Challenge #3 and #4

More on the challenges!

Challenge #3: Grieving

What adoptive parents are seeing / experiencing

• Crying inconsolably

• Crying/screaming/searching for “uh ma” (mom)

• Crying throughout night/night terrors

• Shutting down/withdrawing

• Clinging to parent

• Attaching to one parent/ refusing other

• “Strange” behavior 

Suggestions

• Give it time! Help them grieve!

• Stay near them as much as possible, focus on attachment

• Take breaks as needed, especially between parents

Challenge #4: Your OWN Grief

What adoptive parents are seeing / experiencing

• Still grieving about the long wait to receive your child

• Different parenting challenges due to age of child coming home

• The child you imagined may be different than after placement

• Your experience parenting will be different then many friends/family

 

Suggestions

• Take care of yourselves during this process

• Surround yourself with a positive support system, but limit the people who come into your home (support via outside visits one parent at a time, email, forums, or phone)

• Prepare your support system for the needs you may have before and after placement

• Connect with other adoptive families