Home

We are home!

22 hours of travel with a sick child but we are finally home. Overall the trip went better than we thought it might; not great but not a nightmare either. The flight from Seoul to Dallas takes over 13 hours. Oliver was a handful when awake and refused to play with any toys or play any imaginary games. Luckily he slept for a few hours. I will admit that I had my first mommy meltdown ... Crying included. Nothing like crying into my toddler's shoulder after he hit me and pulled my hair to humble me! Here's a picture of him exploring the remote. 

When we arrived in Dallas Oliver became a US citizen! Once we deplaned we were routed to the non-US citizens line, then escorted into a small office for processing. I guess the paperwork will be mailed to us later, but there was no fanfare and we were on our way. We didn't have much time in Dallas but right before we boarded Tony took this picture:

It filled us with hope for a smooth flight home. Boy were we wrong! It was a very tough trip home. We all survived, though, and luckily no one was in the row in front or behind us. 

When we came home Tony's parents and my friend Becca surprised us with balloons, an It's a Boy sign out front, meals in freezer, gift card, groceries, homemade cookies and a cute display:

Oliver had fun exploring the house and didn't fall asleep until almost 3am. Today he slept most of the day. If he wasn't sick we would have worked harder to keep him awake but poor guy is so tired he just keeps laying down. He's actually already asleep again. Here's one final shot that Tony took tonight:

Right now it's hard to know how many of our issues are related to illness, the transition, grief or just being a toddler. Hopefully over the next few days he starts to feel better and feel more comfortable. That's it for now. We are still laying low with Oliver not feeling well, but can't wait to get his reaction to the large amount of snow we have!!

Thankful

Oliver's temp is finally down! And he is still sleeping, something he didn't do much of yesterday with all of his coughing. We are so relieved and grateful. Since he's not up yet we don't know how he's doing otherwise, but the fever breaking is an answer to prayer. 

We've received so many wonderful and sincere offers of help--thank you! I'm not ignoring the offers, just a bit preoccupied with everything here to think too far ahead. Once we get back we will likely take you up on the offers! 

One final note, today Oliver (or rather ChaeHa) becomes a U.S. citizen. So wonderful!

And a photo to close us out (watching The Lion King in korean):

P.S.  A big shout out to our awesome neighbors for plowing our drive. THANKS!

Christmas Day

 Christmas Day is winding down. Unfortunately Oliver is still pretty sick, and now he hates taking his medicine too (so much so he gets himself so worked up he can't hardly keep it down). Ugh. So hard on him ... and on new Mom and Dad. Both our Moms have helped, but it's scary being away from home and unable to really communicate with Oliver.

We are praying for a Christmas miracle that he wakes up fully healthy tomorrow, since we are set to head to the airport at 2:00.  Please pray!

As for Christmas, a few gifts were left for Oliver this morning. He was scared of opening them at first, but with a little help from Tony he warmed up for the last two. 

We also enjoyed a traditional Christmas cake -- Oliver got a little too (it's nearly the only thing he would eat today...yet another "winning " parent move). 

I hope you had a great Christmas! We are going to sneak a bit of packing in and then I need to crash. Hardly any sleep last night because of the poor sick little one. 

Low Key Day -- Update

Our low key day in turned into a trip back to the agency to see the doctor. Oliver's temp went up and I couldn't tell if the cough med had a fever reducer, so I was pretty worried. I emailed our local social worker to see if she knew what the cough medicine had or what we should do if he got more sick. She suggested seeing their doctor. With Christmas tomorrow we felt it best to go in. When Tony got back (with larger diapers, a traditional korean Christmas cake and the yummy street food fish) we headed out. 

The doctor says he has a cold with a fever. No ear infection or other worry.  He gave us three medicines (getting these through Dallas Thursday will be interesting. The bottles are handwritten and they didn't have any paperwork to give us!). 

We are back home and the fever has broken. He ate a good meal and has been playing again. And still coughing. :(

Nothing like being sick in a foreign country to scare a new parent!

Low Key Christmas Eve

NOTE: Due to a technical issue, some of my posts are being published out of order. This one was originally written and thought to be published on Tuesday morning.

It's nearly 1:00 on Christmas Eve afternoon. We had planned to go to the children's museum today, but Oliver woke up stuffy and has been coughing a fair amount. His appetite and energy level is much lower too. So it's a low key day in for us. 

Tony is amazing at finding what we need. Thanks to my mom's suggestions we knew what to look for and Tony headed to the drug store for children's cough and cold. No idea what brand it is, but the pharmacist spoke enough English that he could get us the right meds and he wrote the dosage in the box for us. 45 minutes later, here's the little guy:

I'm enjoying all of the snuggles though would give anything for him to feel better. Seems I have a touch of the bug too, unfortunately. Since he likes to share all of our drinks, it's no surprise. 

We had some major grieving after nap time yesterday. Just heartbreaking. Sobbing and wailing for a long time. And a lot of moments where he seems sad throughout each day. 

Most of the time -- when he's feeling good -- we just have non stop energy. 

Tony has been amazing at taking care of us both. He's been all over town for food, diapers, clothes, blanket, luggage, meds and more. And today he came back with egg toasts for Oliver and I (the street food I really liked...still wishing I could get another fish but haven't found any yet). And Tony has made or gone out to get nearly every meal for us. I could not do this without him and feel so blessed to be in this with him. 

 If Oliver feels better tomorrow we might try the children's museum, but we will see. Otherwise it will be a quiet Christmas in too. We brought a few gifts but we don't have a good way to make it more Christmasy here. Tony did buy enough food to keep us in rice and meat for far longer than we will be here, and I'm sure he'll cook up something yummy for us (we've had lots of meat and rice, which Oliver seems to love, so we eat it often. He pigs out on it, even using his Pororo Chopsticks sometimes)!

I wish you all a great Christmas Eve!

U.S. Embassy

Oliver has been with us for over 3 days now. We are most certainly in survival mode, and most parents of toddlers would probably have a lot of laughs at our attempt at parenting! We are truly winging it here...and I can't tell you how badly I wish we at least spoke the same language. Sometimes he just gets so frustrated at us because we can't make out what he's saying. It has to be so hard for him. 

Speaking of hard for him, sleeping is probably the time when he mourns the most, usually ending in a tantrum and then sleep. Last night there wasn't a tantrum, but it was even worse as he was just sad and confused and angry (and up until after midnight). So hard. Luckily he just fell asleep for his daily nap without a tantrum or any real fussing! Yeah!!

The first two nights bath time was something he wanted and was excited for. Yesterday we hit the "kiddie" pool, which wasn't as shallow as we would have liked. But, with limited opportunity to help him burn off energy, we figured we'd try it (holding on to him, etc.). He did slip once and got water in his face a few times when he wasn't expecting it. Not sure if that's what changed bath time, but he refused both last night and again this morning. Tonight he's taking a bath no matter what, but we have been trying so hard to be careful of our battles -- we desperately need to build trust, so if he's afraid and we force it, not sure how that will impact our relationship. I guess we will find out.

Today was our U.S. Embassy visit. I won't even start on how our morning went, how long everything takes us, how when Tony suggested running some errands early this morning I panicked and asked him to wait (I don't know how to feed Oliver and I, take my shower and get ready, get Oliver ready and get all of us ready for the embassy by myself!), etc. Bottom line -- we made it to our appointment on time! We got to go to the front of the long line, turn in our cell phones and head upstairs. Oliver was so full of energy he was all over the place in the waiting room! When our turn came we were asked to swear that our answers were truthful (regarding the online forms we completed on our last trip). Tony's fingerprint was taken. Then we "sat" back down (or ran around after a crazy two year old). In just under an hour we were all set! Our visa packet is in hand -- to be opened only by the U.S. officials when we land. We also have his passport! It's a Korean passport, but he will become a U.S. Citizen when the plane hits the ground. Yeah!

Apparently the crazy running around and multiple tantrums didn't deter us enough and we stopped for lunch at a Pork Cutlet and Curry place on our way home (we know he likes crispy meat and rice, and it seems easier to try to eat than soup or noodles served in soup). Our very first attempt at eating out! It went....okay. I honestly don't know how people do this. It was so hard, and tiring, and I basically inhaled what I thought was an okay amount of food while I tried to keep Oliver from getting out of control, out of the seat, or into something he shouldn't get into.

Oliver and I have been bonding pretty well. He and Tony are hot and cold. They have lots of fun times playing together, and sometimes Oliver will go to him for cuddles, kisses (po-pos), let Tony feed him, etc. But he also tends to literally push Tony away or refuse to let him feed, cuddle and kiss him. I'm sure in the long run it will all be okay, but Tony and I both expected that I'd be the one he pushed away. 

Anyway, nap time is only for another hour or so and I could use a minute of rest before we get back to it. And though we are now free to leave the country with Oliver, we are still going to stay through Christmas. A few more quieter days here will be nice, and while our Christmas here won't be much of anything special (I can't seem to find anything special to do, or to eat/cook), it will be nice to be together as a family. I'm pushing for us to try this Seoul Kids Museum tomorrow where they apparently have lots of fun things for kids of all ages -- we could use a new place to burn energy and it is good for Tony and I to try to get used to this whole going out with a kid thing. 

Off to rest! Hope you are all enjoying this wonderful Christmas week. While it doesn't feel like Christmas for us, we are certainly enjoying the best gift we could have asked for.

Welcome to Parenthood

NOTE: Due to a technical issue, some of my posts are being published out of order. This one was originally written and thought to be published on Sunday morning.

Well, Tony and I have been parents for two nights now. Thanks to jetlag we are up early today (even though he didn't go to sleep until midnight!) but yet we are so tired. And his diaper must have leaked in the bed! 

We are vying for parents of the year as we've been to McDonalds twice (he likes mcnuggets, but we don't really give him fries....he gets fruit -- and it's the only menu nearby with kid friendly food that we can read), he burnt his finger on a light bulb, I got poop all over me, he peed on the bathroom floor, and we learned he isn't used to having jeans against his legs (they must put him in two layers). Oh, and he has a big appetite!

I finally know he seems to be a 3T and is skinnier than he appeared with all those layers. 

And now I have to run. No time! He's getting antsy so we are going to check out the pool. More to come!

I'm a Mom

!!!!

Here's our final pre-parenthood photo :

It's official! We have final court approval, all of the agency paperwork in hand and the visa interview scheduled Monday afternoon. We also have OUR SON!

He's napping now and Tony is scouring he city for diapers (they didn't give us any and we can't easily find what size he's in either). The custody transfer was highly emotional. When we arrived at the agency we completed some paperwork and learned that we have the final approval from the court. Then we went upstairs to see Oliver and receive a prayer by the head of the agency. When we saw Oliver he literally ran down the hall to us calling out for Appa and Umma (dad and mom). Wow!

The Foster Mom was very emotional during the prayer. Clearly this was very hard for her. We hugged a couple of times and I am so grateful to have met her. Her son also came (her husband is ill so he couldn't come). 

She brought three big bags of stuff. Toys, favorite books, favorite snacks and drinks, a few clothes, a pair of shoes and more. She also gave us some photos of him at different ages, a USB drive (haven't looked to see what's on it yet), his hanbook (first birthday costume) and a bible from their pastor. Even some socks for Tony and I. She sent wipes but no diapers so assuming it was overlooked. She really tried to get us set up! Very touching. 

Our goodbye was so hard. Her adult son was just as emotional as she was. We shared the van with another family and their son was calm and quiet. Oliver wailed, flailed, screamed and sobbed the majority of the drive. We are back now and he finally fell asleep. Before that, I snapped this picture. 

I don't know what the next few days will be like, but we are praying that God will help ease the pain this transition is causing and that He will help guide Tony and I. We will need a lot of help!

Merry early Christmas! 

P.S.  We aren't quite ready to make the news public so we are still keeping it off. Facebook. 

Travels and Nerves

I'm in a taxi heading to our hotel, full of exhaustion, anxiety, a queasy stomach from the exhaustion and anxiety, and a whole lot of nervousness and feelings of being ill prepared for tomorrow morning. 

Our travels today went as well as we could expect. One close call on a connection and one delayed flight, but we made it (and so did our bags)! Our second two flights were in first class, including the 11+ hour trek. Here's a picture of Tony and I toasting before take-off. Also a picture of the comfort kit full of helpful goodies for the long flight. I loved the lay flat seats! I couldn't sleep too soundly but did get some rest. 

We won't get to the hotel until almost midnight. We will need to head to the agency early tomorrow as we need to be there by 10:30. I am utterly terrified of what is about to happen, and sad for the loss Oliver and his foster family are facing. A little exited too, but as I type this fear and uncertainty are outweighing joy and excitement. 

We are still praying that our final approval comes this week so we can do the visa interview Monday. I will update more when I can. 

Wednesday Morning Update

When I finally crawled into bed at midnight last night, we were packed but still didn't have a hotel booked or any other details worked out. The alarm went off at the inhuman time of 2:45 am and the 24+ hours of travel began. 

We pulled out of our driveway at 3:36; still no details worked out but now our first hotel choice came back fully booked. We got to the airport and checked in...then finally booked a hotel! Whew. One major detail down! Our first flight to Denver was 100% full and we were in the back row (so no recline and not comfortable enough to sleep). We landed on time and I'm now sitting in Denver airport waiting to go to San Francisco. 

When we landed Tony and I had two emails from our agency director. The first asked for our hotel details. The second one provided us with our schedule in Korea. 

The current plan, as coordinated on our behalf, is for us to take custody of Oliver Friday at 11:00! Then we are off to the U.S. Embassy for our visa interview on Monday at 1:00. We didn't get final approval today and can't do the visa interview until we get that. So keep praying!

Off to catch the second flight. 

And Away We Go (aka The Craziest Thing I Think I've Ever Done)

I don't have any news to report on the Final Approval front -- we are still waiting to hear that the court has signed off on our case and that we are legally a family. 

I DO have news, however, on a big decision Tony and I have made.

....We are going to Korea anyway....

Crazy, right? 

• No Final Approval (yet). 
• No scheduled transfer of custody (our agency hasn't been able to coordinate our taking custody yet, which we can do before final approval is issued, so long as we sign a million forms!).
• No place to stay (yet; that's next on our list).
• No appointment at the U.S. Embassy for our Visa Interview.

But we are going anyway. Our hope (and request) is that we can take custody Friday, with our back up request being Monday, allowing us to be a family of 3 on Christmas!

What does that all mean? It means we leave TOMORROW. Yes, that's right. We booked our flights today and board our first leg for a 5:50 a.m. departure tomorrow. Our trek out there will be filled with stops (Denver, San Francisco, Narita (Japan) then Seoul) and will take us about 24 hours of traveling, plus the 15 hours time difference. We land in Seoul Thursday night. 

Thanks to Tony's talent using miles and points, we are flying first class (!) on United for the final 3 legs (including the long trip from CA to Japan). Not necessarily the itinerary we had hoped for, but out of pocket the flights are now about $4400 one way -- in economy -- and even then there's not much available. 'Tis the Season!

I can't say we are as ready as I'd like to be. Nor can I say that I'm comfortable with this crazy plan with absolutely nothing being certain. I'm a planner, after all! I like to have my ducks all in a row...perhaps this is the appropriate introduction to parenthood? :)

So, why the impulsive, very "unlike Tony and Tonya" decision? Why such short notice? 
Basically, we don't want to go any longer without Oliver as a part of our family. While I've been struggling with the ups and downs of this whole process, it has finally caught up to Tony too. Yesterday was brutal as we waited to hear...and heard nothing. He watched as flights kept filling. And we realized that if we didn't fly in the next few days, there would be no way to spend Christmas together. 

We're taking a risk. A pretty big one, actually. With how things have gone for our family during this process, who knows how long the judge will take issuing our final approval! But, we will just have to face the potential consequences when they come...if they come. 

If you are the praying type, please please please pray that all of the pieces fall into place. Specifically:

• All of our flights there go well and we don't miss any connections
• Custody transfer gets arranged and is either Friday (ideally) or Monday
• Final approval is issued this week
• Visa interview is early next week, or Thursday at the latest
• Our visa is issued on the spot and we are cleared to return home on our scheduled flight, Friday, Dec 27th.
• And of course pray for Oliver and his Foster Family. This will be a difficult time for them.

Okay. Well, I better get back to all that needs to be done before we leave! The house isn't ready....car seats aren't installed....packing is nearly done but not fully ready....etc. I will work to keep the blog updated as best I can.

I can't believe this is happening!! 

The Sad State of Christmas in Our House

For several very good reasons, Tony and I decided to scale back Christmas at the house this year. I did put a few decorations up, but we skipped the exterior Christmas lights, I haven't baked a single Christmas treat, and biggest of all...we don't have a Christmas tree. Even Tony has commented that by not having a Christmas tree, it's hard to get into the spirit of the season. I suppose I could have agreed to buy an artificial tree this year, but if I did that I wouldn't be able to convince Tony to get a real tree in the future. 

So, instead of our traditional, beautiful tree, I put a tree skirt around our norfolk pine (each Christmas I put the tiny ornaments on, but I really miss our personal ones!). We also have so few gifts! My family gifts have already been mailed or ordered, and we are waiting until we return to buy gifts for the bigger Meyers/Lofgren Christmas celebration. As for Oliver's gifts, we will bring a few with us and will likely have that be all this year. 

This morning I realized that no matter how things fall into place, at this point there is no possible way we will be celebrating Christmas at home (unless the unthinkable happens and we don't get our final approval...not something I want to even consider). So next year we will have to go all out -- can't wait!

Saturday night Tony and I enjoyed what will be our last date night for awhile. We had dinner at Piccolo, a quaint restaurant in South Minneapolis with a very interesting dinner. The waiter snapped a picture of us, and though it didn't turn out very well (hello red eye!), the dining room was so small that it didn't feel right asking him to try again and disrupting the other diners a second time. So here's a black and white version of us getting ready to enjoy our final date night meal before we officially become parents:

Hopefully I'll be back with good news soon!

Mail, Gifts and More

Yesterday, Oliver received his first official package here at home! 

Nana and Pawpa sent a little bit of love up from St. Louis...in the form of a warm, fuzzy jacket (bought with the plane ride in mind), a handsome blue flannel shirt and a brand new pair of jeans. Oliver will be stylin! 

Yesterday brought a second Oliver-related surprise, this one from my office. They found a beautiful hand painted map of South Korea, framed and ready to be hung in his bedroom. A wonderfully thoughtful gift and a great send off from my two co-workers!

I was recently asked if there is a way for someone to get email updates when I publish a new post. As it turns out, there is! On the right side of the page there is a "Follow Me" box. Enter your email in the box, confirm the request email you are sent and voila! Next time I publish a post you'll get an email with the post (it might take a little while, but it will come through eventually). 

Well, back to obsessively checking my email! Hope to have good news soon. Stay warm!

Friends and Blessings

Our friends have truly blessed us (and continue to bless us). Each time I turn around there's a friend offering us clothes, sharing the apps that keep their little ones happy on long trips, giving us a word of encouragement, passing along a little this or that to help us out, and more. We even had a full crew on hand to help us paint Oliver's room (back in May). And last week a friend gave us an activity pack to bring along for the plane ride home (or whenever we need it). It's perfect! Very thoughtful...and already kid tested! 

This past weekend I sat down with the clothes friends have passed down, along with the clothes we were given at the shower. The clothes filled his floor and then some -- and my heart was filled with appreciation. For our friends, they probably didn't think too long about passing along these clothes. Maybe they were even happy to have them out of their house. For me, their gift has been a major help in preparing us for the unknown. It's allowed me to feel reassured and (at least a tiny bit) prepared. We now have enough clothing in a couple different sizes to get us through the short term, until we get back home and are able to better know what sizes work best. A small thing to our friends, but a huge thing to us. 

As we continue to prepare to bring Oliver home, we also continue waiting for word on the final approval. It's not yet been 14 days, so I'm enjoying a break in the usual email obsession and anxiety that comes with expecting an email "any second now." Instead I can obsess about whether we have enough toys to get us started, what we are going to get everyone for Christmas, how I'm going to get things set up properly at work, and so on. Plenty to worry about -- but also trusting God that His hand is on the situation and that if I just keep plugging away things will be okay in the end.

Update on Initial Approval

We heard back from our agency and it appears we are in the 14 day wait!! I am so relieved. I've been very worried that this final step would drag on and on. Of course our agency also said that while the official wait is 14 days, it is more like 3 weeks between learning of initial approval and hearing that we have received final approval. Bottom line...we will be with Oliver sometime yet this year. 

Of course we thought we'd be with him back in May...or June...or July (you get the idea). Never in my wildest dreams did I think we'd be up against the end of 2014 and still waiting. But the wait is nearly over!

Based on what needs to happen for our final trip, Tony and I will not be booking our flights until we receive the final approval and travel notificiation. At that time, we may leave within a couple of days, or we may find that we have to wait a bit longer in order to get a flight. We will have to wait and see.

So, good news here!

And, as I would hate to have a post with no photos, here are a couple of items we've picked up for Oliver. One we actually ordered on Amazon (after purchasing just the chopsticks in Korea -- left handed as we don't yet know if he is right or left handed (he's used both); now he will have a right and a left so all bases are covered).

Proro is a Korean cartoon; this is a training chopstick and spoon set with a carrying case.

A few toys we picked up on our first trip.
The set of small cars and figures on the left will likely be saved for a later date.

Initial Approval

We (finally) heard from our agency today and we have received initial approval from the court! Actually, we received initial approval on 11/28 (Thanksgiving), but our local agency was closed for the holiday. Now, before you get too excited and before you complete the "when do you leave" question, know this:
We do not know if we are in the 14 day wait OR if the Judge will be taking any additional steps before our case enters the 14 day wait.

That's right. Surprise surprise....we still don't know what's going on! At least we are used to living in the unknown. I'll update when we know more, but until then I will be incessantly checking my email. :)

In other news, the post-Korea cold went from bad to...well...bad. I'm glad we had the long weekend as I needed some quality time not moving around, hunkered under the blankets. However, I also needed to get a lot done in those four days! So, busy times ahead (and still trying to overcome this darn cold). I'd hate to leave on a sour note, though, so check out this handsome guy!

Dad is pushing Oliver on a little plane

We played a lot of in and out of the car.

Home & More Photos

Tony and I made it home safely and without delay on Sunday. We left Japan at 3:30 pm Sunday and, after about 12 hours in the air, landed in Minneapolis at 11:00 am Sunday. Neither of us slept on the plane and we both tried to stay awake until a reasonable bed time, meaning we were up for about 30 hours. Yuck! We both worked Monday so we jumped right into the thick of things. Unfortunately I woke up sick Tuesday morning (and thanks to a heavy work load at the office and a few comments from the boss about the difficulty of my absence, no opportunity to stay home). Between jet lag, illness, thanksgiving travel and more...I am only now able to sit down and post a few more photos from our stay.

So, let's go back in time...back to Korea. Now that we are home I have better access to the photos Tony took, so we will begin with a few pictures from our first meeting with Oliver:

That's me, photo bombing my own son!

So happy we had interactive time during our first meeting.

The elephant backpack was a hit! He didn't want to leave it with us. He is so cute.

And our second meeting:

We played in-and-out, in-and-out of the car quite a bit.

A little Daddy and Oliver time

When we weren't visiting with Oliver or going to court, we were able to play tourist. We made our way to a number of areas of Seoul, mostly via the subway. Seoul is a massive city, and a beautiful combination of old and new. We would be walking down a multi-lane, busy street lined with tall modern skyscrapers and boom -- there's a temple. Amid the modern, there's the historic and traditional with cars driving by and all. What a sight! In general the people were friendly and the city was reasonably clean and safe. English was not a common second language, but for the most part we managed okay. Here are just a few photos from our trips around the city:

This temple compound was very large, and just on the edge of a bustling business district.
The mountains are in the background. 

Part of the same temple compound. Beautiful and peaceful.

The North Seoul Tower sits on top of a mountain right in the middle of the city.
We didn't go up into the tower, but from the area around the tower you can see a vast amount of the city.
 It was a great spot to get an idea of just how large the city is. 

A view from the top

Tony and I had a lovely Thanksgiving with family. Unfortunately we have not yet heard any update on our family's case, so we are still waiting for initial approval. Given the holiday and now the weekend, we are hopeful for news early next week. In the meantime we are both looking to start feeling 100% again -- jet lag for both of us, and for me this cold that doesn't want to ease up.

I hope you have all enjoyed Thanksgiving and are having a wonderful weekend!

Eating in Korea

When Tony and I travel we always enjoy trying some of the local foods. Actually, one of my favorite things to do in a new country is visit the local grocery store. I find it fascinating! Heading to Korea, however, I was pretty nervous about what foods we would be eating. While I do like to try new foods, I also prefer to “play it safe” and eat things that I can identify, etc.  In many Asian cultures, the foods are less identifiable, at least to my Midwestern USA eyes.

I have been to a couple of Korean restaurants in the US and Tony’s family sometimes makes Korean food, so I am familiar with a few basis such as Bulgogi, Bibimbap, Japchae and Mandu. My goal for this trip was to keep an open mind and to try street food – a very common thing here, especially in the evenings. So, here are a few things I tried (I’m sorry that I don’t have photos of these, though I am sure an internet search will turn up plenty):

Bibimbap: I got to try this a few times, both in the hot stone bowl (dolsot bibimbap) and without. It is basically a rice dish with a small amount of meat and a variety of vegetables, with a spicy red pepper paste on top. I prefer the stone bowl version as the rice gets crispy and there is a soft egg on top that mixes with the spicy red pepper paste nicely.  Very similar to what I’ve had in the US and one of the easy introductions to Korean cuisine.

Bulgogi: We had this twice – once where it was made and served for us, and once where we cooked it at the table. The meat is sliced extremely thin, thinner than I’ve seen in the US. In general I find it kind of bland. They don’t marinate it in any seasonings, but rather you are to eat it with the assorted kimchi sides (and since I can’t stand kimchi, I end up eating it plain). It was fun to cook it up on our table though, and again it’s an easy introduction to Korean food.

Makgeolli: this is an alcoholic drink, similar to beer or soda. Sweet, bubbly and easy to drink. I think it’s pretty yummy, and apparently it has some health benefits to it (minerals, fibers and active enzymes). Yum!

Soju: this is a must try and a very common drink among Koreans. A bottle of soju is cheaper than soda or water! It has a higher alcohol content than beer or wine, but less than hard alcohol. Unfortunately it doesn’t have much flavor and while I don’t mind it, I don’t love it.

Koong Joong Tteokpoki: Served on a portable burner in a large pot, it is a braised dish of sliced rice cakes, meat/seafood, egg and seasonings like chili (spicy) or bean (more savory) paste. There is also a common version served as street food without all of the meat and seafood. This is where eating gets more adventurous! There are fish cakes, squid (with the little suckers), mussels and more. I ate it all except the mussels, since I don’t care for them and there weren’t too many too go around. Interesting and I know I could eat it again if needed – though I think I liked the bean paste more than the chili paste.

Saengseon Gui: grilled fish, in this case mackerel. Not a big fish fan, but this was decent. It comes as a whole fish, sliced in half. So you pick the meat away from the bones, dip it into a sauce and eat it (all with chopsticks, of course!).

Haemul Pajeon: a form of the Korean pancake made with egg, flour and green onion. Seafood was added to the one we tried. I didn’t love the seafood, but the rest was very tasty.

Mandu: we had several varieties – steamed and fried, filled with a variety of things. Pretty yummy!

Bungeo-bbang: street food! And so very yummy, I could eat these all the time. Fried bread (chewy and a bit sweet) filled with sweet red bean paste and shaped like a carp. Served warm. Perfect for a dessert girl like me! And you can get 3 good sized fish for 1,000 won ($1).

Toast: another street food and another “five star” rating from me. These are little pieces of a sweet chewy bread with an egg in the middle (cooked). Served warm the savory from the egg and the sweet from the bread are a great combo. Also very warming on a cold night. One toast is 1,000 won and they are sold at the same stands as the bungeo-bbang.

We’ve also tried some snacks (no idea what they are; sold like chips in the convenience store), buns (dough filled with meats or sweets), soups (served with meals and I have no idea what they are), tofu (part of the food tour….and it was just regular tofu) and more. We also tried McDonalds and Burger King – both have a bulgogi burger that Tony really likes. Seoul has a lot of fast food restaurants with menus similar but different to what we have in the US. There are also so many coffee shops. You can easily see 5 shops in one building with 3 of them being coffee shops. Coffee is a bit more expensive here, but on par with what we are used to.

While I was nervous about eating here in Seoul (and we did avoid many places without a menu in English), I have found several things I enjoy. Maybe now I will feel more comfortable looking through the Korean cook books I have at home! Now we are off to the airport. Tony is excited to check it out – apparently it’s one of the top airports in the world (with a golf course, movie theater and more AT the airport!). Now it is on to Japan for our overnight, then back to Minnesota.

Court & a General Update

Our Court Appointment

First, thank you to all who have been sending us prayers and kind notes about today. We really appreciate them! When we landed in Los Angeles we learned from our US agency that we were assigned to the more strict judge, the one who has been known to be so thorough as to slow down the process for many families. We didn't know how strict he would be in person, so we've been a bit worried as we've waited for today to come.

This morning we woke up, dressed up and headed downstairs to meet the five other families going to court today. It took nearly an hour in traffic to get to the court house, then we sat in the hall and waited our turn. Surprisingly, Tony was pretty nervous all morning but I wasn't too bad. We did manage to get a photo of us waiting to go in (ignore my crazy hair -- it was promptly fixed after I saw the photo!).

When our turn came, we were called into the room and sat on one side of a long table. Our social worker served as a translator and sat next to us. The Judge was in the front of the room behind a large desk. He seemed friendly and asked us the following questions:

1. Mostly to Tony: Do you speak Korean?

2. Both: Explain what you do for your job in detail.

3. Me: Do you plan to work after you bring the child home? If so, who will take care of him?

4. Tony: How severe is your asthma and when do you have problems with it?

5. Both: How do we resolve conflicts in our marriage?

6. Both, a follow up: When compromise doesn't work, how do we solve conflicts or come to an agreement? (this was a hard one for our social worker to translate; I have a feeling he didn't really get an answer)

7. Have we met our child and how did we feel when we met him.

8. Any final statement for the court?

It took all of 10 minutes, including the difficulty in translation. After we were all done with court, we headed out for a traditional Korean BBQ lunch and a bit of relaxing. 

I know everyone is curious about "what's next" so here is a summary of what should happen:

1. In the next few business days the Judge will issue Initial Approval. When he issues this, a letter is sent to ESWS (the Korean agency), who will then let CHSFS (the US agency) know. We should at that point know if we are in the 14 day wait or if the judge is taking additional action (i.e., recontacting the birth mother) first.

2. There is then a 14 day wait, which is part of the legal system here. So, depending on when Initial Approval is given AND whether the judge is taking additional steps, we could begin our 14 days as early as sometime next week, or it may be an extra week or two.

3. At the end of the 14 days, the judge issues Final Approval. Again, the approval is mailed to ESWS who then contacts CHSFS, so this could take a few days. 

4. CHSFS calls or emails us to tell us we have Final Approval -- and we book our return trip!

As you can see, we don't have a solid idea of how long this will take. We don't know if we will be back in Korea before the holidays, during the holidays or after. We are officially back in the waiting game. However, we are hopeful that the judge will move things along quickly.

A General Update

Our time in Korea has been pretty good. Cold and windy, but otherwise good (and whatever bug I had eased up on Wednesday, so I was thankful for that).  It's a very busy city, with many places open from 10 or 10:30 am until 4 or 4:30 am. Overall it feels safe and most of the areas are clean and well lit. I would never want to drive here, though. Driving seems as crazy or more crazy than New York.

Tony has mastered the subway system, of course! We've also done a lot of walking, shopping (because it's inside) and a bit of sight seeing. One evening we went on a food tour with another couple here to adopt, a mother and daughter that stayed on our floor, and another women here on vacation. We had fun checking out traditional Korean restaurants, wondering through back alleys we would never have found by ourselves, trying a variety of foods we probably wouldn't have tried on our own, and enjoying some of the typical Korean adult beverages. I don't have time to post on all of that now, but here's a photo of our group:

We were also blessed to meet two lovely families staying on the floor with us (including the mother and daughter who came on the food tour). They flew home this morning and I have to admit, the floor is very quiet now. It feels a little lonely! I am so glad we got to know them. 

Tonight we are heading to the North Seoul Tower to check out the city lights, and tomorrow we fly out to Narita for our overnight in Japan (and probably a bit of sushi). There is of course much more I could post, but I'm running out of steam and need to wrap up.  As with most travels, we are looking forward to being back home, back in our own bed, etc. It's strange to leave a place so far from home knowing we will be back soon. 

Our Second Meeting Plus More Photos from the First

Let me start by saying wow....I am so glad I finally got some sleep! Tony and I have been trying to follow the time change rule and have been trying to go to bed at a regular time. Unfortunately I have trouble falling asleep, and we both can't seem to stay asleep. Last night we went to bed just after 10:30 and we managed to fall back asleep after waking up during the night. We didn't get up until 7! Feeling a bit refreshed.

So, it's 7:30 am and nothing here is open yet. Seoul is more of a night city than a morning city, with the nearby Dunkin Donuts being the only restaurant that opens before 8:00 or 9:00. I'm doing a load of laundry (and hoping it turns out. No idea which was the detergent, no idea which of the three slots you put it in....so I put a little in each. No idea how much to use and only a minimal idea of what setting we are washing on!). Drinking the instant coffee and thought I would post a few photos.

Here are a couple of photos from our first meeting that the social worker took. Our first family pictures!

We have learned that when someone takes a picture, he puts his fingers up like this to say "take a picture"

This photo was taken very early in the first meeting. He was just beginning to warm to us.

Yesterday we had some time to explore Seoul before our second meeting. We were up by 4:45 and both really tired, so our adventures began early but groggy. Unfortunately some of the places we planned to visit had listed their hours of operation incorrectly. We arrived and found ourselves with nothing open. But don't worry! The local Costco opens at 8:00 a.m.!! So, on to Costco we went. Tony was pretty excited to check it out. Overall it was similar to ours (though two levels instead of one huge level). Of course some food items are different, but many are the same. They did have a much larger meat section, small liquor section and far more sample stations than I've seen before. We tried their version of pizza (similar but not the same) and a bulgolgi bake in the cafe as well. We didn't buy anything -- hard to lug a Costco sized item around on the subway. But, it was fun to check out both the Costco and another neighborhood.

Our second meeting was at 2:00. We got into the elevator to go down to the first floor, but someone else on board had selected a stop on the third floor. When it opened, Oliver was in the waiting area -- and he recognized us! It was hard not to jump out right then! When we did get back up to see him, we went into a different play room that had a bunch of toys. Our second meeting didn't go as smoothly as our first. To start, he was all over. Literally. He went from toy to toy to toy, never stopping and never wanting to play. He tried to climb on top of a big car (very dangerous) and would not be deterred. He was being very willful and was not as interested in us this time. Honestly, after 20 minutes we were both exhausted!

He did settle down for a few minutes here and there so we could interact with him more directly. He also hit and punched me in the face, threw a full on temper tantrum, ran away from us and would not listen to anyone -- us, the social worker or his foster mom. Overall it was a difficult visit and one that left Tony and I feeling more "uh oh" than "how sweet!". We did get kisses and hugs at the end, but boy are we going to have our hands full. Here are a few photos from the meeting.

He knows how to use the iPhone -- how to select pictures, move between them and enlarge them. Here he is demanding we give him my phone. He was stomping around with his hand up trying to get it.

And here he is still demanding it, getting more and more upset that we aren't giving in.
We can tell he's used to getting things this way.

A moment of quiet interaction. Didn't last long, but it was nice to play with him!

Today we are doing laundry and then going to see one of the temples and some of the historic areas of Seoul.  Tonight we are doing a "Korean Nights" food tour with a few folks that should be fun. Tomorrow we also have the full day to do as we wish. Friday we have our court appointment. We learned that we have the strict judge that often slows the entire process down by weeks and weeks. We are praying that our case is not one of those. 

The Moment

Each parent is blessed with the opportunity of meeting their child for the first time. Regardless of how the child came to be a part of the family, there is that moment when you first lay eyes on them or first feel their skin against yours. For Tony and I, that moment happened today at approximately 9:55 a.m. 

Before I get to the moment, let me talk a bit about getting ready for the big meeting. As previously posted, we brought many gifts with us. Luckily they all fit in our luggage and they made the trip without breaking, leaking or crushing. We got them bagged and ready to go, along with Oliver's elephant back pack full of toys, snacks and more.

Our meeting was scheduled to begin with paperwork at 9:30. Since we were conducting official agency business, we were instructed to dress nicely but in something we could get on the floor and play around in. For this meeting I decided to wear a necklace from my Grandma Ev; we also brought a beanie baby that was given to my during college from my Grams, so both of my grandmother's were part of the big day. 

There are two wonderful, warm and caring families staying on the same floor as us, and one of the women kindly snapped a photo of us just before we went downstairs. Every second that went by brought more anxiety and excitement, and this photo was taken a mere 5 minutes before we met our social worker at Eastern Social Welfare Society. Here we are, one final photo of us before this whole parenthood thing becomes even more real!

We were greeted in the office by Mrs. Shin, who has worked with Oliver and his foster mother since he was first placed in her care. She is a sweet, kind and patient woman and we are so glad to have her involved in Oliver's life. After completing the visa paperwork, we were taken upstairs for the big meeting. We were running a bit ahead of schedule and didn't know they were already here. As the elevator doors opened onto the third floor we saw a woman and child sitting on the couch in the common area. Both faces we had seen countless times before, now here in the flesh. Immediately, his foster mother "introduced" us as Umma and Appa (Mommy and Daddy in Korean), though he didn't react to us much and just wanted to get down and run around. So our moment occurred in the common area of the third floor at Easter Social Welfare Society as we stepped off an elevator. Unexpected, but very welcomed!

We expected him to be timid of us at first, and he was. As much as we wanted to scoop him up and cuddle him, we held back and just stayed near him. The two big ice breakers were stickers and bubbles. He started with the stickers, putting them on his foster mom's face. She was wonderful and kept encouraging him to stick them on us (she encouraged him throughout the meeting to go to us, to play with us, etc.). Once we brought out the bubbles he really starting warming up to us. Here's a very cute photo of him blowing bubbles (in the background you can see his social worker, Mrs. Shin).

Mastering the Art of Blowing Bubbles

Overall, the time together was amazing. I haven't done the meeting justice here, but truthfully I am still a bit under the weather and it's very late here. I'm going to summarize the rest of the meeting and sign off with photos.We get to see him tomorrow for a second (and final) visit. I promise to share more detailed thoughts and emotions in another post soon.

During the meeting we:

- Played more bubbles

- Chewed gum he gave us (should a 28 month old really be chewing gum??)

- Ate the peanut cookie he fed us

- Held him on our laps

- Picked him up

- Were given hugs and kisses...multiple times! (**melted my heart)

- Read a book

- Played with more bubbles

- Rolled a ball, a truck and a car back and forth

- realized how exhausting a toddler is going to be and how willful he is! 

Tony and I are both so happy to finally meet him. I can't wait to see him tomorrow! For now, it's off to bed. Here are the final pictures for tonight. 

Bubbles were a big hit. Thank you Kate for having an extra bottle on hand!