My Brave Son

Dear Oliver,

As we approach the one-year anniversary of meeting each other, I find myself reflecting on your journey. Thinking about this brings tears to my eyes; tears of both joy and sorrow. You have shown so much bravery that it is hard to imagine that you are only three years old.

I imagine your confusion at why your Umma kept showing you pictures of strangers and taught you to call them Mommy and Daddy. Strange faces and strange words, maybe it just seemed like a game. Then you met with these strangers twice, and they kept trying to touch you, hold you, hug you and play with you. The bubbles were fun and you eventually warmed up, but their words didn’t make any sense and you were okay with your play time being up.

And then…unexpectedly your Umma and Appa and brother probably began to be sad. They tried to help you understand what was about to happen. They tried to prepare you (and themselves), but once again it didn’t really make sense. And early one morning Umma and brother loaded bags of your things into the car. They dressed you for what would be the last time, putting you in some of your best and most favorite clothes. You arrived at a familiar place and once again saw those two people you called Mommy and Daddy, but whom you didn’t know. After a while your Umma and brother left you with these new people. 

I am the one who held you in the van as we drove away from that familiar place, heading for the unfamiliar. I tried to comfort you as you screamed and thrashed. I saw your fear, heard your fear. And yet, after resting in our apartment you bravely allowed us to care for you. Feed you, bathe you, dress you, change you. You showed us how you liked to play, opened up to us a little bit. There was still fear, but there was also bravery as you faced each day.

Your journey since that first day has been full of bravery. Trusting us, allowing us to get to know you, allowing yourself to get to know us. Living in a strange new house in a strange new land. Living in a place where you couldn’t understand what was being said. Feeling so much pain and sadness at all you lost, yet finding joy each day in your new home and with your new family. 

Oliver, you amaze me. You are so brave, so strong. Loving and joyful, funny, full of life. My love for you is so great, far deeper than anything I could have imagined. And as we near the anniversary of our first meeting, it is wonderful to see your love for us — two people who began as strangers bringing an elephant backpack, some snacks and some bubbles to a play date where they talked gibberish and weren’t really sure how to play. Yet here we are. A family of three, still learning about each other and enjoying life together. Thank you for being such a brave boy.

With all my love,

Mommy