Revising the Reading List

As you know, one of the true pleasures in my life is reading. I mostly enjoy fiction, though an occasional biography or non-fiction book finds its way into the mix (typically thanks to my awesome book club). 


In December Tony and I had our first Home Study meeting with our social worker. As part of her inquisition interview, she asked for a list of the books we had read so far about parenting and/or adopting. My heart sank. Panic began to rise up. I immediately felt like the worst parent-to-be...a complete failure. Not only had I not ready anything, I hadn't even started a reading list or bought a book! I thought she might reject us right there on the spot.


Luckily, she didn't (seem to) judge me for having not already become a parenting and adopting expert. Also lucky for me, she narrowed the agency's extensive list down to a reasonable four books to get us started. I'm happy to report that I've made my through the first three, with the fourth one proudly taking its place on the book shelf. The books have opened my eyes to a lot of things I hadn't even thought to think about! They have scared me, empowered me and attempted to prepare me. While not the "lightest" reading, they have been highly worthwhile. 


I want to share two of the books with you here. In no way am I suggesting you need to read these books, nor am I under any illusion that you've just been itching to know what adoption books you should add to your own reading list! However, if you have a lot of questions about adoption and how that plays out in real life, or perhaps you know a lot of families built through adoption and you want to be in a position to better understand and support them, one or both of these might be time well spent for you.


The first book is one that I recommend on the FAQ page, and it is one Tony and I gave/will give to our parents. It is specifically written for the friends and family of the people adopting and has a lot of great information and helpful suggestions. It covers all types of adoption: foster care, domestic, international, infant, toddler and older child. It's an easy read and you can skip around to the sections that are of interest. 

In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know About Adoption. A Guide for Relatives and Friends. - by Elisabeth O'Toole

The second book is more specifically geared toward the adopting parents and focuses on adopting a toddler (domestically or internationally). If you are interested in understanding what our little guy might be going through and how his adjustment to this new life could go, this book can answer your questions. It goes into a lot of (sometimes scary) detail on attachment issues, grieving and developmental delays. A much more serious read, but probably the best thing I've read so far.

Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft - by Mary Hopkins-Best

If you are looking for suggestions on fun books to read, you can always check out my Goodreads list for ideas. That's where I track my book club books and other "just for fun" reading. Happy reading!