Book Club Surprise

Let's go back in time, just for a moment. It's August 2005. I am sitting in the parking lot of a condo complex talking myself into getting out of the car and going into the book club meeting. It's a group I found online (which is a bit scary in itself for me), and though I've never been in a book club before, I'm eager to get to know some people in Minnesota. As I sit in the car, I have to fight off the "stranger danger" I feel, convince myself that I'm not walking into some kind of trap, and hope for the best.

Lucky for me, I did manage to get myself out of the car -- and I discovered an amazing group of people. Our book club is proud of the fact that we actually read -- and discuss -- the books, choosing books that challenge us, help us expand our reading variety, and broaden our perspective on the world. We do enjoy catching up, eating delicious food, and even sipping a bit of wine. But ultimately our time is spent focusing the book and the discussion.

In addition to our monthly meetings, we've also celebrated weddings and babies with little showers. For baby showers, we of course bring our favorite baby books for the new little one. At our meeting on Wednesday I was caught completely off guard -- they surprised me with a shower!

So cute!

A surprise shower. A perfectly normal thing that most expecting mothers experience. In our current topsy-turvy world of family courts, red tape, emigration permissions, annual quotas and an endless amount of unknowns, this simple, normal thing was just was I needed. I was so touched and cannot properly express how much I appreciate the generosity and thoughtfulness of these women.

The host, Shirley, printed little Korean flags and attached them to toothpicks. Adding a pair of booties, it officially became a Korean baby shower cake (yellow cake with chocolate frosting...a yummy classic). Our book club founder/leader, Danielle, brought along a decedant red velvet cake as well (Tony especially enjoyed the slice I brought home -- I forgot he is a big fan of the red velvet cake). Not realizing they were throwing a shower, I made pecan date bars; Annette brought cookies to share. It was truly a dessert feast -- perfect for this dessert loving gal!

Shirley made sure Oliver was represented - thanks Shirley!

This doesn't show all of the desserts (or the meal), but what a spread!

The library is off to a stellar start! We received such a wide variety of books, I can't wait to start reading them to Oliver. There are funny books, thoughtful books, educational books...and even a Christmas book and a book of first Korean words. Wow! Tony and I are both so grateful. Thank you.

I'm speechless...I feel so blessed by the women (and their kids) who took time to select
each of these books for Oliver. 

In addition to the books, Danielle brought a bouquet of spring. With our temperatures barely reaching the 30's this week, these lovely tulips are a real mood brightener. All in all, I feel spoiled, blessed, and happy to do something other expecting moms get to do. Thank you to my amazing book club!

Revising the Reading List

As you know, one of the true pleasures in my life is reading. I mostly enjoy fiction, though an occasional biography or non-fiction book finds its way into the mix (typically thanks to my awesome book club). 


In December Tony and I had our first Home Study meeting with our social worker. As part of her inquisition interview, she asked for a list of the books we had read so far about parenting and/or adopting. My heart sank. Panic began to rise up. I immediately felt like the worst parent-to-be...a complete failure. Not only had I not ready anything, I hadn't even started a reading list or bought a book! I thought she might reject us right there on the spot.


Luckily, she didn't (seem to) judge me for having not already become a parenting and adopting expert. Also lucky for me, she narrowed the agency's extensive list down to a reasonable four books to get us started. I'm happy to report that I've made my through the first three, with the fourth one proudly taking its place on the book shelf. The books have opened my eyes to a lot of things I hadn't even thought to think about! They have scared me, empowered me and attempted to prepare me. While not the "lightest" reading, they have been highly worthwhile. 


I want to share two of the books with you here. In no way am I suggesting you need to read these books, nor am I under any illusion that you've just been itching to know what adoption books you should add to your own reading list! However, if you have a lot of questions about adoption and how that plays out in real life, or perhaps you know a lot of families built through adoption and you want to be in a position to better understand and support them, one or both of these might be time well spent for you.


The first book is one that I recommend on the FAQ page, and it is one Tony and I gave/will give to our parents. It is specifically written for the friends and family of the people adopting and has a lot of great information and helpful suggestions. It covers all types of adoption: foster care, domestic, international, infant, toddler and older child. It's an easy read and you can skip around to the sections that are of interest. 

In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know About Adoption. A Guide for Relatives and Friends. - by Elisabeth O'Toole

The second book is more specifically geared toward the adopting parents and focuses on adopting a toddler (domestically or internationally). If you are interested in understanding what our little guy might be going through and how his adjustment to this new life could go, this book can answer your questions. It goes into a lot of (sometimes scary) detail on attachment issues, grieving and developmental delays. A much more serious read, but probably the best thing I've read so far.

Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft - by Mary Hopkins-Best

If you are looking for suggestions on fun books to read, you can always check out my Goodreads list for ideas. That's where I track my book club books and other "just for fun" reading. Happy reading!