my phone. He was stomping around with his hand up trying to get it.

And here he is still demanding it, getting more and more upset that we aren't giving in.
We can tell he's used to getting things this way.

A moment of quiet interaction. Didn't last long, but it was nice to play with him!

Today we are doing laundry and then going to see one of the temples and some of the historic areas of Seoul.  Tonight we are doing a "Korean Nights" food tour with a few folks that should be fun. Tomorrow we also have the full day to do as we wish. Friday we have our court appointment. We learned that we have the strict judge that often slows the entire process down by weeks and weeks. We are praying that our case is not one of those. 

The Moment

Each parent is blessed with the opportunity of meeting their child for the first time. Regardless of how the child came to be a part of the family, there is that moment when you first lay eyes on them or first feel their skin against yours. For Tony and I, that moment happened today at approximately 9:55 a.m. 

Before I get to the moment, let me talk a bit about getting ready for the big meeting. As previously posted, we brought many gifts with us. Luckily they all fit in our luggage and they made the trip without breaking, leaking or crushing. We got them bagged and ready to go, along with Oliver's elephant back pack full of toys, snacks and more.

Our meeting was scheduled to begin with paperwork at 9:30. Since we were conducting official agency business, we were instructed to dress nicely but in something we could get on the floor and play around in. For this meeting I decided to wear a necklace from my Grandma Ev; we also brought a beanie baby that was given to my during college from my Grams, so both of my grandmother's were part of the big day. 

There are two wonderful, warm and caring families staying on the same floor as us, and one of the women kindly snapped a photo of us just before we went downstairs. Every second that went by brought more anxiety and excitement, and this photo was taken a mere 5 minutes before we met our social worker at Eastern Social Welfare Society. Here we are, one final photo of us before this whole parenthood thing becomes even more real!

We were greeted in the office by Mrs. Shin, who has worked with Oliver and his foster mother since he was first placed in her care. She is a sweet, kind and patient woman and we are so glad to have her involved in Oliver's life. After completing the visa paperwork, we were taken upstairs for the big meeting. We were running a bit ahead of schedule and didn't know they were already here. As the elevator doors opened onto the third floor we saw a woman and child sitting on the couch in the common area. Both faces we had seen countless times before, now here in the flesh. Immediately, his foster mother "introduced" us as Umma and Appa (Mommy and Daddy in Korean), though he didn't react to us much and just wanted to get down and run around. So our moment occurred in the common area of the third floor at Easter Social Welfare Society as we stepped off an elevator. Unexpected, but very welcomed!

We expected him to be timid of us at first, and he was. As much as we wanted to scoop him up and cuddle him, we held back and just stayed near him. The two big ice breakers were stickers and bubbles. He started with the stickers, putting them on his foster mom's face. She was wonderful and kept encouraging him to stick them on us (she encouraged him throughout the meeting to go to us, to play with us, etc.). Once we brought out the bubbles he really starting warming up to us. Here's a very cute photo of him blowing bubbles (in the background you can see his social worker, Mrs. Shin).

Mastering the Art of Blowing Bubbles

Overall, the time together was amazing. I haven't done the meeting justice here, but truthfully I am still a bit under the weather and it's very late here. I'm going to summarize the rest of the meeting and sign off with photos.We get to see him tomorrow for a second (and final) visit. I promise to share more detailed thoughts and emotions in another post soon.

During the meeting we:

- Played more bubbles

- Chewed gum he gave us (should a 28 month old really be chewing gum??)

- Ate the peanut cookie he fed us

- Held him on our laps

- Picked him up

- Were given hugs and kisses...multiple times! (**melted my heart)

- Read a book

- Played with more bubbles

- Rolled a ball, a truck and a car back and forth

- realized how exhausting a toddler is going to be and how willful he is! 

Tony and I are both so happy to finally meet him. I can't wait to see him tomorrow! For now, it's off to bed. Here are the final pictures for tonight. 

Bubbles were a big hit. Thank you Kate for having an extra bottle on hand!

A Final Set

Today we received the final set of photos before meeting Oliver. For some reason we were only sent two photos, both taken on November 7th. I'll admit, knowing we get to meet him face to face in the matter of days made this update less exciting than normal. And while we are on the subject of meeting him, we'll be laying eyes on him in 5 days and 5 hours, or 125 hours. Eek!

So, here are the final photos....the last ones before we know what his voice sounds like. Before we know how big (or small) he is compared to us. Before we see that full head of hair for ourselves. Before our family grows.

28 Months

Photos! Photos!

After a three month hiatus on photo updates, Tony and I are jumping for joy that we were sent an update today! As usual, we received three photos. Surprisingly, however, one of the photos was taken during his September visit -- we didn't know they were even taking photos during the hiatus! In this photo he is wearing a top we sent him (yeah!) and he is opening his birthday package. I am so thankful that the social worker thought to capture this particular visit, even though she didn't have to. It means a lot to me.

The other two photos are from October and you can see how tall he is! 37.4" tall...or as Tony said, "another 11 inches and he'll be able to ride most kid rides at Valleyfair." Here's one of the photos -- see his page for the final one.

I can't wait to meet  him!

24 Month Update (a.k.a. New Photos)

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to present a very active two year old Oliver [drumroll please...]!

Looks like he's full of energy.

Such a big boy!

He can work a door handle...guess we better get to kid-proofing the house!

He has grown so much since we first saw the referral. He weighed 7.7 lbs at birth and was about 20.2 inches long. By the time we 'met' him in January 2012 (meaning when we saw his information in the referral packet), he was more than 22 lbs and 29 inches tall. 

Today he has a massive amount of hair, is nearly 32 lbs and is officially over 3 feet tall! He's had a busy couple of years. 

Happy 2nd Birthday!

Oliver is officially 2 years old -- a growing and active little boy! To celebrate we enjoyed a small family dinner (Uncle Mike, Oma and Opa were on hand) complete with an ice cream cake and gifts. It wasn't exactly a kid-focused party (the guys did a bourbon tasting and enjoyed a pre-dinner cigar), but it was a good distraction from what could have been a rough day.

When we celebrated his first birthday last summer (see this post), we had high hopes that his second birthday would be a big bash here in town. If not a big bash, at least a quiet bash with our newly home son. Not having him here makes it bittersweet and we really hope his foster family treated him to a special day. Since we didn't have a cute little boy to take photos of, you'll have to be entertained by other shots:

Oliver and his gifts!

Oma & Opa with the "loot": a remote control car, beret and Leapfrog Laptop from them and Simba from us

Tony picked out the cake: a DQ Ice Cream Cake. Maybe next year I can do something homemade!

In other news, Tony and I drove down to St. Louis over the 4th of July. It was great to see family and friends. For the 4th, we headed to the Webster Groves fair (one we frequented when I was young) for rides and fireworks. Tony, who has a fear of carnival rides, was convinced by our niece and nephew to give the Tilt-a-Whirl a try. Here are a couple pre-ride shots as they get ready to tilt and whirl!

Ian's ready to go and Brooke is cuddled up next to Uncle Tony

Everyone is excited!

In addition to seeing family and friends, we also brought back my nephew's bedroom set for Oliver to use. Our little one now has a twin size captain's bed with drawers on one side and an open little person play area on the other; a mattress; a chest of drawers; a book shelf; and the necessary safety gates for the bed. He also has a box full of GeoTrax train supplies to set up underneath is bed. Very cool! We are happy to have some of the essential items (plus the trains). Now we just need to finish our lower level enough to be able to get the house carpeted so we can set everything up!

I hope you all had a great 4th of July holiday and that the summer is going well. 

23 Months: He's Nearly 2!

My email stalking has paid off as we just got new photos of Oliver! I can't quite explain how exciting and emotional it is to receive the email (or how frustrating it is when one doesn't arrive when expected). After days (or more) of constantly checking for new messages, when I see the subject line and the sender, my heart leaps. My chest tightens a touch. My eyes widen and sometimes a little tear forms. My breath catches and there's a audible gasp. I can't wait to open the email and yet I often wait for a second, enough time to text or email Tony to have him check his own account too.

Then finally...the reveal. The three pictures. Usually action shots, often not clear pictures of his face. But it's him (except for that one month where I just wasn't sure; see this post for more). And I'm so happy to see him. And so sad to have missed more time with him.

Once we get the photos, there's a flurry of editing, uploading (so we can print off copies), sending them to the grand parents, and of course posting them on the blog! 

This month's photos show him with the items from our 7th care package (not his birthday package, but the one just before that). As Tony knows, I'm a stickler about clean teeth, so it warms my heart that one of the photos is him "brushing" (okay, chewing) with the toothbrush we sent! 

It's hard to believe that next month he will be two. Click over to his page for the other photos we received.

Package #8 and an Update

Since my last post we celebrated Mother's Day. For some of my friends it was their first day celebrating as a Mom (and more than one ended up with sick kiddos! welcome to mommy-hood), and for others it wasn't their first year as a Mom but the first year celebrating with a new little one in the family. Congrats to all of my Mom friends!

I was blessed to celebrate with my Mom in person this year, though earlier in the month when she came in for the adoption shower. We enjoyed luxurious facials (almost two hours of pure bliss) and had our nails done. It was wonderful! On Mother's Day we celebrated with Tony's family, enjoying brunch and some family time -- I think his Mom enjoyed the day. For me it was year #2 as a "kind of mom"...not actively being a Mom to anyone, but yet having this little guy that I already feel protective of, worry about and love deeply. Barring anything completely unforeseen, next year we will (finally) celebrate fully!

There are a few minor updates on the adoption process, though they could change at any time. Things are still very much in flux and I'm trying to take the updates with a grain of salt. More of a "yeah, we'll see what actually happens" kind of attitude. Here are a few things we've learned recently:

1. The family court judges have come together and decided that all families will be required to appear in court (both the adopting mother and father). The first group of families to fall under this decision will begin traveling soon as they have court dates in June. These are some of the families still remaining from 2012.

2. Given the requirement to appear in court, it is believed that we will need to make one long trip (4-5 weeks) or two trips of about 1 week each, with 3-4 weeks in between. Either way, we will only get to see Oliver 2 or 3 times; he won't be able to stay with us in Korea even if we chose to stay for the 4-5 weeks.

After this first group of families goes through the process, more will be known about the travel needs and whether the adoption will be finalized in Korea or here in the U.S. Since the beginning of international adoption in Korea, adoptions have been finalized in the family's home country (and for the U.S. this happens 5-6 months after coming home). With the addition of the Family Court process, it is possible that we'll be able to finalize everything before returning home, which would be fantastic.

So, we continue to wait. Long ago our goal was to celebrate Oliver's 2nd birthday with him here in Minnesota, but we have had to let that dream go. There's just no way we'll be with him for his special day. Therefore, we have put together a 2nd birthday package that we hope will be there in time for his birthday. Here's what the package includes:

• "Good Night Moon" and "Guess How Much I Love You" children's books; both in Korean and both books we also have here in English. We hope that the pictures and overall feel of the book will be similar and might help him feel comfortable as he learns English.
• Remote Control learning toy with songs, numbers, phrases and more
• Puerto Rico frog brought back from a cruise his Oma and Opa went on this past spring.
• Tube of toddler toothpaste (which was actually a shower gift!).
• Happy 2nd Birthday Card. 

Package #8 for Oliver's 2nd Birthday

Poor Simba...he'll just have to wait

What wasn't included? Simba. We were very sad that Simba didn't fit, though we had high hopes of stuffing him in! Instead we will keep it for him and give it to him in person. Or, if the wait is still several months long, we will try to send just Simba to him (he might fit if he's the only thing in the bag!). 

I could barely seal the bag!

I never thought I would have to stuff so much into one small bag. Package #8....wow!

22 Months and Growing!

This morning we received an early Mother's Day gift -- three new photos of Oliver! 

He turned 22 months on Tuesday, which is when these photos were taken. He still has a full head of hair, is now over 30 pounds and is nearly 3 feet tall. WOW! How in the world am I going to be able to carry him around? It's not as if I've gotten used to carrying a baby...then a one year old...and now a 30lb little man. I'm going from zero to 30+ overnight! I may need to look at buying a sack of sand or something. :)

Here's a sneak peak, click on his page for more. Also coming soon -- a post on the adoption shower Tony's family hosted last weekend. What a blessing it was to be able to celebrate with friends and family in the midst of all the craziness. 

 

21 Month Update

The last couple of weeks have been busy, though not particularly noteworthy. We are continuing to work on our lower level (door installation has been the primary focus lately), some spring cleaning has been done (even though it doesn't feel like spring yet), and we celebrated Easter with Tony's family. 

On the adoption front, we don't have much to report. As of this morning it does not seem that any of the remaining 2012 families have cleared the court portion of the process, so everyone is still waiting.

I'm sure you've seen the news coverage on North Korea and the threats and insults that are being made daily. Just today the North Koreans have suggested that all foreigners leave South Korea for their own safety. Many worldwide leaders and analysts suggest that the threats are empty -- and there is a history of empty threats being made. And while I am slightly concerned about what this could mean for the families currently in process to adoption, as well as families like ours, I am trying not to worry about it too much (yet). I pray that the threats are in fact empty and that tensions calm down soon.

But now to the good news -- Oliver is 21 months old and looks happy and healthy! We just received an update today and were glad to have photos showing him with our two most recent packages (package #6 and package #5). The books (and the pen he is playing with in the other photos) didn't come from us, but the cell phone, cds, blanket and monkey did.

It is nice to see that he does in fact receive our packages (though the first one was sent to our agency in mid December, so apparently it took awhile to get there!). Plus, he is so cute and we actually have some great shots of his face. Click over to the Oliver page for all of the images!

Vacation Post 4: Honolulu

Tony and I landed in Honolulu around noon on Thursday, giving us just under 30 hours before our planned departure back to "the states." We stayed on Waikiki Beach at the Moana Surfrider (using points again). The building was quite regal and the location was great, though after four nights at the luxe St. Regis it was a bit of a reality check for us both. We had two must-do activities during our stay -- hiking to the top of Diamond Head (Thursday) and visiting Pearl Harbor (Friday). 

Diamond Head State Monument
Photo from the official website

We grabbed lunch and decided that it would make the most sense for us to rent a car. While Diamond Head was within walking distance, the trail closed at 4:30 and we didn't want to miss our chance to hike up. All that was available was a tiny Fiat 500, smallest car we've ever been in -- and with that, we were off.

The hike to the crater's top edge isn't long, but it is steep with a lot of switchbacks. Along the way -- and at the top -- there are amazing views of the ocean, Waikiki Beach and Honolulu. 

A look at the interior of the crater

Waikiki Beach from the top of Diamond Head

A rare photo of both Tony and I -- with Waikiki in the background

After our hike (and a much needed shower) we roamed about Waikiki's shopping district. Having spent nearly a week on the sleepy, quiet island of Kauai, where everything closes by 9:00, it took a bit to get used to the hustle and bustle of the city. Nearly every restaurant was packed with a long wait list, but luckily we had booked a late dinner at Roy's Restaurant. After picking up a few souvenirs, we stopped for pre-dinner drinks at Ruth's Chris (the first place we found a couple of seats open at the bar). It was then on to Roy's for a fantastic meal -- I highly recommend a visit here if you're on Waikiki. And don't forget about dessert. Roy's Melting Hot Chocolate Souffle is worth the wait (even Tony, who isn't a big dessert fan, couldn't get enough of it). It was an excellent way to top off our vacation.

For our final day we had booked our visit to Pearl Harbor. We got tickets online a month earlier to ensure that we'd get to see it (visiting the U.S.S. Arizona Memorial is free, but the tour groups fill quickly so they offer a chance to reserve your spot online). The whole experience takes a bit of planning -- from making sure you can get a ticket, to leaving your purse/camera bag/back pack in the car as nothing is allowed in. All of the effort was worth it. 

The U.S.S. Missouri is on the left; the U.S.S. Arizona Memorial is the white structure on the right

I found the museum and displays very interesting and learned quite a bit about the planning and attack on December 7, 1941. I've read several WWII-related books for book club recently and I think those really helped to fill in some of the details at Pearl Harbor as well (a very interesting non-fiction book is Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand). 

At the start of the tour you are ushered into an auditorium to watch "World War II Valor in the Pacific," a short video that combines historic and modern-day footage of Pearl Harbor as it dives into the details of the attack. You then board a ferry across the harbor to the memorial. It's an interesting place...and a bit eerie, as you consider the hundreds of bodies buried beneath you.

The Memorial Wall at the U.S.S. Arizona memorial

We did not get an opportunity to check out the other things in Pearl Harbor as we needed to get back to the hotel and get ready to depart. I am so glad we had the chance to see what we did, though. Tony and I both found it to be well worth the stop in Honolulu. 

We didn't visit the U.S.S. Missouri, but even at a distance it looks impressive

A final picture in Hawaii -- at Pearl Harbor

Our last few hours on the island didn't go as planned, but did eventually board the plane for our trip home. We had a wonderful vacation and I feel blessed that we were able to do it. This is our final big vacation before we become a family of three -- and our next long flight will be the one that changes our lives forever. :)