Questions & (an attempt at) Answers

In recent months the number of questions Tony and I have received seems to have grown exponentially. I get it. We did tell everyone last year that "we'll know more in early 2013." Hey, that's what we were told! 

Trust me folks. There aren't two people in this little circle of craziness that want answers more than Tony and I! So, what do we know? Not much. And often what we know one day (or for a few weeks) changes suddenly. See this post for what the process used to be, before the new Special Adoption Law was put into place in August 2012: click here.

I thought it might be worthwhile to attempt to answer some of the questions we've been getting lately (for broader information about adoption and more, check out the FAQ page).

Question: How do they decide when it's your "turn" to go?   Travel dates are determined by two factors. First, the date your acceptance of the referral arrived in Korea (our date is February 17, 2012). Second, if your child has special medical needs that require immediate attention (i.e., organ transplant or other operation). Special needs children are moved ahead in line for obvious reasons.

Question: When do you get to travel to Korea? When will Oliver be coming home?   We can honestly say that we have no idea when we will be given the "green light" to travel. What we do know is that the final group of families that were part of the 2012 quota will be the first to travel; there will be then be at least one more group traveling before our turn comes up, maybe more.

Question: How are groups determined? Why don't you know what group you will be in?   Families are submitted to the Ministry (in Korea) for the initial approval in batches, just to make things easier. They are called "groups" and they range in size and composition. Each group will include families from around the world and who are using a variety of agencies. The Ministry will then, literally, take a stack of the file folders and leave the rest for the next round. As a result, there's no way to know how many families the Ministry will review at once and how we will fall in the mix. The families are selected based on the criteria noted in the question/answer above.

Question: Are the North Korea / South Korea tensions slowing things down?   No. It is not having an impact at this time and is not currently of serious concern to the local or Korean agencies. Everyone is, of course, keeping an eye on things.

Question: So what is creating the slow down?   As referenced in a number of previous posts, there is a Special Adoption Law that was passed in Korea in 2011, which created changes for both domestic and international adoptions. As of August 2012 it became an active law. Without getting into great detail, the bottom line is that the law adds a court step to the process (among other smaller changes). The Korean Family Court now reviews all adoption cases. The Family Court has been working to determine the best way to review the cases, hence the stoppage/slow down in international adoption. 

Question: Would it help if I contact my Senator? Write a letter to someone?   I feel blessed to have friends and family who are willing to help! Unfortunately, there's not much to be done right now. There are lots of folks advocating for the children and families, but ultimately we all just need to be patient. There are some cultural factors at work here as well, so it is important for us as pro-active Americans to remember that Korean culture is very proper and highly values tradition, honor, appearances, etc. So to have "loud" Americans telling them what do...well, that's not been helpful in the past and we've been encouraged to show restraint!

Question: Can you bribe someone or find another way to outsmart the system?   Nope! While bribery or other methods might work for some countries, Korea is a by-the-book country. We have to wait our turn. (and yes, Tony and I have been asked that question!)

I do wish I had more concrete answers, but we truly do not know what will happen. There are numerous possibilities being debated by the four Family Court judges who are working on the international adoption cases and we just have to wait for them to make a final decision. In the meantime, we are happy to see Oliver growing and thriving -- at least according to his photos. We pray for peace, comfort and patience for everyone involved (from the waiting parents and foster families to the agencies and judges). 

We appreciate that the wait isn't easy for our friends and family, either, so thank you for being patient too!