The Gift, In Pictures

He's wearing his new (but too big for now) shoes and a pair of the socks while opening one of his new shirts

Posing in outfit #1 while holding up the photos of his Foster Family. The pants are a little big but the shirt fits!

Outfit #2! We had a hard time getting him to stop long enough for a photo.
Again the pants (capris?) are a little baggy but the shirt fits!

He really loves the shoes! 

He says "Thank You" to his Korea Umma and Appa!

With Love, From Korea

We have been home with Oliver just over 7 months now. Some families come home with their child and maintain a close relationship with the foster family while other families have no contact after taking custody. I have always desired to keep in touch with Oliver's foster family (they've known him longer than we have, after all), and have offered our personal information in our various communications with them (through the agency as part of our post placement requirements). 

Just over a week ago I received an email that was written in Korean and had Oliver's Korean name in the subject line. I got very excited and immediately used the translating tool to see who it was from. The translating tool did a terrible job, but I could tell it was from someone related to Olivers foster family! Thanks to a Facebook group I am part of, a generous woman had it fully translated before I woke up the next morning. 

The email was sent by a close family friend who calls herself aunt. Apparently in Korean culture is very common for close family friends to be referred to as aunt, uncle or even mom or dad. His foster family is curious about how Oliver is doing and shared with us some of his favorite foods and how he likes to be comforted when sick. The email also asked if we had received a package they sent couple of months ago, but we had not yet received. We were able to track the package down (still at the Korean agency, but someone was flying back to MN and brought it with them) and I picked it up at our local agency on Friday. I am so happy to have heard from them and hope that we are able to keep in touch moving forward. We also feel touched that they put together some items for Oliver and sent them over to us.

Oliver doesn't know what the package is, but he had fun running the errand with me.

We haven't shown the contents to Oliver just yet, as he was in a bit of a mood this weekend and it didn't seem like the best time. But since he isn't regularly on my blog (ha ha ha) I can at least share it with you. The items are definitely Korean and are, let's just say, unique in their style. The shoes are very big and may not fit him for sometime to come, and we will have to try on the pants and shirts. They also sent some (crazy) socks, a touching letter, and some photos. Several of the photos are from our meeting with the Oliver while we were on our first trip to Korea. Another photo is of Oliver with his foster brother, one we already have but are glad to get another copy. 

The bag just before Tony and I opened it.

The picture doesn't show the back pockets of the darker leggings -- and while not really "our" style, I can't resist giving them to Oliver and dressing him in them (if they fit). The woman in the photo is our Korean social worker and the woman who worked with Oliver's Foster Mother.

As soon as we show the items to Oliver I need to draft a reply and get it translated so that we can properly thank them for the gift -- and also let them know how well Oliver is doing. Tony has been working to go through all of our photos and we are saving them on a jump drive to send to the foster family later this year. Perhaps we will be able to think of another small gift or two from Oliver that would be appreciated by them, maybe a drawing or picture. It warms my heart to know how much they still care about him and I only wish that we could communicate in the same language! But still, a true blessing. I am very thankful.

Three

It's official -- we are now living with a 3 year old! It's been one week since he turned 3, and what a week it has been. Warning: this is a long post with lots of photos!

Oliver's Birthday
We woke him up with a great Monday-morning edition of the Happy Birthday song, a decorated door and two bundles of balloons. We didn't get a shot of him in front of his door, but I managed to sneak one in (he moved the balloons to the living room) quick before we had to leave for work:

I'm 3!

Oma had mentioned the week before that she had plans to bake cupcakes with Oliver for his birthday. He likes to help in the kitchen and especially likes to mix, and she sent us photos of their making his birthday treats:

Mixing is one of his favorite things!

I think after this cupcake Oma frosted and let Oliver do the sprinkles.

Opa took off work a little early to have some extra time with Oliver before we picked him up, which I think they both enjoyed. On our way home, Oliver crashed and didn't wake up when we brought him inside (a rarity -- he usually wakes right up when we get home). While Tony was ready to let him sleep through the night, I just couldn't let the first birthday we got to spend together look like this:

We agreed to get his presents out and try waking him. If he still wouldn't get up, I would give in and we'd celebrate on Tuesday. I guess the presents did it, as he perked right up! 

After gifts we had a fun dinner, featuring a few Oliver approved items (pepperoni pizza, corn on the cob, cupcake and ice cream). There was time to play with his new toy, then bath and his new firetruck jammies. I savored the family time and the opportunity to spend Oliver's birthday with him this year, and think he had a pretty good day too.

The Unexpected
Something I wasn't expecting on Oliver's birthday -- how difficult it was for me to:
1) not spend the whole day with him;
2) not be the one making a birthday treat with him;
3) not making him a treat at all for his birthday (I thought I would be okay just having the cupcakes he made earlier in the day as the birthday treat, but discovered that it really bothered me to not have a Mommy-made or Mommy-and-Oliver-made birthday dessert for our family celebration);
4) think about the first three birthdays of his life (the day he was welcomed into the world, his big traditional first birthday party and his second birthday). What we missed, how those in his life before us might be feeling on his 3rd birthday, how Oliver might be missing those that came before us.

I had expected to just be over-the-moon happy without any conflicting emotions, but it was actually a really hard day for me. It might have been the first day I cried at work because I missed him so much. I'll admit I had unrealistic expectations of being able to do all sorts of fun birthday things with him when in reality we only have 2-3 hours with him at night. There were things I had thought I could let go of, be okay with, etc., but in the end I found it too hard. I do hope that some of the grieving I seem to experience on holidays eases as time passes. I also hope Oliver doesn't struggle with grief on these occasions as he gets older, too.

Oliver's Birthday Party
Back to happier topics! To celebrate Oliver's birthday we held a small party at our house. In June we asked Oliver what kind of party he wanted -- trains or emergency vehicles (two of his favorite things) -- and he chose trains. My mom, stepfather, niece and nephew all came up for the occasion, and we had a few close family members and friends over Saturday morning. The weather didn't cooperate as it was extremely humid and drizzled off and on (the party was outside, though we did have a couple of canopy tents), but we managed.

I'll admit that I got a bit caught up in all of the pinterest ideas. As I am not naturally very crafty and creative, though, I didn't get too crazy with the train theme. We also wanted to keep things simple for Oliver so he could just have fun. We didn't have any structured games (but did have some coloring and activity pages around for folks to color), we just let the kids play and the adults chat. Oliver had a blast! He loves other kids and really enjoyed getting to play. We of course had time to open some gifts (he had fun with that part, and was blessed with some fun and incredible gifts), and finished up with cake, cookies and ice cream. 

Our snacks table featured an Animal Car, Spare Parts Car,
Candy Car, Coal Car, Log Car and Produce Car

One big area of concern was the cake: we needed enough to feed nearly two dozen people (so more than just a 9x13 cake); custom-made cakes are pretty expensive (and we weren't having a Thomas the Tank Engine Party, so the standard and less expensive character cakes wouldn't work); and I was feeling pressure to have a homemade cake (mostly pressure from myself). With some encouragement from my friend, Becca, a lot of encouragement/help/work/guidance from my mom, and one late night of decorating we had a train cake for the party!

Train Coming Out of Tunnel - First Attempt at a Creative Birthday Cake

I also ordered some custom sugar cookies, which turned out pretty cute:

I know Tony captured some great shots with the real camera, but I don't have those yet. Here are a few photos taken from various phones:

 

He couldn't wait for the song to finish before blowing out the candles.
Thanks, Nana, for holding him up!

 Oliver did great both at the party and all afternoon. He had so much fun and has since asked for more train party! I owe a big THANK YOU to those who helped make the party a success, from loaning items to helping set up / clean up, and everything in between. Thank you!

While this wasn't the first birthday of Oliver's that Tony and I celebrated (see here for his first birthday and here for his second), having the birthday boy here in person is a lot more fun!  

Cool Cut
It's amazing to me how many ways Oliver "takes after" Tony and I. With no biological connection and with minimal behavioral influences, he joined our family with traits that are easily identifiable as "just like Mommy" (he likes to clean and likes to line things up) or "just like Daddy" (he likes to take big bites and he seems to like golf). One trait he and Tony unfortunately share: they both get hot and start sweating super fast. I can still be cool and wanting a long sleeved shirt and they will both have beads of sweat forming at their hairline! Oliver's hair is so thick, and we've been trying to keep it thinned and somewhat short. A month or so ago I told Tony that as soon as our family photos and his birthday party were over, we could get Oliver's hair buzzed. Sunday morning found us at the kid's haircut place and I nervously asked for a close cut. The results are far cuter than I had expected! I sure hope this helps him stay a bit cooler!

Family Photo Session and the End of the 2s

As I mentioned in my last post, June 20th marked our six month anniversary of taking custody of Oliver. That was a very traumatic and challenging day for us all, but also the start of an amazing new adventure. By coincidence we scheduled our first family photo session the evening of June 20th. Our photographer, Sarah Syhakhoun, was incredible to work with. She was patient with Oliver, who decided that running all over the park was more fun than anything we wanted him to do. She helped Tony and I have some fun, even though we had both come to the end of very long and tiring weeks and were worried that Oliver was running off. And her photos…stunning. 

 

I hardly recognize this family! After the shenanigans Oliver pulled and our own tiredness, we thought the photos would only look so-so. We were very wrong. She took lots and lots of photos, and her own blog posting of our session can be found here. I couldn't resist dropping in a few of my favorites below, so see the end of this post.

As we prepare for the 4th of July weekend, we are also enjoying the last few days of Oliver as a 2-year-old. This weekend we are hoping to do a lot of fun stuff together (while I also work diligently on getting his birthday party stuff ready for next weekend). We haven't made any set plans but will be sticking around the Metro for the holiday. I am sure there will be ample outdoor time, and we might even try to catch a fireworks show with Oliver.

I hope you all have a safe and happy 4th of July!