Mother's Day

I don't think there's a single person out there who didn't know that Mother's Day was yesterday. Between social media, television programming (even Oliver's cartoons addressed Mother's Day), church sermons and the plethora of folks out for Sunday brunch, you just can't avoid the day. Even if you try, as I've done in recent years. 

This year, however, I was able to celebrate being a mom. In real life. Not "mom" to a cute little one living on the other side of the world whom I had yet to meet. Not a woman trying to become a mom or navigating the prospect of never becoming a mother. For the first time in a number of years, there was no emptiness and sadness filling my day. No sobbing quiety in church during the worship music. No dread.

Instead, there was joy, love, humor, frustration (hey, he's 2.5 years old and acting like it -- every day has some frustration!) and family time. We had brunch with Tony's parents to celebrate and they snapped this photo of us after the meal:

Trying to get a family photo with an active toddler is a challenge!

Our family! I am blessed to be mom to this amazing, funny, loving little man. His hugs melt my heart, his laughter brings joy to my life, and I am immensely grateful.

I am a mother today to a child who has two mother's that came before me. Two other women who have had a significant impact on his life. I reflected on that yesterday and pray that his birth mother and foster mother somehow know just how loved and cherished he is. How blessed we are because he's in our life. How much we appreciate the roles they have had in helping him grow into who he is today.

Yesterday afternoon Oliver and I walked to the neighborhood park. We pass by a fire hydrant, which he always has to stop and touch. Here are a couple of photos -- can you tell that he just loves all things fire (engines, hoses, hydrants)?!

Hugging the hydrant; he's so happy to see it!

Love

And now it's Monday, the first day of the work week. Also my last day working for The Collaborative. I've been here for over 10 years and it is very much like a family.  Leaving this job, this role, this place....it's bittersweet. Our company is morphing and wrapping up much of its work, so we've been winding things down over the last month or so. I will begin the next chapter of my work life next Monday as I help manage the transition of The Collaborative's largest event to the local organization that will be taking over the co-hosting duties. I will still be in touch with both my current boss and my coworker as we will all have a role in the transition of the conference, so at least today isn't a good bye. It will be strange to no longer gaze out my window and see the adult "bookstore" and the topless bar; to hear the Hennepin Avenue traffic; to have the office temperature be far too hot or too cold (never just right); and to be working with these people that I've come to know so well. 

One Cute Bath Time & Two Cute Playground Photos

Oliver loves bath time -- and playing. The playground photos were taken by Grandma today after nap! So lucky to have someone taking care of him that is happy to text us photos and updates during the day.

My Son, Your Son

The "my son, your son" claims/accusations are finally happening!
Tuesday night I sent Tony the following text message:

I just caught your son drinking orange juice straight out of the container. It was nearly empty so it was light, and he undid the lid and starting drinking! Completely a boy move!

Apparently that is the first time I said to Tony "your son." I think he was tickled by it, and he thought it was pretty funny that Oliver dove right into the OJ (and to be fair to Tony, he isn't known for drinking from the OJ or milk containers at our house -- but he's more likely to do it than I!). It was a moment where I turned my back to get his sippy cup, and then found him drinking from the source!

As I reflect, Tony has used that claim before, saying that one of Oliver's traits is just like me. Especially when Oliver does something like line up all his cars or trains (which is does often) or when he panics over messy hands or messy face. So it was pretty funny that about an hour after the OJ carton incident I was in the other room for a couple of minutes and came out to see this:

Something you can't see well in this shot: there were quite a few rocks on the ground with the dirt.

Important things to note:

1. He IS allowed to play in the gravel and dirt that's in the planter, so long as he keeps it inside the pot. It was one of my "giving" points early on (I think he started playing in it the first night we were home when we weren't supposed to say 'no' unless it was a safety issue).
2. He's cleaning up the spilled rock and soil using the dish sponge, which means he got the chair to the counter and grabbed the sponge (I was wiping up the counter when I left the room). 
3. His nails are filthy with mud.
4. I couldn't have been gone for more than 3 minutes, so this all happened pretty fast -- he wasn't playing in the plant when I left.
5. He was very proud of the fact that he was "cleaning" and just beamed with self-satifaction.  

Getting into the mess might be more of a Daddy thing, but the cleaning and being proud of cleaning? Pure Mommy.

**love this little guy**

Words and More

I'm long overdue on posting an update, so I'll try to cover some ground as best as possible. Oh, and as it's the end of the month, Oliver has been part of our family for just over 4 months now! 

Happy Easter! and He is Risen. Hallelujah!
The first big holiday as a family of three (yes, we were together at Christmas. In Korea. With a very sick and grieving child. Not really a "holiday" if you ask me!). We know Oliver was involved in church activities in Korea, but we aren't sure what his foster family might have done to celebrate Easter. 

We began with an egg-dying session (he had fun though he didn't really "get" what was going on), baked a cake and continued with the traditional Easter Bunny visit on Easter morning. While we attempted to incorporate the story of Jesus and His resurrection into the festivities, I will admit that we failed miserably this year -- aside from actually attending church on Sunday morning. He had fun in his Sunday School class and we enjoyed a great Easter message.

Oliver enjoying the cake clean up process

But back to the bunny. The Easter Bunny did make a visit, bringing Oliver an Easter Basket, a bucket of sidewalk chalk and a Mr. Potato Head, all waiting for him on the coffee table. Scattered about the upstairs were piles of grass holding plastic eggs (filled with candy) and a few other little candies and gifts. He managed to wake up while I was desperately waiting for the coffee machine to heat up, so he saw the surprises before I could get Tony up or grab the camera. His expression was priceless -- unmasked joy, surprise, excitement and delight. 

Learning how to play with Mr. Potato Head

Since he didn't have words to express what happened or how he was feeling, he acted it out for us. He put his hands by his head and pretended to snore, then "woke" up and placed his hands up by his face with a huge "surprised" expression and gasp! All to show us that he went to bed, then woke up to this big surprise. So cute and wonderful.


Tony and Oliver wore matching green checked shirts. I tried to snap a good shot with my phone's camera, but this is the only one that I could manage (let's just say that Oliver was very distracted). We have other photos on the *real* camera, so maybe one day in the distant future I will be able to get those posted to the blog!


After church we headed to Tony's Aunt and Uncle's place for the traditional family celebration. Delicious food, a fun egg hunt for the kids, great family time. At least that's what I vaguely remember....the day was, well, exhausting. Oliver was all over the place, refused to eat during the meal time, generally behaving well and having a blast -- just staying very busy. Tony and I barely got to speak to the family as we were busy tag teaming to keep tabs on the active kiddo, start conversations with family members that we wouldn't be able to finish, inhale some food and occasionally sit down long enough to catch our breath. Oliver always gets a bit hyper at new places, and around other kids, so we weren't surprised. All the chaos did mean that we missed out on a desperately needed/wanted family photo -- all three of us dressed nice for Easter. Bummer. 

What we didn't miss out on -- Oliver doing the egg hunt with his cousins, joy from the adults that after two Easters of waiting he was finally here and taking part in the festivities. Pure joy.

And perhaps Oliver's biggest take-away: a Chuggington train track and nearly all of the Chuggington trains, courtesy of Grandma and Grandpa. 

Spring? Hello?
Where are you? Oh...you're arriving in the form of cold and rain. And one last major snow storm before Easter. Great. More inside time for the little ones, after a teasing couple of days outside. Thank you (note the sarcasm...this Missouri girl is ready for the warmth).

And in other news, we think Oliver might be suffering from seasonal allergies. Runny nose, coughing, streaming eyes. It did give us a excuse  opportunity for an early night  valid reason to see how he would react to Benadryl, and he slept like a baby. It seemed to help a little, but the weather also changed to cold and rainy. I guess we will just keep an eye on how he does as the weather warms (because it has to warm, right?). 

Words
Oliver's vocabulary continues to expand! It's pretty amazing. He isn't putting too many words together, though we did hear the phrase "Daddy, where are you?" the other day. 

Two long awaited words/phrases passed through Oliver's lips this past weekend. The phrase brought me to tears, literally. He said "love you".  Do you remember the exact moment you first heard the words "I love you" from someone close to you? Honestly, I can't recall the moment Tony first said those words to me. And I can't remember the first time I heard them from my family (because they were always said). But I will remember the first time Oliver uttered them -- as Tony was leaving for work Friday morning. He said to Oliver "I love you" and Oliver responded "love you". Precious. And we've heard it since!

The second word we heard was only said once, but it gives us hope. He said "Oliver". Keep in mind that just last week when I asked him if his name is Oliver, he said no. When I followed up with, "Is your name Chae Ha?" he said yes. So not only did he identify that his name is Oliver, but he said it out loud! 

Amazing. Precious. 
This kid just melts my heart and warms my soul.

Mommy Reaction
I'm learning about what I will call the "Mommy Reaction." This is where something happens or is been said (or not said) that causes an immediate and intense defensive Mommy response. Illogical, irrational, not founded in reality, but yet it is a strong and visceral reaction. And it's hard to rationalize yourself out of the feeling. Protective of the child, standing up for the family, reality be darned. So, I've now had (many) mommy meltdown experiences, and I can add mommy reactions to the list. :)

Expanding Our Korean Cooking Repertoire
This past weekend we decided to try another classic Korean dish: Bulgogi, or grilled marinated beef. Thinly sliced by the butcher, marinated and quickly cooked on the grill, this is another meal right up Tony's alley. We've had this numerous times here in the U.S. as well as in Korea, and Tony's parents have made it as part of the New Year's Day celebration. This was our first time trying it out.

Oliver also requested another batch of Japchae (over jjajangmyeon, or black bean noodles), so I put that together while Tony mastered the grill. Both dishes were wonderful and Oliver seemed to really enjoy them (though if we are honest, he mostly ate the "bap," or rice, with kimchi). Perhaps one of these days we will feel comfortable enough making a few Korean dishes to invite some friends or family members over for a Korean feast.

Cute Pictures
I snapped these pictures tonight after bath, just before bed. First he's posing for the camera, then he's treating his dump truck like a "baby." Which is what he was doing when I first started taking the pictures. He is such a sweet child, very compassionate and tender. He likes to baby his stuffed animals and, apparently, his trucks.